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Posted: February 15, 2014, 8:34 PM
hi
i did not really like the NA program for personal reasons I tried to but i cannot seem to like it or engage in it and give it a lifetime commitiment anyway is there any other way to be clean please help thanks | ||
Posts: 433
Joined: December 14, 2009
Posted: February 17, 2014, 7:05 PM
Glad to see you posting, although you don't give much background information. Certainly there are many programs available and many techniques you could use. I suppose it all depends on you and your addiction. perhaps if you would care to expand on your situation some one could offer you some ideas.
be well, Larry -------------------- All gods send their drunks to AA My story.. https://www.addictionrecoveryguide.o...ST&f=16&t=63644 
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Posted: February 18, 2014, 11:09 PM
my addiction is addiction
i am an addict But if you wish to know, my DOC is cocaine i just want to get on and live my life i don't want a lifetime commitment with anything I understand that i cannot have not one drink or any other substance that uks my brain | ||
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Posts: 433
Joined: December 14, 2009
Posted: February 23, 2014, 10:37 AM
well, I think a lifetime commitment to something is a good idea. Be it good health, happiness or staying out of jail. i know these have certainly helped my situation, but then again I used to smoke crack.
Be well, Larry -------------------- All gods send their drunks to AA My story.. https://www.addictionrecoveryguide.o...ST&f=16&t=63644
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Posts: 49
Joined: February 7, 2013
Posted: March 2, 2015, 1:27 AM
I too have had bad experiences with NA. Churches are just as bad. This website has been more help to me than either, and its truly anonymous. Like confused turtle I struggle with commitments, but i have to tackle things one day at a time. can't go fast forward. I got too much riding on my success. Can't succeed being on dope. the few people that love me deserve better. Me, well, my body wants and craves the high. My mind and will ain't strong enough over time. Everyone that relapsed over long periods of time admit they let go of God's hand and thought they had it under control.
Me, I never let go, but I had the gall to try to bargain with him. I can't keep walking on the edge of the cliff like this. From what i've seen, this disease doesn't go away. But in reality, everyone is a damn addict. Ours is drugs, others its something else. I have many other issues than drug use and drinking. but the drugs is the one that will land me in jail, and would probably hurt my loved ones the most if my secret got out. SMH. I'm addicted to pleasure. But what's pleasing to me is slowly killing me and taking away from the ones I love. -------------------- All this happened for the sole purpose to help others fight this thing with all we got. | ||
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Posted: March 5, 2015, 9:05 AM
Scdad
I to love the pleasure but at the same time I used to escape from reality. Not being comfortable in my own skin. Not feeling loved as a child. I believe most addicts use as an escape from reality rather than dealing with issues that were trying to run from at least that is how it is for me. | ||
Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011
Posted: March 5, 2015, 9:53 AM
For me, NA & AA were "the last house on the street".
