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Posted: September 29, 2012, 10:28 PM
Hi, I just found this site this evening and I am really hoping to get some moral support and good advice. My husband was always a weed smoker. He didn't do it constantly so I didn't have any major issues with it. I have smoked weed multiple times throughout my life but it is/was a rarity. My husband as so many others crossed over to smoking the fake stuff they sell in the convenience stores now and smoke shops in my area. Over the course of the last year or better I have watched my husband become a total stranger. The entire time he is blaming me for our marriage problems. I do not feel that I am completely innocent in our marriage. I am sure I have items that annoy him, but he just doesn't comprehend, or want to comprehend the damage he is doing to our lives. There was one point about a month ago that I actually thought he would lay hands on me because of the level of hostility he had when he was out of the smoke. We have been together for seven years, and never once until that day did I feel threatened by him. I talked to him the next day and he got indignant that I would even think it was a possibility that he would ever hit me. Over the last couple of months his usage has increased drastically. He actually went through $100 of the stuff between Thursday and Friday this weekend. He ran out today to buy another $25 bag. He tells me he uses it for his back pain. I know my husband does have issues with his back, but he absolutely refuses to go to a doctor to get himself checked out. He says he is not going to go see someone that is just going to have him pop a pill and put chemicals in his body...I am sure everyone sees the irony in this statement. He justifies and tries to logic out his addiction. I can't take it anymore. Over the past 3 days I have not seen my husband straight. He was off work and began smoking the minute he woke up and its the last thing he does before going to bed. The time in between has been non stop. He is like a slurring zombie, he staggers, has issues walking, is hacking his brains out, rambles on to where he makes no sense, constantly makes little "suggestions" to me that are more like passive aggressive jabs. I am desperate here. I am beginning to truly believe there is no saving our marriage. The problem is I have no idea how to divide our lives. I am frightened because I don't know what is next or what I am going to do. We own a house together and a thrift store together (a store he has only stepped inside of 3 times in the last 6 months and it was his dream to have the business). Everything falls on me now. The finances, the business, the house, the food, the errands... I am so afraid to take the next step because I know it is going to be messing, ugly and exhausting. I am so so tired from all that has been on me for so long, I don't know how to muster the courage to do what is best for me at this point. I don't know how to help him. He refuses to admit he has a real problem and refuses to get medical advice for his issues. I don't even know where to begin. I have never had joint property with someone before and I don't know what to do. We are not rich and I cannot afford to pay an attorney lots of money. Another issue is our pets. We have 2 dogs. They are both mine, but now according to him the one dog is his and there is no way in hell I will ever get that dog. The dogs are like my children. I cannot have any real ones so they get my love. I refuse to leave one of my babies behind. I don't think it is fair to separate them and he has no interest in keeping the other one. I am afraid that if I try to take my dog/s, I am going to see a side of him I am terrified to see. Can anyone offer me any advice, suggestions? I am feeling so hopeless at this point. I kept track of what he spent in 1 month on this stuff and it was almost $1,000. He only brings home 850 every 2 weeks. We were a month behind on our bills but that didn't seem relevant. I had a small settlement come in yesterday from an injury I had. It is 3/4 gone already just catching up all of the things that were past due and currently due. Any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.
Desperate in Florida and feeling beat down and hopeless. Thanks for listening. -------------------- Sherry Justine[COLOR=blue] | ||
Posted: September 29, 2012, 10:48 PM
if you are serious, quietly get a hold of an attorney, im sure he will tell you to start documenting his drug use and the money issue, get some money put aside foryourself and then get serious about what you want to do
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Posted: September 29, 2012, 11:02 PM
momg,
Thank you for your reply. I just don't really know what other options there are. I don't think he is going to quit. I could go to his mom for help but feel horrible burdening her with this as her husband of 50 years just passed away in August. She has so much on her plate already. I am open to suggestions by all means. The problem is where do you draw the line and say this isn't really fighting for my marriage anymore? I feel like an enabler because I don't go ballistic. He is such a b****** sober, sometimes I secretly wish he would go get some just to cut me some slack. It makes me feel like a horrible person. -------------------- Sherry Justine[COLOR=blue] | ||
Posted: September 30, 2012, 8:57 AM
i would personally not stay married to someone that used all our resources for drugs, but that is where your decisions come in. we dont look for this site unless we are desperate for help. and the help is for us, as the more you read the more you see that you cannot force another to change, it is only for ourselves. it is hard to make these decisions but even if you decide not to have him leave i always advocate having access to money privately, start by assessing what boundaries you can set and stay with, keep reading on the family board and the archives and learn from all of our mistakes.keep posting
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Posted: December 2, 2012, 6:46 PM
I'm so happy that I'm not the only one going through this. My boyfriend of 4 year and now we have bought a house together has the same proplem. I have tried everything. I have gotten mad, cried, screamed and just flate stop talking to him. I'm always frighting for his attention and the fake weed always wins. It's a very lonly for the other person. I am at the point that I'm not going to help him. This isn't my addiction, it's his. It doesn't mean that I have to hang around while he's getting high. When our relationship falls apart, I will make sure he knows why.
