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Cause A Blog Like This Is What I Needed. Days 8-9


Posts: 681
Joined: June 8, 2015


Posted: June 21, 2015, 4:53 AM
yeah 20 days, 3 weeks tomorrow. It's a good feeling, knowing that I made it outta shawshank you know? hahaha yeah fanning your tears so your makeup don't run haha. For me, once I started yawning, then comes the tears and then the runny nose, and it can go on for hours if you don't snap out of it.

I'm trying to hit the treadmill and weights, and play my guitar whenever I hit a wall. Whatever it takes to shake it off. But it is so much easier now than it was say, a week ago. I feel like I just clawed my way out of the grave, or nah I like my last one better, made it outta shawshank!

It's been good to write it all though, whatever is happening at the time, whether people read or not (they do). On my thread sometimes I was straight up just freaking out, but by the time I managed to lay it all down it kind of passed. But yeah, bustin outta shawshank b******!

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'considerate people don't trash bars'
Jost Sauer - Rebels Guide to Recovery
Kevin






Posted: June 21, 2015, 3:46 PM
Man I wish I could play guitar! Chicks dig it!! Haha. I don't need anymore women problems. Have enough of that already. Haha. It's day 13. Cleaned my basement today. It looks and smells awesome. I've got two dogs down there go during the day. So it gets hairy and smelly. Gross. But lookin good now. Productive day. I feel I got it licked. Pretty tired come3:00 most days though. Gotta learn to take breaks. Sometimes I go so hard I kill myself. It's my over-do-it personality I guess. Happy Father's Day to all. And you brother, congrats on the 3 weeks. Awesome.


Posts: 681
Joined: June 8, 2015


Posted: June 21, 2015, 5:27 PM
Yeah, dreads and guitar. They either really love you, or hate you like poison mang haha. You just inspired me to push harder today. It's 7am and I have a never ending pile of log rounds to split. I hope this is the time it sticks. For both of us. I don't feel like I would ever go back but I been wrong before you know. I'm not having any doubts, I feel too alive and awake to ever want to go numb again. Just thinking you know?

I'll say it again mang, you're a gun. Day 13 cleaning out the basement? who are you! hahaha
around day 13 for me I was losing it. I feel good today though, I feel strong. Anyway, Happy Father's Day mang, in Australia it's not till September but I appreciate it all the same. I hope you charge around doing dynamic s*** and feeling awesome. Some people would rather die than face withdrawal, and it's like you just bowled up and back handed it across the room! hahaha

Stay crazy and excellent.

--------------------
'considerate people don't trash bars'
Jost Sauer - Rebels Guide to Recovery
Kevin






Posted: June 21, 2015, 11:17 PM
Austraiia. Very cool. Half way round the world. I'm USA.

I'm beat!! Prob won't sleep but laying in bed is still nice. Day 13 closing up. Longest ever, wonder why I waited so long. Prob had to be this way I guess.


Posts: 681
Joined: June 8, 2015


Posted: June 22, 2015, 3:42 AM
Are you north or South?

--------------------
'considerate people don't trash bars'
Jost Sauer - Rebels Guide to Recovery
Kevin






Posted: June 22, 2015, 9:40 PM
North........Ohio!!

Throw another shrimp on the Barbie! Right mate? Lol. Just kiddin.

Day 14s closing up already. It was nothin. I did however grab my bag and unzip the front where I used to keep my suboxone. It was like I was grabbing for one. It only lasted a second. Shook it off.



Posts: 681
Joined: June 8, 2015


Posted: June 22, 2015, 10:35 PM
ohhh say can you seeeeee! hahaaa. we call em prawns by the way. You know we used to call you guys seppo's? as in septic tank, yank. Bloody seppo's hahaha. Anyway yeah I had someone come over high the other night and nearly asked for some but caught myself.

