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Posted: July 26, 2012, 8:42 PM
I have been addicted to nurofen plus for nearly 5 years.It is my dirty secret , my demon and it controls every part of my life. About a year ago I got really sick and was diognoised with stomach ulsers and accute enemia , at this point i was taking up to 90 tabs a day.My sickness was a direct result of my addiction.tests revealed that my liver was not yet damaged. I was put on iron tabs and nexium for the ulsers and slowly started feeling better, I cut down to 60 tabs of nurofen plus a day , saw a doctor regularly and was determined to kick the habbit. As i cut down the withdrawals were unbearable and therefore once I started to feel better I stopped seeing my doctor, my liver was ok so i thought i was ok to keep taking. My husband knows nothing about it , it is my secret and i hate it. It has now come to a crunch as I have moved to a small town and the only two chemists have twigged on and now refuse to supply me. Some days I travel 200km just to get my fix. I have 3 beautiful kids and I know i am playing with fire and my life but I cant stop! reading all your stories makes me feel like i an not alone but I do want my life back. this drug rules me . Any advise on whar to do?
Posted: July 26, 2012, 10:44 PM
Welcome to the first step of recovery!!!! You've already passed one of the most difficult hurdles to get through, admitting that you have an addiction and can't stop.
I'm recovering from a two year addiction to synthetic weed, I've been posting daily on that forum but in the end were all addicts and we need to help each other.
I'm not familiar with the withdrawal symptoms from your drug, but for me the withdrawals were what kept me coming back. On the tail end of my abuse I was using just to feel normal, I truly felt I was merely "medicating" just to get through the day without getting sick. It was nightmarish. I hated myself, which made me further use.
What I had to do was plan my own detox, literally whipe my schedule and have zero responsibilities for four days... I stayed at home alone with my detox kit (see my posts in the synthetic weed section for more details) lock the doors and go toe to toe with that terrible demon. I puked, shook, sweated, had explosive diarrhea, but finally made it through. After that extended weekend, when I made it through the worst and came out the other end, I felt as exhillerated as if I had climbed mount Everest. I have had zero relapses after a hard two years of abuse. I'm now going through the mental withdrawals, which is really just a depressive state that should fade in another week or two according to other posters. It eases my heart to know that there is an end to these feelings and it's close.
I don't know the specifics of codeine withdrawal but I think they can be much more severe than mine and probably more dangerous... I don't say that to scare you, I just want to warn you in case you need to ween off instead of going cold turkey. I've heard heroin withdrawal can be lethal if one tries to quit cold turkey after heavy use. Be careful and hopefully someone with more experience with your drug will chime in.
I'll be here for moral support and to help ease your physical and mental withdrawal symptoms, you can lean on me. I still go through rough times, lll lean back, we need to do this together!
Do you have the discipline to ween yourself off slowly, or will you just use continually until you run out?
I couldn't ween myself off, I tried. If I had any access to the drug I was going to smoke until I passed out. No matter what I told myself, I would abuse if I had it. I was forced to go cold turkey. Luckily it worked!
I had to cut all ties with any affiliation to the drug. I will never go to that side of town for anything ever again. It's blacklisted in my mind forever.
Have you considered telling your doctor? He/she may be able to prescribe you something that will ease the withdrawals. I understand if you want to keep it under wraps and stay anonymous, that's how I am too. It will be harder probably, but there's a chance you might be able to get through hell before the devil even knows your there.
With your children you might not be able to detox at home, you might need to get a hotel room for a few days that offers good room service.
In the end we all invited our demons in, it's up to us to tap him on the shoulder, punch it in the face and tell it to get the hell out of your life forever. It won't like that, it will fight back, it WILL hijack your thinking. Don't listen to it, just take the pain and know every second is a second closer to freedom.
I wish you the best of luck and will be happy to be part of your support system as a fellow anonymous addict. I will pray for you.
Are you spiritual by the way? I was not overly spiritual, didn't go to church or anything, but God really helped me through this one. I won't be all preachy though, especially if that isn't your thing. I'll still pray for you no matter what!
