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Posted: July 16, 2018, 6:42 PM
I've been with him for five years, given him every part of myself, given up my friends. And even moved to houston away from my family. In hopes that being away from temptation might be the key to his sobriety. But, that was a huge mistake. It just seems that he's digging deeper into this deadly drug. I always knew I loved this man, but, His addiction is costing me my sanity, his job, our transportation, and now, he's so incoherent he just stays in his car all day and night smoking. I had to force him to shower today after days of him being on a bender. I've yelled and begged, even threaten to leave him again. I left him once before. Because of his addiction. But, got back with him because he had been doing so well. I've gotten his mother involved, but, she is a religious women and believes that of she prays hard enough it'll just go away. Which might be true. But, no one sees the damage that he does to himself. I'm just out of options. My brother almost died from smoking this crap, so, I know what happens if he continues this way. I'm afraid that if i leave, this might be the very thing that kills him. This drug has taken everything from me. Support when my grandma was dying in a hospital, because he was too high to drive me to The hospital or even care that she was there at all. The man i love is being destroyed by third drug.
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Posted: July 17, 2018, 11:32 AM
First of all, here is a big hug. It is a tragedy and a deep grief to deal with addiction. People outside of this circle, really have no idea the toll it takes.
I hope you can leave him and find happiness. I understand the feeling of being responsible for a death or an arrest or another bad situation. But, you are not responsible, and you cannot control it. If he ODs and dies (which I really hope never happens), it would happen if you were there or not. You have to really think about his behaviors and patterns. How much are you really helping him? And, at what cost to yourself? Please keep posting and sharing...Do you have a plan to leave? |
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