It's automatic sometimes. It's like, you say to yourself, right I'm not gonna take anything anymore, and your mind goes, yes you are, and you go yes I am, wait! no! dammit. It's a bit of a mind f***

--------------------
'considerate people don't trash bars'
Jost Sauer - Rebels Guide to Recovery


Posts: 681
Joined: June 8, 2015


Posted: June 23, 2015, 7:18 AM
http://youtu.be/qiAIws1-tKQ

--------------------
'considerate people don't trash bars'
Jost Sauer - Rebels Guide to Recovery
Kevin






Posted: June 23, 2015, 10:21 PM
I like it! Very chill.

F@cking septic tank? Dam. Lol.

I'm good with this. 2 weeks. 14 days. Clean of opiates and suboxone. Pretty crazy to think about but it's a done deal. I lost my voice for like 7 days. It was real raspy and sh!t. Sounded kinda cool when I laughed.

Brother, we're worlds apart but I'm glad to have ya!! My brother from the down under!


Posts: 57
Joined: November 26, 2014


Posted: June 24, 2015, 9:34 AM
Kevin, I am on suboxone too and have already been tapering down slowly for months to minimize the w/d symptoms when i feel ready to completely get off, but that wont be for about a year, when im down to .50mg or .25mg a day, im at 8mgs a day, but you have to taper slowly or you will just be setting yourself up for failure. I dont want to set myself up for failure, I already made that mistake when I tapered slowly off of methadone. But I feel like now i know what not to do ya know, I have been doing a lot of research online and how other people have done it and talked to a lot of nurses at the clinic, they seem to know more than the doctors honestly lol. And the half life of suboxone is so long im sure your going to be feeling like crap for awhile :/ You should have got down wayyy lower before you decided to completely jump off!:(

Im glad you feel so confident that you can still smoke weed and not have any urge to go further and do any harder drugs, just be careful because last time i got clean i used to feel that way and then i was smoking all day every day then i got some percs then it was back to heroin and it turned into a full blown relapse and i hated myself for it. NA has taught me we are not that unique lol we have a lot more in common than not, but i really hope it is not that way for you. But I feel like now I know what NOT to do ya know, all my screw ups have made me that much stronger and I actually have a sponsor now, im working my steps, i go to NA meetings at least 2 times a week and i actually like going.

I cant believe you text your suboxone doctor and that he meets you in the parking lot and takes your cash on the spot for scripts?! what kind of dr is this!!! lol and that is addict behavior right there if u ask me but what do i know.. you said you were on 3.5 films per day! that is insane. and you said you were on it for 5 years and you never once tried to lower your dose?? i only ask because it seems like your blaming this all on the doctors. i posted not to put you down but because i want to help other addicts, i wish someone wouldve tried to help me.. I think you should check out an NA meeting they have really taught me a lot about myself and you meet so many people who are just like you and nobody judges you at all. I know that I dont know you but I promise that this is coming from a caring place and I really wish you the best and I hope you start to feel better soon
Kevin






Posted: June 24, 2015, 11:36 PM
Hi Jess, thanks for the post. I agree with a lot of your thoughts. but I've always been a loaner and groups just aren't for me. I can do this with support of friends and family. The whole weed thing is obviously a slippery slope but I hear it helps with the withdrawal and it does. Helps with sleep, restless leg and nerves. I don't blame the doctors for my addiction. I blame them for feeding it. For never setting out a plan for me. That's why I took matters into my own hands. Like the old saying goes "if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself." I feel fine. I'm not feeling crappy. I've had a couple rough days but my mood is better than ever, energy is awesome for the first 10 hours then a little run down....... And stupid sneezes!!!! But that's it. I started this post because I needed something to help me focus on getting off suboxone and it helped tremendously. I suggest blogging your progress when you attempts it. But I wouldn't wait a year. Do it now!! Anyway, thanks for you care and concern, thanks for your wisdom and experience. I'll gladly read your words every time you write them. Day 15 I think. I'm almost losing track.


Posts: 681
Joined: June 8, 2015


Posted: June 25, 2015, 1:36 PM
Good to know you're handling it like a boss man. Just make sure you're prepared for some ups and downs. I mean it may well all be smooth sailing, you've definately got your mind right. I'm only saying that coz last time I did this, I had it all bailed up by day 10 so I was off. Catching up with friends and doing s*** all the time, and without even seeing it happen BAM! I was in the s*** again.

