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Moving On.

Posts: 1
Joined: August 2, 2020

Posted: August 2, 2020, 1:34 PM
Hi there. im hoping someone out there might be able to help. Im currently recovering from heroin addiction and i feel im doing well, However I told my partner about my problem and she said she would be there to support me,Which i thought was wonderful at the time but the problem is this....I haven't used for nearly a year now and have only been taking buprenorphine and fighting to stay clean but even though i have stayed clean my partner constantly calls me Junky and accuses me of using every time i leave the house. So i was wondering if anyone had any advice to help her move on coz im not going to lie, the constant accusations and arguments make it very difficult for me to stay clean some days and all it does is make me feel like a failiure. i know how hard ive fought to stay off the gear and all she does is throw it in my face. i understand getting mixed up with drugs is a massive mistake to make and i do understand that this has possibly been as difficult for her as it has for me but unless its left in the past niether of us can move on so im hoping beyond hope that someone, anyone can help. Thank you. D

Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016

Posted: August 3, 2020, 10:56 PM
Let her know that her comments bother you and ask her to stop making the comments. You state it causes arguments. A way to gain trust on on both sides is thru transparency and open communication. It could be that you were both used to behaving and reacting in a certain pattern. For the past year you have been trying to change. Maybe the two of you have come to a point of being stuck. maybe you both need to learn a new way to communicate.

Suggest - separate and together meetings or counciling. What ever you can find to start with. Maybe online meetings thru smart recovery or step chat.

Unfortunately, if one partner is changing and the other isn’t or is resistant, you may need to make another decision. It could be that she thinks she is helping and does not know she is hurting u.

After talkIng and counciling, try to find new hobbies together that can take the focus off of the negatives and give you both something positive to talk about. Maybe she is resentful or feeling sad if she is alone a lot and you are out of the house a lot.

Posts: 271
Joined: June 27, 2015

Posted: August 18, 2020, 1:49 PM
I say tell her how you feel and if she doesn't stop then say goodbye to her. She shouldn't bash you like that. I'm sure she has skeletons in her own closet and I'm sure she wouldn't like you tareing her down so maliciously. So why is it okay for her to do you like that. I say leave her before you accidentally slip. If she doesn't stop of course.!

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