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Finally Getting Clean

Posts: 20
Joined: June 17, 2015

Posted: October 29, 2015, 11:12 AM
My story is a lot like other people's story. I had a difficult time growing up and coping with things. About 3 years ago, I allowed myself to start taking opiates to "feel good". This did help alot at first, especially seeing I was dealing with a new divorce, becoming a single mother of two, and other issues added. At first, the pain medication helped in alot of ways, both emotionally and physically.

12/19/2014 was the first time I attempted getting clean, my life was complete shambles at that point. I made it 19 days before I relapsed. The saying one is too many and 1000 is never enough truly relates to my addictive personality. It didn't take long for me to become fully dependent again.

Since then, I have tried numerous times to get clean, with no luck. This time is different, I feel it. I don't know how to explain it, but I can feel the motivation and drive this time, like I HAVE to be successful and won't let it go any other way. Today is day 3 with no opiates and I feel somewhat ok. I know things will only get worst before they get better, but, in the end,
they get better!

I have started working out every night and every morning, which really helps elevate my mood. During the day, I use Excedrin Tension, when needed, take a double dose of my mulit-vitamins, and drink lots of water. When ever I start to feel a little down, I take a very VERY small hit of green, just enough to relax my mind and elevate my mood. I've NEVER considered green a drug and never will, I believe it's a great form of herbal medication giving to us by mother nature, which is scientifically and medically proven to help with many different conditions. We won't go there right now, though!

Although, I do know my immediate future is going to be a tough one, my far future will be absolutely amazing!

I plan to write every day, both in my journal and on forums, so don't be afraid to say hi or ask for a shoulder, I'm sure I'll be asking for a shoulder from time to time!
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