I think because I was so supremely confident after smashing the cold turkey, I just didn't think drugs could hurt me anymore. Anyway blah blah you get the picture. You're a good egg mang, I can tell from all the way down here. It's good to have you too mang and congrats on the two weeks yesterday. Stay gold pony boy ha

--------------------
'considerate people don't trash bars'
Jost Sauer - Rebels Guide to Recovery
itfeelsgreat






Posted: June 25, 2015, 3:53 PM
HEY, just wanted to let you guys know its day thirty-four for me, and I'll tell ya I have heard horror stories about comin off suboxone and I have come.to the conclusion its all about your approach and you both sound like your doin it right. I still have bad days where I don't feel good or am just lethargic as hell and don't wanna move but I'm good..I am so good, I'm clean I haven't been able to say that for years. It feels godly, like I did it. I jumped from 2mgs on may 21st and yea the beginning was hell like day 1-4 was awful felt better days 5-6 then days seven eight nine where the most absolute living hell there was and from day ten eleven its been up and down but very manageable. I can't express how good it feels and that's what in love about blogs because you guys know how good it feels I don't have to try to find the words to express how...
.just godly it feels to finally be free. Stay strong guys, if you have any questions ask and I can answer. So happy for both of you welcome back to your life.


Posts: 681
Joined: June 8, 2015


Posted: June 25, 2015, 4:20 PM
I know! it feels so awesome being alive and animated in conversation and your mind working like computer and feeling music right in your chest and that haha, yep I'm with you. Well done on 34 days. I jumped off 140mg of methadone on June 1st so, ups and downs, but the worst is over.

--------------------
'considerate people don't trash bars'
Jost Sauer - Rebels Guide to Recovery


Posts: 6
Joined: June 25, 2015


Posted: June 25, 2015, 7:20 PM
Dang is that a high dose for methadone never used that went on subs and honestly wish I didnt . just be ready man I'm sure you are but there are those day I wake up even over a month into it feeling not so great I blame that on the subs its half life and ability to dig it's claws into you and not let go is insane. And Kevin I completely agree with you the docs are dealers and the pharmas are suppliers down right criminals that have no interest in getting you better when I told my doc I jumped (ten days after I jumped) he pushed hard to put me back on it telling me I hadn't Even hit the worst of it yet and that the paws would surely send me.to a relapse it was at that point I told him what I thought of him and walked out they didn't even ask for a urine sample just took my (the addicts) word for it that I was clean. All it takes is eight hours to be certified to prescribe that crap its bad news and doctors are giving it a bad rep and prescribing it the wrong way. I'm 25 and am GOING to be an addiction specialist and I'm gonna help people like us the right way I have never felt so passionate about anything I didn't even know that level of determination was real honestly I thank god for my addiction and the things the recovery has taught me I wouldn't know this insatiable drive existed without it I had nothing to compare it to. For everyshade of blue there is a touch of grey with no wrong we wouldn't recognize right


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Joined: June 25, 2015


Posted: June 25, 2015, 7:49 PM
And blessedjess, the dynamics of your addiction are different than kevins and Kevin's are different than mine and mine are different than our Aussie friend. Do what works for you. I've been told if i had tapered lower than the 2-3 mg a day I was taking the wds wouldn't have been as bad as they were but for me there was no other way, I made a decision and that was that I said "this is the last sub I will ever take” and it was, just like that. If you feel like you need to taper to a very low dose and then jump then do that but do it fast and at your final dose (no matter the duration of your taper) stay there for a month and a half and stabilize there it will shorten the detox process, trust me I'm not a doctor so take it for what its worth I have a lot of experience with suboxone and understand it very well probly better than most MDs that can prescribe it no amount of scholastic learning can trump my years of hard Knox education plus as I've said I'm going to be a addiction specialist I've read a lot more than I can tell you. Also Google "tomas's recipie" it has a list of stuff that will help you emensely during your acute withdrawal and even later on your journey to recovery. Good luck to everyone I am glad I found this lol I will.post my detox journal later on just to share my experience.
Kevin






Posted: June 26, 2015, 12:05 AM
Wow a doctor? Detoxing from suboxone? Day 34 right on!!