I knew I was "different" when I was 15 yrs old and I came to AA/NA at 45 yrs old.. hopeless, helpless and depressingly suicidal. I thought the light of life had been extinguished. In the years between 15-45 I tried many drinks/drugs/group therapies/psyche-wards/counsellors etc. I had periods where I thought I had it made followed by periods of hopeless anxiety. In 1989 I was sitting in the driveway of a rehab facility with a pistol to my head trying to talk myself out of ending it all. I thought "Just go in and see what they have to say... you have nothing to lose. You can shoot yourself tomorrow" . That is where recovery began for me. I was introduced to a loving God and The 12 Steps. AA's HOW IT WORKS http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10..._howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf Let's get this straight. The 12 Steps are the most difficult, un-natural and painful set of suggestions that an addict/alcoholic could think of.... the 12 things to never put on a bucket list ..... BUT THEY WORK !!! If you asked me at 20 if I needed AA/NA I would have said "I don't think so" (I still thought I knew what was going on and I could fix it) If you asked me at 30 if I needed AA/NA I would have thought "I hope not" At 45 when I was ready to kill myself I said "I'll try anything" and grabbed AA/NA as best I could. There was nothing left .. I had come to the last house on the street ... NA/AA. That was in 1989 ... this is 2015 and I'm clean/sober and with my family and grandchildren. I attend meetings regularly and work my program "one day at a time". You tell me if NA/AA works. It is likely that you will have to suffer and suffer greatly to be convinced but 10-20-30 yrs from now you will be wiser, as I was. I hope you are not like me but time will tell. Millions of us AA/NA's will be there for you if you need us. I wish everyone the best. Bob R -------------------- Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line: Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf AA's HOW IT WORKS: Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS: http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf ---------------------------------------------------------------- --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. ---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. ... I need AA more than it needs me. --- I fight recovery tooth and nail.... I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural. ...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know. ---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it. Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it. --- I didn't have a very happy childhood but I sure am having a long one ! ---Dry since 1989 working daily on getting/staying SOBER. ---If you want to drink, that's your business ...If you want to quit, that's AA's business. ... Tell me, I'll forget; ... Show me, I'll remember; ... Engage me, I'll understand. ---Most problems are psychological. Most solutions are spiritual . "If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego." --Richard Rohr WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do) | ||
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Posted: March 5, 2015, 10:08 AM
Very well put papa bear!!!
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Posted: March 17, 2015, 3:59 AM
Maybe I can shed some light. I am a recovering addict of 30 yrs. After my first attempt at recovery I came home renewed and optimistic. There were some things that had changed, yes I was free and found peace of mind. But then there were things in my life that hadn't changed that I didn't or couldn't recognize. Soon I found myself using again to cope with long hours of work. In a matter of a few weeks I found myself using a 1/2 oz. of cocaine every 4 or 5 days allover again.
A second shot at sobriety after thirty years needed to be different. I thought to myself how could I forget all the wreckage of the past, the dysfunction, the pain. I just couldn't believe I was in this state of mind and had allowed myself to risk everything again. Why did I forget, damn, why did I forget? I thought I was fine. After a couple of months I essentially put my recovery on the shelf and forgot about it. If I really understood this thing they call addiction I would know it's about how to manage this terrible disease and learning to experience a quality recovery. This time I vowed it to be different. After coming home from treatment I began to immerse myself in creating a foundation for myself through God and his forgiveness. when I realized the guilt and remorse of the past only served to feed the pain, I was able to rid of it quickly. Addiction feeds off of pain and remorse, it's part of the cycle of addiction. My wife's trust was gone and I had to rebuild my life. I had to rely on a great deal of conviction to get to this new way of life and I was scared to death. While in treatment I was criticized by a counselor for what he called "not being willing to go to any extent" in my recovery when I suggested I may not be able to attend 90 meetings in 90 days. My situation is different I said, I live in the middle of nowhere, have an enormous amount of responsibility and would need to drive 90 miles to make 90 meetings in 90 days and that's just too many 90's for me! I spent the next 18 months learning about how to manage my disease. I journaled and I dug until I got to the bottom of myself and really went through the exercise understanding all aspects of how