Posted: July 27, 2012, 11:56 PM
How are you holding up? I'm worried about you! Don't feel like you can't write if your still using, you have the desire to quit and that's what matters. I relapsed after my first post but stuck with it and now I'm on the other side. I'm here if you need me!
Posted: July 29, 2012, 9:47 PM
Firstly thankyou so much for your support and advise.
I took a major step after my last post and when I went into a chemist to buy the nurofen plus I told them i was an addict and needed to wean off it, instead of some lame period pain or back pain bulls*** . I was amazed at the support I got from them, I was not treated like some dirty addict like I thought i would be.
I also went back to the chemist that had refused me supply and stressed concern, she was fantastic ! within 2 hours she phoned me and had researched it, called a local doctor and made me an appointment.
She stressed that cold turkey was a bad option as withdrawals can be horrific and would more than likely make me go back on. She suggested I should wean off it but doing so through a doctor so as to get off the nurofen plus and take something without the iboprofen in it which is the harmful component of the drug.
That appointment is later today and I am actually looking forward to it, as I am so so ready to face this head on and get rid of this life controlling drug.
I feel like today is the first day of my new life.
In saying this do not think for one minute that I think this is going to be easy. I know I am going to have some sort of withdrawal while cutting down. I am also really scared that whatever the doctor gives me wont give me the same effect.
I no longer get any high from nurofen it just keeps me feeling normal, i just know without it I feel like I am going to die.
I am so happy that you have kicked your habbit, you give me hope and strength and I am so proud of you. I just hope that one day soon I can do the same.
Posted: July 30, 2012, 12:52 AM
Way to go Jane!!!
That took a lot of courage to tell your doctor/ chemist about your addiction. You've dedicated yourself now; it's only a matter of time before this will be just a bad chapter in your past.
Please keep us posted on how you do, good days and bad. I'm sure you will get into some very stressful moments ahead, we are here to support. I had nights where I literally cried myself to sleep, but I still knew I was winning because I wasn't using.
I'm so proud of you for taking that bold and very wise decision. Life really is much better on the other side, I promise!
Posted: July 31, 2012, 8:52 PM
I have been put on straight codeine phosphate tablets 30mg - 8 x 3 times a day. They are not the same effect as the nurofen plus and i feel only just ok, I thought I would feel better as I am taking the same amount of codeine as before. Had a s*** day yesterday as was my first . Woke this morning and went backwards - took my codeine tablets plus 20 straight nurofen tablets I had in medicine cabinet, not happy with myself at all. Will be good for rest of day.
So tempted to just go get my usual hit to feel a little buzz again but I have to do this . cutting down to 7 x 3 times a day next week and so on until I am free.
Will keep in touch
Posted: July 31, 2012, 9:38 PM
I totally understand, mornings can be rough! Yesterday was terrible for me but I made it through. My coping mechanism has been distraction; anything that can take my mind off of reality. I just have to keep that in check too, or else I could relapse into an escapist addiction. (it happens, Ive seen it) basically cross addicting to something else.
Stay strong and don't beat yourself up, I was harsh on myself in the beginning but luckily a fellow forum member helped me realize that. You need to heal yourself, not harm.
I had to get rid of all the "stuff" before I could break through to the other end of withdrawals. It's just WAAAY to easy to fall prey to addiction in a small moment of weakness, as you found out. Don't beat yourself up, I did the same thing. If your doctor gave you something to take the edge off but not give you a buzz, it might be time for your moment of bravery...
Toss all the neurofin plus. Don't give it conscious thought, or else the demon will rationalize its way back into your soul. Toss it. Make it hard to get. Make it SOO hard to get that it would take hours if possible. That will give your conscious, REAL self time to see that your just having a moment of weakness and snap out of it.
I had that happen yesterday. I had an honest to God desire to smoke, and I don't know how it would have played out if I still would have had some in my garage. Luckily I placed major obstacles in my way, so I snapped out of it and watched TV instead.
Only you know when it's time to toss those pills, but it should be sooner rather than later I would think. That's only if your chemist / doctor already has you on something to fight the withdrawals.
It's a lot harder to fight addiction when the substance still lives under the same roof as you. I was not strong enough. I doubt there are many that are.
