post replypost new topic |
Posted: November 20, 2016, 12:11 PM
I am one week clean after 9 years of marijauna use. The degrees of use during this time varied. I have taken up to 23 days off at one point and other times it's been a week here and a week there, but it always results in me facing adversity and returning to my weed. This time is different. On November 12th, I threw everything away. All my weed and all my paraphernalia straight to the trash can and I had a good amount of good weed. I've never done that before so I'm extremely optimistic about what life will be like in the near future. I do feel extreme anxiety and depression and lots of regret for the people I hurt and/or the ones I let go. I'm 31 years old. I know I haven't peaked yet in life because this substance has been keeping me down. Relationships have been disastrous over this time. I don't even know what I felt about my partners other than the sex was good and I enjoyed the companionship. I'm pretty confused right now. I see lots of folks much younger than me that never fell into this trap and are very happy in life. I envision a day in the near future where the simple things in life will be enjoyable again. It's tough right now.
| ||
Posted: November 20, 2016, 12:44 PM
Things can become better than you can imagine if you follow the directions.
Wishing and hoping + $3.00 will get you a good cup of coffee. I can't tell you how many times I threw my Valium into the toilet only soon to be on the telephone to the Doctor/Pharmacist to lie about needing more pills because I dropped them in the toilet. My Pharmacist would look at me like the school teacher did when I told her my dog ate my homework. If you can walk away and stay away then you are blessed - DO IT ! If, in the end, you find you can't (powerless) then join me and millions of others at AA/NA/. All the best. Bob R -------------------- Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line: Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf AA's HOW IT WORKS: Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS: http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf ---------------------------------------------------------------- --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. ---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. ... I need AA more than it needs me. --- I fight recovery tooth and nail.... I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural. ...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know. ---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it. Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it. --- I didn't have a very happy childhood but I sure am having a long one ! ---Dry since 1989 working daily on getting/staying SOBER. ---If you want to drink, that's your business ...If you want to quit, that's AA's business. ... Tell me, I'll forget; ... Show me, I'll remember; ... Engage me, I'll understand. ---Most problems are psychological. Most solutions are spiritual . "If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego." --Richard Rohr WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do) | ||
Posted: November 20, 2016, 12:54 PM
Thanks for the response. I do feel confident that I can do it. I have a lot of great things in my life still. A great family and friends that DO NOT smoke. I go to the gym a lot and have always done that even before all this started. I never went to work high nor did I attend social events high so I'm not having to relearn how to do all of that. That is still normal to me. However, I'm comfortable in saying I had a mild addiction, mostly using at nights and on the weekends. It helped me sleep and helped me enjoy being in a toxic relationship that I couldn't get myself out of. That's over now, which is why I'm trying to move forward without this damaging any future relationships.
I love sports and working out, and I just bought a PS4 last week. I think I will get through this just fine. It's been a long time coming for me. | ||
Posted: November 20, 2016, 2:23 PM
I truly wish you the best.
Bob -------------------- Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line: Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf AA's HOW IT WORKS: Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS: http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf ---------------------------------------------------------------- --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. ---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. ... I need AA more than it needs me. --- I fight recovery tooth and nail.... I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural. ...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know. ---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it. Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it. --- I didn't have a very happy childhood but I sure am having a long one ! ---Dry since 1989 working daily on getting/staying SOBER. ---If you want to drink, that's your business ...If you want to quit, that's AA's business. ... Tell me, I'll forget; ... Show me, I'll remember; ... Engage me, I'll understand. ---Most problems are psychological. Most solutions are spiritual . "If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego." --Richard Rohr WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do) | ||
Posted: November 20, 2016, 4:24 PM
I am coming from family where smoking weed (not skank) is normal but me personally have problem with heroin addiction, I do smoke here and there nothing specific or regular about my smoking anyway I wanted to ask you what happened that you felt need to stop? Paranoid episode or just life passing by you while you smoke and and do not much else? .. congratulations on your throwing away weed , usually addicts wait to use whatever they have and only then try to get clean, its rare to trow away drugs..not easy thing to do! I believe you will be fine and succeed
in whatever you want to do! Regards Bonnie :) | ||
Posted: November 20, 2016, 4:27 PM
no need to tell you to keep away from those friends that smoke... be around those who are non smokers and as you said stay active as much as you can , boredom can lead to drugs so dont let get bored for now
| ||
Posted: November 20, 2016, 4:39 PM
I stopped because I started seeing the common denominator with my problems and how I would use the substance to cope with adversity in my life. Most of the adversity was from relationships. Either realizing it won't work or just facing general relationship issues. I just found myself blowing off fun things, especially over the last couple years just so I could stay home and smoke. I just don't want this to have that control over me anymore. If I could do it recreationally or socially and in a non-abusive manner, I think it's okay to do, but I simply can't control myself. It quickly goes from once a week to twice and so on. Before long, I'm back to smoking everyday. There are much worse things to do to your body, but I still want complete freedom from this.
| ||
Posted: November 20, 2016, 5:39 PM
having control over drugs is illusion we all had at one time or another. All the best as I said it looks like you know exactly what you doing :)
| ||
Posted: November 20, 2016, 6:05 PM
Completely agree. My first big milestone will be December 12th. That will be one month clean. After that point, I expect the difficult part to be over. Like I said, I have never even been clean that long in 9 years. That will be a big break through.
| ||
Posted: November 20, 2016, 7:47 PM
I will say, I feel sooooo much better after a week clean. The absolute hardest part about coming off is the complete emotional frenzy/freefall you feel during those first few days. That is also the easiest time to relapse. Get through the first week and you can really start rebuilding your life. The sweats are gone for me and my appetite is back for the most part. I now enjoy just sitting around watching netflix and talking with other people. I'm extremely lucky to have lots of good people in my life that DON'T smoke that I can surround myself with. I've also always been very active in the gym so maybe that helps the body eliminate the toxins. I would encourage everyone to exercise everyday at least a little bit. You will get better. Have a great day!
| ||
Posted: November 27, 2016, 6:05 PM
Adam how are you doing?
| ||
Posted: November 28, 2016, 10:52 AM
I'm doing great! 14 days clean now. The hardest part is by far the first 10 days. After that, you just need to make sure you have a proper support structure in place. I'm lucky to have friends/roommate that does not smoke at all so it makes things very easy in that regard. In fact, most of my friends that do smoke are not in my life anymore for other reasons. I was kind of the last one left and I was doing it to self-medicate a toxic relationship. Both are gone now and I'm feeling great. I bought some new clothes over the weekend and I've began to anticipate big things for 2017.
I will say that you must be careful when you are alone. Things can be very tempting, especially if you never learned how to be alone without weed, which is the case for me. I'm learning though. You also must be careful about convincing yourself that it wasn't that bad and that you can still smoke on the occasion if you control yourself more. Not for me. I can't smoke at all anymore. I am defenseless against it. You must be able to handle victories and defeats without the need to smoke afterwards. I used to have a mindset where if things were going very well in my life, I saw no reason not to enjoy a little smoke. Well, not anymore. No more. I do think SOME folks can enjoy this substance in moderation (no more than once a month), but I'm just not one of them. I will never forget. Have a great day all! And good luck to anyone in a similar place. |
|
post replypost new topic |