I had one of those days today. Lethargic, sore, tired, no motivation. I was off work luckily but had things I should have accomplished. Doesn't mean I'm grabbing for the "stuff" either. Gonna sleep soon and hope for a better day tomorrow. Or make tomorrow a better day.

Day 16 sucked. Lol. Can't wait till 34 or 340 either way it's good. It is recovery I guess. I sneezed a thousand times today. Dang!!! My voice is pretty normal. Laughter totally present. Laughed my head off at some children's programming with my girls today. So fun to laugh!!

I'm ready for the long haul. I have a cousin who used then went to suboxone then got off. She said seriously like 90 days. It's all good. 90 days is not really a big deal when put in perspective of your whole life. I hope to implement this into other facets of my life like 90 days of exercise or 90 days of some good diet. 90 days of no nicotine or red bull lol. Love red bull. I'll worry about these 90 days first though....Goodnight all. Glad you're here.


Posts: 6
Joined: June 25, 2015


Posted: June 26, 2015, 1:06 AM
Hahaha no not a doctor...not yet, but indeed I will be. Its no doubt I want to be a drug counsler, and to go full MD with a specialty is a long road indeed but I feel like its why I'm alive just got a nack and passion for it, and really if we can get off subs cold turkey....we can do anything. Day 16 that was when I was thinking I should have been feeling better and was getting kinda tired of it but you know how it is. you have an awesome mind set for this, and yea your right 90 days it's been coined the 100 day hangover and its pretty true the hangover reference that is. And don't let the paws thing get to you honestly you prolly won't even notice them. A true case of paws is not so common, yea your gonna feel depressed and lethargic but it really intermittent even for me at this point so I don't see it getting worse down the road and its to expected I mean your brain chemistry is rebalancing and findong normalcy again. Any way I'm glad I found this its nice to know I'm not the only one notta Lotta support around me just had to do it. Have a good night all


Posts: 681
Joined: June 8, 2015


Posted: June 26, 2015, 4:55 AM
yep I'm still sneezing like a machine gun, fits of like 4-6 sneezes countless times a day. Fricken nuts!

--------------------
'considerate people don't trash bars'
Jost Sauer - Rebels Guide to Recovery


Posts: 57
Joined: November 26, 2014


Posted: July 6, 2015, 10:07 AM
Congrats everyone keep it up:) , and yes its not the same for everyone I get that. and itfeelsgreat about the Thomas recipe I don't agree with taking Xanax to ease withdrawl symptoms, that is the whole reason why I made a treatment plan with my prescribing doctor at the rehab center to taper slowly, so I could have minimal symptoms later on when im at a low enough dose. Xanax + me = BAD... always. I looked at the Thomas recipe before and when I saw that It had Xanax in it I didn't agree with it for me personally, Xanax was always REALLY BAD NEWS for me.. it was always my drug of choice, anytime I could get my hands on it I would get way too much and do way too much and black out and do stupid s***. Just so happens that where im from its like impossible to find, luckily for me because it is my worst enemy. I know you can just take the benzo out of the recipe and just take the vitamins or whatnot but that was my plan anyways. All im going to take when I get off suboxone is vitamins. Smoking weed even is a no-no for me now. I made that mistake in the past trying to stay clean. I know some people think they can do it occasionally and still be successful in their recovery, or maybe that is how they want their recovery to be, but I already relapsed twice a few years back and I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure that I don't relapse ever again.

For me, Even smoking weed is always gonna lead back to heroin. So I couldn't just take a few benzos while detoxing, that's just not an option for me. And I just don't think that's something someone should be doing if they really want to stay clean. I plan to be on a low enough dose such as .25 that I wont be too entirely miserable for too long. But hey what do I know, right? Anyways, I just wanted to state my opinion.

This post has been edited by BlessedJess91 on July 6, 2015, 10:40 AM
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