Good luck! Stay strong and face forward, that relapse is behind you. Let it go and move on. You can't get to the future if your living in the past.
Posted: July 31, 2012, 9:56 PM
Count your victories too!
Sorry I went down in the dumps for a second there, had a stressful call while I wrote that last post to you.
So anyways.... You went a whole day without nurofin plus? Great job! I relapsed too, (not recently but when I was first quitting like you) don't sweat it just get back on the horse and keep riding. Pat yourself on the back for making it 24.... Everyone here know just how hard those hours can be. I think this site even has 1 day milestone markers. Next time you get to 24, go there and OWN in. You deserve it.
Posted: August 1, 2012, 11:41 PM
Thanks for your words of wisdom, very helpful.
Well this morning I had had enough and had a very weak moment. I took off in car in direction of where i knew I could get my hit ( nuforen plus and no crappy substitute) got half way there stopped the car and turned around. Ya Ya a moment of strength.
Called my doctor and made an appointment, went in and told her how the codiene tablets were not working and truth of my relapse, NO MORE LIES.
She was very understanding and got in touch with a drug addiction specialist who advised her to put me on endone????? do you know anything about this one?
Anyway here we go again, I guess all trial and error.
I dont mind something that will take the edge off and not give me a buzz, but dont want to feel that crap that I sneak back to my old ways.
If you dont mind me asking what country do you live in? As this site seems to cover the world over. I live in Australia.
Thanks again it is so nice to have someone to talk to, I cant talk to my husband about it as he has been through it before with me and I got off with his help. However he has made it very clear that if it happened again our relationship would be over. He is my all and everything and me to him . I do love him dearly, he is a great man, dont get me wrong. We just have different views.
Keep in touch cheereo
Posted: August 2, 2012, 12:21 AM
DONT TAKE THOSE!!!!! That's Oxycodone!!!! I'll explain more in a sec, I just wanted to stop you if you haven't already taken them. I'll post again right after this.
Posted: August 2, 2012, 12:26 AM
Take a look at this: more to come, but the consensus if you read all the posts is that Oxycodone (also known as endone) is lot stronger than codeine. More to follow:
Posted: August 2, 2012, 12:36 AM
Some more info:
Posted: August 2, 2012, 1:04 AM
What a perfect time to tell you what country I'm from, as it fits in perfectly with our current dilemma. I'm in the United States! Not to sound juvenile but I think it's just awesome to be talking to someone from Australia!
Anyways, why that fits is because we here in the USA have a BIG problem with Oxycodone, or as most people call them, "Oxy's". (if theyve got a street nickname that's already a telltale bad sign)
Oxycodone is highly addictive. The name for it in Australia is Endone, as you now know. I'm assuming they started here first and made their way to Australia so you all haven't heard the bad dependency issues with it, but just about anyone here in the USA knows that your flirting with addiction when you get your first bottle. Do a quick google search on oxycodone addiction/withdrawal and you will be swamped by horror stories.
Let me caveat all of this with: I'm not a Doctor and I should not be telling you to go against his/her professional opinion... But it's my unprofessional opinion that your doctors an idiot.
I could be wrong and I would greatly appreciate if anyone who knows more on this subject could chime in, but that just looks like a baaaad idea to me. It's like trying to ease cocaine withdrawal by starting to use heroin. (as an exaggeration)
I've been prescribed Oxycodone after I had surgery, I don't see how anyone can NOT get high off of it. To be honest I loved the stuff! Not good if your trying to quit an opiate addiction, though.
I was not an addict at that time and when my prescription ran out I just left it at that. I did want to get more but I would have had to lie about pain to get more and just never bothered. As I've said on my post I never had a problem with addiction... Until one day I did.
I've also had a co worker who was completely bombed on Oxys after recovering from a car crash. Two in-patient addiction treatment centers later and he's still addicted. BAAAAD stuff.
Wow, this actually makes me remember more of when I had that bottle of Oxys a few years ago... When I started feeling better I remember I stopped taking them, just to save them for when I wanted a slight buzz! No joke, I actually did that. They were just recreational back then.
