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Helping An Alcoholic Out Of State

Posted: September 14, 2020, 11:33 AM

I first wanted to say thank you for reading my post.

My family is wanting to assist a loved one who lives out of state with her alcoholism. I am reading a lot of information on how to help in a productive way, but the distance might make these suggestions difficult.

A lot of the information suggests having an "intervention," but this may be difficult to accomplish online or on the phone, since our loved one will be able to end the call at any time. Also, given COVID-19, a lot of our family members are not able to travel right now.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to approach this. A few of us have tried allowing her to confide in us and we have tried to talk with her about seeking help. She doesn't want to acknowledge there is a problem.

For context, our loved one drinks to the point of black out on a daily basis. It often puts her in a depressive or aggressive state. We are worried she will continue to isolate herself before we are able to successfully intervene, and the distance has made our efforts harder.

Thank you in advance for any and all advice.

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Posted: September 14, 2020, 3:53 PM
Hi Marie. Unfortunately you cannot make someone get sober if they are unwilling. If the situation were different and your family could do an intervention than maybe there might be a chance that your family member might allow someone to help but in the meantime in my opinion that there is not much you can do other than let this person know that you care and you will be there for support if the time comes when help is sought. Maybe someone will be able to offer better suggestions than my reply but until this person is willing to be helped I don't think there is much that can be accomplished . I know and understand it is frustrating and that you feel helpless. I wish the best for you. Please let us know how you make out.In the meantime maybe you could seek support at Al anon ..

This post has been edited by pirate on September 14, 2020, 3:54 PM

Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need

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Posted: September 15, 2020, 7:27 AM

We are linking your post to Families/Partners of Addicts board. There are people there who have struggled with similar issues.

- the moderators

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Joined: May 13, 2007

Posted: September 15, 2020, 4:30 PM
I am in NO way an expert. However, I understand that to know someone is out there who hears and cares is helpful. There are lots of people out there such as myself who struggle on a daily bases with the choices of drugs and alcohol abuse of our loved ones. I do not know if there is a way for an intervention, however, mask make group meetings possible and the numbers are down in the last few weeks. If no one has symptoms and all wear mask, it should be workable. However, the choice is theirs in the end. That is the unfortunate thing. You just have to make sure you do not pull yourself down because of someone elses bad life choices. Do something positive for yourself is most important.
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