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Let Me Fall All By Myself ...

Posts: 90
Joined: August 12, 2014

Posted: September 3, 2014, 4:08 PM
Thanks for the piece. 2 days clean today :)

And this piece just hit right on the spot. I came to realise by myself that I want my life to be different and not the way it was going. If anyone were to force me to stop I would've fought 10 times harder to stay in that state of mind.

Again thanks.

I'm not a parent but I can only imagine how hard it must be to let your children fly and if they get hurt or die it is sadly the way it was suppose to go then. Please don't put yourself through so much turmoil and hurt thinking that he might die and that is why you can't let him go. Believe that he will make the right choice and will decide on his own to get sober.


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Joined: September 11, 2014

Posted: September 11, 2014, 8:26 PM
Painstakingly well written, so true and so sad. Thank you.

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Joined: August 11, 2012

Posted: September 18, 2014, 4:42 PM

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Joined: September 18, 2014

Posted: September 19, 2014, 11:51 AM
Thank you. I needed to read this as I have been struggling with my emotions. The only thing keeping my boyfriend and I apart is the addiction. Neither one of us want to leave. But I can not be in love with the drug. As hard as it is, I have to be strong. He made a very intimate and passionate night for us into a reason to get high behind my back. I do not blame him, I blame the addiction.
I will be upset and the pain will run deep, but he needs to do it for himself.

Thank you.

Posts: 62
Joined: October 11, 2014

Posted: October 13, 2014, 9:58 PM
I keep this note in my purse and I read it everyday several times a day!!

Posts: 55
Joined: October 15, 2014

Posted: October 19, 2014, 6:37 PM
Yes this is all very nice.
I woul love to let my so called addcit monster brother fall.
But is it always easy to let them fall.
What when you have a dangerous blackmailing dictator who does everything they can in order for them to use their drugs?
All your energyy is gone already trying to stand up to them, trying to pick up the broken pieces.
Then what?
You yourself have come to a point you feel suicidal.
Spend more time and energy in order to try and get lawyers, have the police come, kick the lunatic out so that he might take revenge on you.
I do not agree that it is always that easy to let the addict fall so that they can learn their lessons.
We have addicts and addicts.
Some are as dangerous as criminals and they would do everything not to let them fall.
Every situation is different.

Posts: 62
Joined: October 11, 2014

Posted: October 20, 2014, 10:15 AM
I keep it in my purse.

Posts: 1
Joined: December 12, 2014

Posted: December 12, 2014, 4:35 PM
This tore me apart. But it's so true. I wish someone could tell me how you truly let them fall by themselves.

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Joined: December 15, 2014

Posted: December 15, 2014, 9:19 PM
Made me cry. Only wish is my new daughter's mom to hit bottom and be who she can be someday.

Posts: 2
Joined: January 29, 2015

Posted: January 30, 2015, 12:21 PM
I should read this to my enabling husband. I know he does things for me and cleans up my messes because he loves me. I need to fall flat on my face with no one there to pick me up and learn to clean up my own messes. Thank you who ever shared that, it was beautiful.