Oxycodone has become known as a designer drug here in the USA with a very high street value. It's mostly known to be a "rich kid and soccer mom" drug, like cocaine used to be. It's possibly the most widely abused prescription drug on the USA, definitely in the top ten if I had to guess.
Once again, I'm not a doctor, nor should I be telling you to go against what they are saying, but it's my guess that it just hasn't blown up there yet and they might not have known what they were recommending.
Posted: August 2, 2012, 1:35 AM
And congratulations on stopping the car!!! Way to go Jane, keep it up!
Your on the right track, I just didn't want you to fall into another hole with Oxys.
Maybe just ask your doctor about why they recommended endone (Oxy), it's very possible they are seeing a side of this puzzle I'm not. Maybe switching from one opioid to another is good for withdrawals? I don't know, it doesn't make sense to me but I'm not a doctor. It's ultimately your decision and I'll be here for you no matter what. If you do take the endone just go easy...
Posted: August 4, 2012, 6:39 PM
Hi Jane, i am exactly the same as you . I have been addicted for four years. It ruins your life. I am 34 yo with 2 children. I went cold turkey 3 weeks ago and haven't looked back. The major thing was support from my partner. Withdrawal is agonizing , but I figured it was better than dying from an ulcer. I took some anti anxiety medication, because the anxious feeling is terrible. I also wore pressure socks to help with leg pain. If I can do it, any one can!
Posted: August 5, 2012, 9:57 AM
How are you holding up? I'm worried about you!
I hope I didn't overstep my boundaries by recommending you not use endone (oxycodone). I've just seen the effects of its addictive properties and didn't want you to have to go through that as well. Keep us posted, even in relapses! We're here for you.
Posted: August 6, 2012, 3:40 AM
Hi Josh and Jane
Jane - I know about this addiction and have been through/going through it still.
I think suboxone would have been better than endone. At least the endone doesn't have all the crap in it like n+ does. I'm on suboxone which has really helped. It's another thing to wean off but I can totally function normally and there are no major side effects.
Posted: August 7, 2012, 11:38 PM
Hi Josh / everyone
Sorry have not been on line for a while as do not have internet at home due to no service and have to come to library to use it.
Well thank you firstly for your advise on oxedone , I did take it as had not been on line to heed your warning. Totally wacked me out and also made me feel breathless so threw it in the bin . Not enough time to get addicted and good thing too as you say .Next thing I am going to say may not suprise, but then went out and bought Nurofen plus, sorry just so sick of feeling like s*** or wacked out from one drug to another. I just went back to my comfort zone ( nurofen plus) . One good thing is that I have cut down to 40 tabs per day instead of 60. Going to doctor today to fess up.
At one chemist I got a very friendly and helpful lady who had delt with "people like me" before, she also sugested suboxone said it makes you forget or more block out the feeling of need for your drug. Anyway I will suggest to my doctor, maybe I need to change doctors as she just seems to be doing a trial and error with me - I am not a lab rat.
So wow josh you live in USA that sounds exciting, I have never been there but would love to one day, maybe when my kids get older. So strange talking to someone on the other side of the world.
Will try to log on every few days, but if you dont see me here for a little while please dont abandon me as I will come back.
Posted: August 12, 2012, 8:45 PM
Well after trial and error on lots of switch over drugs to get me off nurofen plus, I am now on a weaning programe and taking reduced amounts of Nurofen plus each week.
Already down to 40 tabs per day instead of 60 so feel I am going ok.
will keep you posted as to how I go.
Posted: August 22, 2012, 11:49 AM
Great job weening yourself off!!! I'm terribly sorry I havent written sooner, I no longer feel any residual effects of my drug abuse and I think my mind actively chooses to forget or disregard those last two terrible years. I feel almost as if I've moved on with my life and don't want to retrace those painful steps. But that doesnt give me the right to abandon my fellow recovering addicts, I'm sorry for that.
How are you holding up now? Any more progress? Relapses? Good luck and keep posting, your chronicling of how you recover can be a guiding light to other addicts even years in the future. Keep writing and good luck! I know you'll make it through to the other side, let me tell you, it's wonderful!
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