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Need Advice

Posts: 1
Joined: February 16, 2019

Posted: February 16, 2019, 6:22 PM

I've been abusing opiates for about five years now-and there is no doubt that I am an addict. I've tried rehab once before, but was forced into it and relapsed almost immediately. I'm depressed, have no friends outside of school, and am barely getting by to get my cosmetology license.
I've had pain issues since I was five years old-but it only got bad when I started self-medicating my senior year of college. Monday I have an appointment at a Suboxone clinic-but I'm more terrified than I've ever been instead of being happy at the idea of restarting my life. I've tried using Suboxone before on my own and hated it so much I relapsed within a day. I'm an artist by trade and I don't want to do art anymore. I went to a private college, had a 4.0 in high school and was supposed to do something with my life. I'm a fat, depressed, shut in of a loser under 30 and am at rock bottom-why am I so scared of this appointment?
I barely have state insurance (they charge me 500 a month and they'll drop me in March,) and I'm afraid that this isn't going to work. Because of my pain issues I think methadone might be a better choice, but I don't think anyone would believe me because of my own poor choices.
Anyway-this is a long ramble to ask for advice on what to say, how to say it, and maybe some rallying. I can't do inpatient due to insurance and the fact that if I get kicked out of school I will literally have nothing left. I want to be me again- but I'm so afraid the non loser I used to be is gone.
Thanks in advance

Posts: 3
Joined: February 16, 2019

Posted: February 16, 2019, 9:22 PM
Please don't use methadone. That stuff is bad..ruins your bones teeth etc...sub much will help you not crave the opiates it worked for me..your scared because you hit the end of the line. NOT!! you will get better, just listen and learn.ok my point of view, good luck..hey don't be scared ..its going to be ok.hugs
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