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Posted: December 13, 2012, 9:29 PM
10, 15,& 20$ depends on cash I have. Doesn't matter if I eat a Good meal as long as I eat a chesseburger from the dollar menu. This is everyday. I'm reaching out for help but it very hard
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Posted: December 23, 2012, 11:14 AM
I wish i knew how this turned out.
I am the one with the problem, and feeling so guilty every day. Well, today is the day we ran out of money, so there is no more...and i am scared. Without it for even hours amd i am sick to my stomach and jumpy, and that's when the crying starts and to my experience has never ended until i got some more, i have never been able to ride it out until it's over. My husband won't leave me over it, and wants very much to help me. Every problem we have is this awful fake weed. It was supposed to be a toy, and I can't believe myself how much i wish i had a$20 to get some more, and it's 2 days before Christmas and i already know that it's going to be horrible. Everyone will come over and watch grandma struggle with her stupid addiction.. I would really like to hear that it's a thing that happened in yoir past and lessons were learned and you all lived happily ever after...wish me luck. | ||
Posted: December 24, 2012, 1:57 AM
Hi to everyone. First off I'd like to thank everyone for their experiences. I've been useing the fake weed for a few years now. Im just as you once were can't believe how far it has gotten. I first started to pass drug test for work. I used to smoke real weed then found out about this untracible new thing. I don't want to drag this out. If I don't smoke a I can't eat I notice the cold sweats and the mood changes. IV really put my family in a bind with debt and lost a lot of fire I had with my middle school sweet heart. We have three kids together and IV been on the verge of losing everything. Now my job is going to start testing for it and tonight I just smoked my last bowl I got. I think its the worse drug I've ever done more addictive to me the coke or even trying crack when younger. I think the hardest part of it is is trying to quit alone and no one that don't do it realizing it is as addictive as it is. They think its easy for something fake to quit. But by reading all yalls struggles I realize I'm not alone. I believe I can do this I've stopped before but fell back in. Luck for me I'm out of town and have no where I know to reup. I'm going to try to stop cold Turkey and I think looking at this form and reading it in hard times will help me. So thanks and ill keep u posted
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Posted: January 2, 2013, 3:36 PM
My fiancé has been smoking it for years. He is in full denial of doing anything. His whole personality has changed. We fight constantly, we're always broke and he doesn't believe there's an issue. I'm the crazy one who accuses him daily. Finally, I searched his car and found 2 bags. I threw it at him and left in a crying rage. How did it become to this?! I'm lost for words. We worked things out and I told him I'd help him wing himself off of it. That's what we did. He smoked and smoked for 3 days straight and by the 4th he was sweating and sick. Monday came around and he came home from work and was starving! Hard for me to believe because not even 24 hours prior he couldn't eat? It's been about 2 wks and I found pieces of it on our table. He denies that's what it is. I'm not stupid but he makes me feel crazy. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried and tried to help but it doesn't stop. I hate this stuff. We've been together for 4 years and have lived together for 3-1/2 years. I don't know how to help him. I pray and pray, hoping gods plan is greater. I just wish he'd admit it. :( I'm sick over it. God Bless all of you struggling with this!
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Posted: January 14, 2013, 6:01 PM
As a fake weed addict I truly understand you because of the fact I'm a weed fake weed consumer. All I gotta say to you is fake weed did also ruin my life and still is. I am already in the point of having no friends no one at all. He as well as I should get some serious medical attention but we are so damn addicted to it we are risking our own life's. This just shows you that It's almost impossible to quit when you become an addict. It sucks :( I was only able to write this while I am high on it because being sober I wouldn't had.
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Posted: January 18, 2013, 5:57 PM
I too am dealing with this same problem daily, my husband was a weed smoker but had to stop due to his work. He then started smoking this fake stuff and has been hooked ever sense. Just this morning he had a bad trip and called me and said he couldn't drive and his head was pounding and he felt like he was having a heart attack it scared me to death. We have two litte ones that need him as well as I do. He promises that he is going to stop because it is not worth it. He said that it is so hard though cause everyone in his field smokes it. Has anyone that has been addicted found a way to get away from it? I am desperate but happy to know that I am not the only one dealing with this problem.
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Posted: January 21, 2013, 11:54 PM
I am having the same problem. I'm on my last straw right now. It won't be long until I have to leave the guy I've been in love with for the past 4 and a half years. I'm still love the hell out of him and I know he loves me. But this stuff has changed him and I feel so alone even if he is right next to me. I hate this stuff. Something needs to be done about it and the people who r making and selling it. I'd love to hear from anyone who is addicted or is dealing with someone who is addicted. My boyfriend and his friends are all passed out in the living room right now, like every day. It's disgusting and sad because he and (most) of his friends are really sweet and great people. They did not know what they were getting themselves into when they started smoking this crap. :'(
This post has been edited by pll87 on January 21, 2013, 11:56 PM | ||
Posted: January 28, 2013, 7:47 PM
If he is smoking that fake s*** its stupid. I have seen many kids freak out because of that and one person is now paralized from the neck down from it. If he is dumb enought and irrigant enought to think that's a safe alternative and is willing to almost lay a finger on you for something that is considered to be fake weed then he is and should be to you nothing. Nothing wrong with the real thing but you can actually have an addiction to the fake s***. Trash it and bag it.
