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Do We Ever Get It Right?

Posts: 1
Joined: October 25, 2021

Posted: October 25, 2021, 5:11 PM
Nothing more discouraging than seeing the same codependent behaviours in myself all these years later. I hate myself right now. I have all these tools and teachings and still can’t get it right. If they don’t want to help themselves,there’s nothing to do but watch them die. I’m exhausted, my heart is breaking and I feel like this is a serious character deficit . I guess I haven’t learned a damn thing. I also have a serious rage against alcohol.

Posts: 10
Joined: August 24, 2021

Posted: October 26, 2021, 8:22 AM
We deal with it because we love them.
I'm going through it myself. One day I feel pretty good about moving out, and the next I wonder if I''m giving up too quickly, and wondering if things were really all that bad.

You are fine, and what you are feeling is normal.

Three months ago I walked away.
Yes I still help her by doing some things around the house to prepare her for winter, but I do not stay long.

The other day I almost gave in and almost "went home" to stay.
Then I read the little log book that I wrote over the years. a diary of sorts. The good, and the bad, and the ugly.
Just reading about my candid feelings and sorrows, written over a period of years made me realize I was doing the right thing.

I'm a guy that gave up a pretty plush life to life on a boat.

The cycle of co-dependance is hard to break.

Posts: 37
Joined: February 17, 2021

Posted: October 28, 2021, 10:20 PM
I'm guilty too to a certain degree. My daughter has roped me in with some crisis and it usually ends up costing me money. Meanwhile she gets royalty checks in the mail from her deceased dad's oil wells and I'm working for $12.50 per hour living paycheck to paycheck. I've quit listening to her stories and I have been only paying her phone. She's on my plan. Being naturally naive, I later learn most of these stories are not real...

Someone once posted the definition of co dependency is 'neglect of self'. I think that describes it really well. I'm so done and tired of it all. I've lost my patience and tolerance which is probably a good thing.

Posts: 83
Joined: January 18, 2022

Posted: January 19, 2022, 9:23 AM
have faith in yourself. you are not the person of yesterday. you are the person you are today. the past is for learning, not dwelling. you are a new person every morning, if you choose. hang in there. i got out and i have 25years of dope and methadone abuse behind me, and i am just sum guy. i know you can get free, because i did.

Posts: 58
Joined: January 9, 2017

Posted: January 20, 2022, 11:02 AM
just sum guy

Wow, 25 yrs.... That is awesome!
Stay true and keep up the good routines you have now.

Posts: 83
Joined: January 18, 2022

Posted: January 24, 2022, 7:45 AM
thank you jefferyrunner. you did awesome yourself it seems. i love to see another son of god remember who he or she is, and pull rank on reality. used to be we feared reality, and now, after detox n recovery, reality fears dealng with us. how about it!?? cause it makes me grin. wildly at that HA HA HA
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