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Please Help Me For My Son

Posts: 1
Joined: May 14, 2020

Posted: May 14, 2020, 10:28 AM
Hi.. just found this forum. My 25 yo son lives with his dad 45 mins from me. He has been going offline out of reach for 15 hours. I am beside myself. He uses heroin. I am so scared. What do I do? His father who he lives with enables him.

Posts: 21256
Joined: October 17, 2003

Posted: May 16, 2020, 1:12 PM

We are moving your post to Families/Partners of Addicts. There are people there who can relate to your situation.

- the moderators

Posts: 21
Joined: May 4, 2020

Posted: May 16, 2020, 5:13 PM
I would try and get him into rehab ASAP. My husband recently went offline for 3 hours and then finally came home and overdosed within minutes of arriving home. If he didn't come home , he could have died . I am not saying this is what will happen to your son, but he needs help and his father needs to stop enabling him as it will not get better only worse.

I wish you and your family the very best and I hope he gets the help he needs.

Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016

Posted: May 16, 2020, 7:00 PM
my son has gone to rehab about 4 times in the past 6-7 years. First it was expensive insurance paid, then we paid, then we let the state pay (Medicaid). He learned the most from the state and local hospital based programs. he was also older so a bit of maturity helps. he is 30yrs old.

we, like most others, enabled big time and small time. we always did so with good intensions. just to get him back on his feet, able to get to a job. he always worked. always needed a car.

From our experience the ONLY time he asked for help was when he had NOTHING left. a year of our begging, crying, concern, enabling, bribing, warning, did NOTHING to make him stop using.

ONLY when he had no car, no gf, no job, no home, did he ask for help and still was resistant to recovery program.

at this point he no longer lives with us, was in jail last year for 4 months, then a rehab, then a shelter, now a homeless hotel, part time job. lives about 2 hrs away.
he is slowly trying to become independent. It has been a year.

recovery takes a long time.

Posts: 209
Joined: November 10, 2019

Posted: May 18, 2020, 10:22 PM
My daughter does the same. She falls off the radar and then when there is some sort of crisis, she communicates really well. Then, she'll drop off the radar again, sometimes for weeks. It seems to be a cycle of some sort and it used to wear me out and trigger my anxiety. Now I know, it's part of her addiction. I can tell her brain is getting more and more damaged. It's so sad. 😢
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