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Husband Is Addicted And I Want Out

Posts: 1
Joined: December 2, 2019

Posted: December 2, 2019, 8:14 PM
help. I don't have anyone to talk to but I cant take this pain anymore

Posts: 21257
Joined: October 17, 2003

Posted: December 3, 2019, 8:39 AM

We are moving your post to the Families/Partners of Addicts, where there are people who know what you are going through.

- the moderators

Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018

Posted: December 3, 2019, 11:54 AM
Welcome to this message board, it is very helpful to vent here. We are all on the same path as parents & partners. Everyone here is so helpful & understanding.

There is nothing wrong with same ENOUGH!! You can't fix others. You can give all the money you have to "help", pay bills, support decisions, give "one more chance" & feel like "I think he is serious this time" but the decision is 100% his. Addicts will lie, steal, cheat, manipulate, coerce & take you on a roller coaster ride that will drop you to the depths of despair & make you think YOU are the one with the problem. They will convince you that they are trying to stop or they aren't using as much.

Bottom line - you have to protect yourself. The addict will take everything you have. You will know in your heart what is happening but question your own thoughts & decisions because you want to believe them so much.

Take your time & plan your move. If he is aggressive & abusive, call the police & get a restraining order. Protect your bank accounts & trying to separate the accounts. Many courts have Self Help areas with Paralegals to assist with completing forms. Also check with Domestic Violence centers - he doesn't have to hit you to get a restraining order, threatening & being aggressive is enough. A restraining order will also get him out of the home.

Good luck & be strong for yourself!!

Posts: 368
Joined: November 16, 2017

Posted: December 3, 2019, 8:13 PM
Hi Rockstar,

I just wanted to say, "Welcome". Please share more. We have all been through it and understand. It is pure hell living with addiction. I have been here for a few years and have learned so much. I was desperate and so sad when I came here. I learned how to cope and to make the best of the situation.

Posts: 209
Joined: November 10, 2019

Posted: December 4, 2019, 1:32 AM
Hi Rockstar I completely understand why you want out. Sadly, a person with an addiction can not be in a healthy intimate relationship like marriage. There is some thing in the middle and it's their DOC and it will cause all kinds of instability in the marriage and your relationship. Its a living hell as you probably have experienced. You never feel safe, secure, respected, and it's very lonely. The rug is being pulled out over and over one signs up for this when they get married. I hope you respect and love yourself to have healthy boundaries and know what you will and won't tolerate in your life.

Posts: 10
Joined: January 4, 2020

Posted: January 5, 2020, 12:15 PM
Hi guys,

I was addicted to crystal meth, methcathione, and mandrax for about 8 years. I was abusive, cheated, violent, spent every cent i had on drugs and neglected all of my duties as a father.

Am I proud of it? Definetely not!

I did however stop drugs 4 years ago, remarried my wife, got my life back on track and recieved the help required to work on the root of the addiction. Today I am a very different person.

My point is that your husband can actually change. I was helped by a Christian international program and haven't craved drugs ever since. I have also been volunteering there, and my wife does to.

I challenge you to give them a call. If you like I am happy to refer you to the nearest center. They will also provide you the support you need as the suffering spouse.

God bless
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