Posts: 3
Joined: February 7, 2015

Posted: February 8, 2015, 5:55 AM
RCMAMA : I am also the mother of an addict son! He has been on drugs since he was 16 he is now 31 years old! 15 years of HELL. I have protected him when he was in trouble, bailed him out of jail, given him endless supply of money! Fed him kept a roof over his head paid his bills sent him to rehabilitation programmes and made sure he never had to go without! In return he destroyed our family unit! He accused us abused us yelled and frightened us! Brought us all down to our knees in fear and pain for him! I have watched him get admitted to psych hospital by police intervention 6 times in the last 12 month due to psychotic behaviour all drug induced and going without ANY sleep 5-6 days in a row! We have beaten our heads against the wall trying to figure out why our beautiful child has done this to his life and come up empty handed every time! He has sisters and mother and father who love him so very much and we have been powerless in helping him to recover. I have finally excepted that there is not ONE single thing I can do to help my son. He can only be saved by the GRACE of GOD! Every day, sometimes all day I'm praying for my son! Praying that GOD will shelter him in his arms and save him from destruction, to open a door for him that leads to salvation, that he sends an ANGEL into his life to be his true friend and encourage him and give him HOPE and a future. I would get angry at GOD and ask him why he has allowed this to happen to my son and he spoke to my heart and I clearly heard him say " the pain that you feel my daughter is nothing compared to the pain I feel for your son! I knew him before he was born I formed him in your belly I gave him life and I will be the only one who will take it from him! I gave him to you to look after as a baby and child and now you need to hand him back over to me. I don't know the plans GOD has for my son, but I'm certain what ever they are it will be for his highest good. So I have let him fly! I don't know we're he's going I am terrified for him but I have to have faith that he will make his way back home again one day! So my advice to all you beautiful mums and dads brothers and sisters LET them FALL so GOD can take the reigns from you. The lesson I learned is that the more you give them and the more you shelter them the more they hold you at ransome! They will play mind games with you, manipulate you, threaten you, also threaten suicide and may even attempt it! the bottom line is they want you to feel as ugly as they do! Most days they succeed! So really you don't have a choice , you have to take the risk, you have to stop giving them an excuse to stay an addict!

This post has been edited by Fedup family on February 8, 2015, 6:09 AM

Posts: 674
Joined: August 17, 2014

Posted: February 8, 2015, 1:29 PM
Hi Fedup , that was very well put, very insightful-one thing you forgot-its now time for you to look after you- and your family-best of luck- i hope and pray your son finds his way home-

Posts: 2
Joined: February 17, 2015

Posted: February 24, 2015, 9:05 PM
This is my first ever post.I have been reading post,s and heart wrenching story,s,from,mother,s of crack addicted son,s and daughter,s.I was desperately,looking for someone,to say to me"a mother of an adult addicted crack addict"do not worry,this is what you need to do,to make your son better,or this is what you need,if you wish to wake up,from this hell on earth nightmare.Week after week,month after month,year after year,i spent looking for answers.I am 63 year,s old,divorced for the past 10 year,s.I am content in my little flat.My "addicted"son is 38 and has a daughter of 7 year year,s old.my daughter is 45,and has a son,whom is 20 year,s old .My daughter is very anti drug,s.my son married at 29 year,s old,but only lasted 2 year,s"owing to his addiction".I am a mother,whom has a very open mind ,streetwise,and have never judged anyone"and always
encouraged my kid,s,to be open and honest with me.when my son was in his early teen,s,it was the rave times,he was honest,and had no problem with telling me,that he took ecstasy.It was,and still is,"in my opinion"to know the truth"regarding your child,s drug of choice,.This gives you an opportunity,to talk openly,warn them, of the danger,s,advice them,and do all that you can possibly do,to keep them safe.As the year,s past,my son went to college,to learn his trade,and progressed with flying colour,s.He is indeed,a very clever boy,and his income,was higher,than most"of his age"and i was a very proud mum.My daughter,also,was dealing with her partner,whom had a cocaine habit.She decided,to take herself and her young son,out of there familly home,to a hostal,where they would live in one small room for over a year,until she was offered a 2 bed flat.At this time,my son had progressed in his drug of choice.cocaine"sniffed up his nose,as well as alcohol.I new that my son,was in big trouble by now.Would go missing for day,s.I would drive the streets,looking for him.He stopped talking to me.Would spend most day,s n nights in his room.After year,s of heartache,and a weekend,spent ,"as i thought"binging on his drug of choice,he came home,looking like death,dirty.He fell into my bed,begging for help.It was then,that he told me,he was addicted to crack.I held him in my arms,and reassured him,that we would get through this together,and that everything would be ok.I could not let him see,that my world ,was colapsing and falling from under my feet.so i told him to rest,whilst i made tea.On reaching the bottom of the stairs,i fell to the floor,my leg,s were not able to hold me up.I new that my son was in trouble,but did not dream of this.After about six month of attending rehab,i beleived all was well.He took many steps backwards,over the coming year,s.I completely believed that crack, would never be a part of his life,ever again.As time past,and moved out of the family home,i was shocked,to be told,he had never stopped using crack.And that he would go to work,only for the money to fund his crack addiction.So many lies,owed so much money,and the one thing, he had always managed to do,was to be a good dad and love his daughter,more than the world,he let her down,and was not able to see her.She is now 7.I am ashamed to say,that i also had an addiction,many years ago.This started with a slimming pill"dosspan"at that time,it was legal for a doctor to prescribe these pills.These tablets contained anphetamine,and were highly addictive.When these tablets were banned,i started to take speed.It was very hard for me to withdraw from my addiction,maybe that is why i have always been there for my son.My grandson is now 20,and it has been a real struggle,for my daughter 2 work hard,to give her son a good life,and made sure, he never wanted for anything.But at the age of 16,my grandson became addicted to gambling.He looks much older than his age,so no one"who owns these betting offices"ask for his I D,"as required by law"so he would play on these roulette machines.He now 20,and has stolen from his mum,and is a compolsive liar.My daughter and i,could not,continue to suffer any longer.We had no choice,but to give tough love.It was indeed the hardest decision of our lives.But my daughter is now at peace,but has a very heavy heart.So time will tell.As for my son,i text him for the last time,some weeks ago now.The message was the words of"recommended reading"on this recovery web site.TITLE:LET ME FALL ALL BY MYSELF.There is so much truth in this writing,and will never be able to thank,the writer enough.It took 4 or 5 weeks for my son to reply.The longest time of my life.The message said as follows___.Mum i hope you are well.I wanted for you no know,that i am safe and clean at this moment in time.I am not working,as i am on a full time recovery program and must attend every day.I was not able to stop my addiction on my own.This is going to take a long time mum,many months,or maybe a year.I am 100% comitted this time mum.But i need time and space to do this,.I will come and see you,when i feel strong enough,but until then,i have to be left alone.I love you more than words can say mum.Your son ?????.Time can only tell,if my son comes back to me.BUT I HAVE HOPE.NOW MY WISH,IS FOR MY DAUGHTER ,TO BE given some hope.NO ONE DESERVES HOPE MORE THAN HER.MY KIDS ARE MY LIFE.THANK YOU FOR REDING THIS.AND I WILL PRAY FOR ALL THE MOTHERS OUT THERE,WITH THERE BELOVED SON OR DAUGHTER FIGHTING THIS DEVIL OF ADDICTION.