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Posted: February 3, 2013, 4:46 PM
my ex has this problem too be still gets money from he and his new girlfriend and the reasons for haveing us both on a string is for money so he can keep on smoking more and more of this stuff. isnt there any place that helps?
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Posted: February 4, 2013, 9:59 AM
This addiction is real!!! Im an addict...quit cold turkey, landed me in hospital twice from withdrawal pains. I wake up, smoke so i can eat, couple hits will do, i smoke , i love the thinking highs... I smoke so i can sleep, so i can smile, what once used to be a fun past time became a way of life...i smoked to maintain...to maintain everyday life. Im an addicted. Something needs to happen people. People need to be informed...its scary..but very real. Its changed my life. The withdrawal pains are like no other. Almost killed me. 27 days i puked , Couldnt hold food or water down. Potassium level was so low . Then after seeing hospital twice and many ice cubes later (dehydration)..my appetite came back...i survived the physical withdrawals, not pretty . ;( this is real and i want to be heard and to inform people....it all should be illegal.
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Posted: February 4, 2013, 10:09 AM
And to touch base on other subjects ...bc this addiction is real, instead of leaving him, please get him help...dont give up on him. As an addict from it....the same girl who posted the last post today, i know for a fact he wants to be helped, he , deep down, does not want to smoke to maintain. ..please, my advise is to get him help. He is killing himself right now and doesn't realize it...
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Posted: February 5, 2013, 9:20 AM
I am sorry to hear your stories of the pain and challenges that have faced some of you and the ones you love. I'd like to point out that at because this fake weed is legal, you or your loved ones can seek assistance as required without any fear of criminal charge. Better to have these products in the legal sphere where they can be better regulated, where user issues can be dealt with in a health framework and not a criminal one.
I hope that the addiction challenges you and your loved ones have had with fake weed, will in time, and with sensible drug policy, will help to shape an improved regulation of these products. | ||
Posted: February 6, 2013, 12:55 PM
This is insane, I'm very glad to have come across this post, my boyfriend of eight years and father to my two children is definitely addicted to this fake weed and definitely in denial about it. I'm at the point where I know for sure I will be leaving him once our lease is up at the end of this month. He just recently lost his job and was expecting his last check today, but there was a mix up with the company mailing out his check, and I will not fund his habit, so all morning he has been in the basement laying on the floor because he can't function sober. He will spend his last on buying this fake weed and will even overdraw his bank account to be able to get money to purchase it. It takes priority even over spending time with his kids!!!yuck!! I totally feel lost because he is evil And mean when he is sober, the only time he is smiling, happy, and sociable is when he is high and I just feel like I can't predict how he will act from day to day and that scares me. I am literally counting down the days for the lease to expire and we go our separate ways. He is a total stranger when sober, I just feel like this stuff needs to be illegal. I wish you all luck with you or your loved ones addiction.
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Posted: February 6, 2013, 5:08 PM
Um hi I came across you guys post looking to find out what was in this fake weed cause I wanted to be pre cautious about what was in it and what I was going to smoke. As I'm reading your problems I see that this is bringing much problems and stress upon you guys or should I say ladies lol marriages. I was a heavy smoker smoked roughly 4 5 times a day for a couple of years. And I see the similarities in the problems it brought. Moms (I'm 20 btw) on my back giving me havoc, can't get a job due to drug testing and just burden in every aspect. Justine I read your story don't get a divorce your the only female who knows and completely love this man he will be lost and devastated without u. You have a good man he just smokes he doesn't cheat, have a drinking problem (you didn't mention) so u have a good guy. him taking one of the dogs should tell you he doesn't want you to leave. My best advice for u guys is to pray on it that's how I got over my addiction (it's been over 11 months) and yes the thought still be on my mind smh but its not worth it. Wish u the best :)
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Posted: February 6, 2013, 6:00 PM
what some of you are failing to realize, is that addiction is a disease. would you leave your other half if they developed cancer? It's like this. when you continue drug usage it produces more serotonin than your own brain does, which is a chemical that makes you happy and feel good. the drug causes your brain to produce more than what it should. eventually your body becomes reliant on the drug to produce those things. this is why when someone is off of it for more than a day, they are listless and depressed. All it does is chemically alters your brain. It's all science people. It's not just us being crazy or lazy or sick. it's a disease. no different then drinking alcohol and smoking a cigarette. The problem is that no one knows exactly what's in this chemically. I was sooo hooked on it. I never understood addiction until this happened to me. I really feel bad for these guys... ;( girls please don't leave them. They are in a state that they don't even realize.. please please believe me when I say this...FOR ANYONE WHO NEEDS MY SUPPORT PLEASE EMAIL ME!!!!! THIS IS SERIOUS AND I WAS THANKFUL MY MAN UNDERSTOOD AND HELPED ME THROUGH IT... EMAIL IF YALL NEED TO!!! saynray@gmail.com
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