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64mgs For 4 Years. Want To Be Done

Posts: 1
Joined: September 26, 2019

Posted: September 26, 2019, 3:20 PM
Ugh where to even begin...I am 27 years old and live in SW FL. I started the clinic in October 2015. Makes me shutter to even say that. To realize how long I've been on Methadone. How long I've been putting it into my body. I feel ashamed.... guilty. I started using opiates when I was 18, when my boyfriend at the time, which I was with from 16-22 years old, introduced them to me. I was smoking "blues" off foil for the first 5 years of my addiction. Then, years later was introduced to IV use, by you guessed it. We had gone out separate ways and hadn't spoken in years. Got together with him and boom, he dug me deeper into the addiction hole. I DO NOT blame him entirely, I'm my own being and make me own decisions. I CHOSE to further my addiction. Anyways, fast forward to 2015 when I started the clinic. I had met someone else, through the addiction world, that was going to the clinic and said it had saved his life. We ended up starting a relationship together and I started to clinic because I couldn't be actively using around someone trying to maintain sobriety. Sobriety as in the clinic. So everything was fine the first 2 years. Then I slipped into using on top of the methadone. I would do a pill at 10 o clock at night after I felt my dose had worn off some. It started once in awhile, to every night, now back to once in awhile. I want to GET OFF THE METHADONE so badly. I just fear I'll revert back to using daily. I also feel like if I don't take that step to get off the Methadone I blink and 10 years will have gone by of being chained to the clinic. I hate it. Hate it so much. I kept it hidden for the first 2 years from everyone except my boyfriend. Who I am still with today. Man, addiction is so hard. The highest I've ever gotten was 80mgs. I have been at 64mgs for the last... probably almost a year now. I need advice. Tips. Whatever ya got. Just need someone to relate to and tell me what is best to do from here. I feel lost.

Posts: 61
Joined: August 26, 2019

Posted: September 26, 2019, 8:14 PM
Hang in there

I’m no big fan of methadone but if you think you’ll relapse when you’re off methadone, it’s probably wise to wait.

When you’re ready to walk away, don’t stress. Lots here to talk you into a soft landing.

Don’t stress.
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