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Joined: February 17, 2015

Posted: February 25, 2015, 9:13 AM

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Joined: March 10, 2015

Posted: March 10, 2015, 5:33 PM
What a heartbreaking BUT real reminder of how I need to Let Go!!
Thank You, I will print this and have it close by <3

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Posted: March 20, 2015, 3:19 PM

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Posted: April 8, 2015, 6:43 PM
What a story that gives someone like me support. One of the hardest things I have ever done in my life was to turn away my own grandson whom I adopted after he became a drug addict. I do not want to lose hope, and with comments like yours, I can again breath hope, by letting go.

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Joined: August 11, 2012

Posted: May 12, 2015, 8:13 AM

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Joined: June 10, 2015

Posted: June 10, 2015, 10:42 PM
This is beautiful! I don't think I am ready to let my son fall all on his own I am so full of fear at this point that he will die. He is my entire life, him and his 2 year old daughter, I was looking around for advice and help for my son who won't admit he has a problem and I came across this, I don't understand all the hurt in my heart yet but I am glad to know I am not alone.

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Joined: December 1, 2005

Posted: June 11, 2015, 12:52 PM

You're not alone, there are so many of us out in the world that are affected by a loved ones drug use and/or alcoholism. There is help & there is a way to be free from all that fear. People helping people heal and change.

Find a local Alanon meeting and go (Alanon.org). It saved my life and gave me a freedom I never knew existed, I always thought I couldn't live my life, I felt guilty, while my son battled his addiction. I learned through this site and the Alanon program that his addiction is his, my life is mine to live.

Glad you found us. It's not by coincidence that you wound up here.


Keep coming back~

Happiness is not in the bottom of a pill bottle. It's inside you.
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