to do a better job of taking care of myself spiritually, emotionally and physically. I created of personal, proactive and protective program for myself through information seeking. I attended a relapse prevention program for months. There are those however that may not need to get to the bottom of some deep emotional past, they simply danced on the trap door and fell through, but this I know, it requires attention to rid of unsavory character flaws and sick thinking we develop along the way when we actively use. At the end of it all I find my addiction ended up being a blessing and not the curse I was sure I lived. I discovered more ways imaginable to become a better person through it all. So for me it became about the knowledge I picked up. Learning to recognize when I'm at risk for picking up. Knowing that picking up is the last phase of relapse not the first. Understanding the difference between abstinence and recovery. Knowing the difference between criticism by others and abuse. Learning to become assertive. Understanding how my thinking feeds my addiction if it's off center. Developing ways of healthy thinking, not ways that are irrational and distorted If I wasn't willing to go to any extent to learn about the very thing that had the biggest impact on myself besides breathing then I guess I figure I'm right back where I began. My first attempt at recovery was simply trying too "just quit" because it required the least amount of effort and I could forget about all the pain and begin to live my life. When I stopped viewing my recovery as an inconvenience and started looking at it as opportunity then things got better. That was my biggest mistake and I had to learn to change the way I think. If I don't than my addiction will do it for me. I found I had to out smart this cunning and deceptive SOB. For me was way less work than dying allover again. So to answer your question is NA the only way? Not for me, but it may be the most important way until you can find some traction to live a quality life. If you're unsure just keep digging, the rewards may there through perseverance. I found if I worked half as hard at my recovery as I did while using I really got somewhere. I found that if I really went after the very thing that was to keep me alive I had to pursue it with a vengeance. It just depends on how bad you really want something, how bad you want to live. | ||
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Posted: March 21, 2015, 3:42 PM
Thanks carman,summed up what i am thinking and hoping for the future.40 days clean and loving it.At 45 i have a lifetime of experiences to call upon and i too am strangely grateful.Especially to cocaine as it provided a fast track to recovery.Having used periodically for years, in the last 4 it became regular and started to destroy me,in many ways.
I did crack 25 yrs ago for a few months and realised it was a fast highway to hell.I also avoided the horses but powder and fruit machines were "ok".Although i could drink 20 beers and 20 shots,booze was never a "problem" I am starting the steps on Monday and i am looking forward to taking myself apart and rebuilding. Is there another way?I too felt the AA CA GA etc wasn't for me.I found excuses,reasons it wasn't right.Pushy people,egos and things i didn't agree with.Well i am sure its not perfect and neither are its members.Its not about them,its about me and my addictions.Its about putting my recovery first and ignoring the niggling worries and objections. My advice would be to analyse your objections,then ignore them and get to a meeting and then another and another.If i hadn't gone to more meetings i might not of got over my own objections.You also know the alternative.Lack of money,waste of money,poor health,poor relationships,destructive thoughts,painful soul taking come downs................or you can deal with the objections.Its a no brainer but as we know,our brains are not in the right place so get to a meeting and start getting it there. Love to all of you that have recovered and may God Bless you and all of those that need his blessings the most. Never been so happy after such a short time.............in for the long haul and remember ...................Denial........................aint only a river in Egypt. | ||
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Posted: March 25, 2015, 5:05 AM
Hi, I used to use cocaine when I went out with friends but I lost my mum and for the last year I have been using every 3 - 4 days, 2 grams. My nose inside feels horrendous and I'm scared about the damage I have done to myself but I still can't seem to stop?? I don't know what's happened to me. I hate myself for being an addict
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Posted: March 25, 2015, 11:11 AM
Hey Becca,
I would suggest professional help and/or na meetings | ||
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Posted: March 26, 2015, 7:34 AM
I have been to the meetings but I just don't seem to be getting it ?? I'm so angry with myself and my mum for taking her life
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Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011
Posted: March 26, 2015, 8:36 AM
Becca:
It takes us a while to "get it" but we will get it if we continue to commit to NA/AA. Please get a home group where you feel comfortable and get a good sponsor. Get active. It's easy to go to meetings when we "feel" the progress. It is scary to continue to go when we don't feel that it is working .. but it is working. Have faith. Find a good lady at the meetings that has some clean time and is working her program. Begin to tell her your fears, your guilts, your true feelings. You are going to be OK if you continue on in NA, you just don't see it right now. I wish you the best. Bob R -------------------- Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line: Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf AA's HOW IT WORKS: Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS: http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf ---------------------------------------------------------------- --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. ---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. ... I need AA more than it needs me. --- I fight recovery tooth and nail.... I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural. ...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know. ---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it. Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it. --- I didn't have a very happy childhood but I sure am having a long one ! ---Dry since 1989 working daily on getting/staying SOBER. ---If you want to drink, that's your business ...If you want to quit, that's AA's business. ... Tell me, I'll forget; ... Show me, I'll remember; ... Engage me, I'll understand. ---Most problems are psychological. Most solutions are spiritual . "If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego." --Richard Rohr WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do) | ||
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Posted: March 26, 2015, 9:06 PM
I just read a post about smoking crack. I couldn't have said it better myself. Everything I've been feeling she said it in a "nutshell". I have been smoking crack for 10 years now. I've lost 2 children because of it, they will be 13 and 12 this year. I haven't seen them in 10 years. I always think of them literally everyday. I dunked myself into my addition on top of drinking and taking pills. I went all the way down for a while after that. I just knew that would be my turning point, it wasn't. I pray about it alot . You'd think I would be totally done with it but it just don't work that way for some of us. JEHOVAH KNOWS MY HEART AND KNOW I'M DONE DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE. I'm 33 years old. I'll be 34 in May. I'm stuck in my 20's mentally it's so messed up. I NEED HELP AND SUPPORT! I DONT HAVE NO ONE THAT WILL BE HERE/THERE FOR ME. IM ALL ALONE IN THIS FIGHT. AS MUCH FAMILY AS I HAVE YOU'D THINK I'D HAVE SOMEONE TO TURN TO. OUR FAMILY LOVES TO SEE SOMEONE DOWN ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE IN A BETTER SITUATION THEN THEY ARE. I'M LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES
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Posted: March 27, 2015, 9:58 PM
Hey Indra Brown,
I can relate to a lot of what your saying. I am 33yrs. old as well. I have about 4 months abstinence from crack. I've been a user for I think around 12 yrs. I would suggest NA and or professional therapy. U have to want to stop bottom line!! | ||
Posts: 1059
Joined: August 29, 2011
Posted: March 31, 2015, 10:56 PM
To those who question NA or AA's ability to help you.....
If we put as much thought, time and energy into trying to learn how to get and stay clean as we have put into finding, scoring and picking up our drugs of choice we could be clean and/or sober in no time at all. Why do you keep waiting and hoping that no more bad things will happen to you? Or what it does to your family & friends? Because if you don't get the help you need now and realize that drug and alcohol addiction is killing you. Just know it can and will eventually kill you. When your time to seek help is here you may not even be alive to realize it because, for you, help may finally have arrived too late. Get a grip now and reach your hand out for help. You can do this. granny -------------------- I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH LOVE MY HEART COULD HOLD UNTIL SOMEONE CALLED ME GRANDMA. STOP AND LISTEN TO THE BIRDS SINGING IN THE TREES. WHEN THE BIRDS ARE SINGING EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS OK.[FONT=Courier][FONT=Arial] | ||
Posts: 11
Joined: September 25, 2014
Posted: March 31, 2015, 11:33 PM
Try Smart Recovery...cross talk, education, and led by therapist. I did not fit in with NA or aa either but smart saved my life.
This post has been edited by No control on April 1, 2015, 2:04 AM | ||
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Posted: April 26, 2015, 6:01 PM
Becca.
I couldn't get passed step 1 so don't be too disheartened about it.Try Smart Recovery or a therapist.I am doing both and have not used for 80 days.I am sure the 12 steps is great for some.....but not for others. Prayer for me is the key,combined with practical help and awareness of triggers and temptations.Cut out the friends and places,change the places you go and the people you meet. I have changed my diet,i go to the gym.I am changing myself inside and out.Painting classes and other new hobbies........out with the old and in with the new. Good luck,pray for help and listen. God bless you. | ||
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Posted: April 26, 2015, 6:16 PM
Thanks Carmen.
After 80 days your words have helped me tremendously.......again.Beautifully put and ever evolving.I will pop back for another read at 120 days for my next elevation.......lol. | ||
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