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Where Do You Draw The Line
pirate


Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008


Posted: July 18, 2013, 7:07 AM
This past week has been one of some anxiety and confusion .. A family member was visiting , one who in the past have hurt me and my daughter with a choice she made. I did not want to go and see her... I debated about this in my mind because I felt it would cause tension in the family . I also debated about my decision from the Christan point of view..forgive others as you want to be forgiven etc etc... love one another... .. I have come to the conclusion tho that I have to love myself too.. I have spent the last 3 years trying to gain some selfworth, self respect and learning that I DO MATTER.. my feelings do matter and to disregard the way I feel is lying not only to those around me but also to myself...I did that all my life, a people pleaser, putting myself last,I got tired of being walked on. I don't think that is what God had in mind when he asks us to forgive....To me forgiveness means to let go .. I have no authority to judge, I dont think I have the authority to forgive another for their sins. that is God's place..I can let go and not add to the strife ,I can let go and not seek revenge..I can have respect for her by keeping my distance we are told in AA to leave behind people places and things that are a threat to our recovery... we are told to detach ourselves from the poison of others. I don't know if I made the right choice morally or not.. I do know by my not going to see her I protected myself emotionally and I protected my sobriety..DO I have a resentment toward her? I guess I do but she turned her back on my daughter and me when we needed her support... if she had tried to make amends for that I would have accepted but as it says in the big book we don't crawl.so where do we draw the line? ......MY God looks at the WHY of the sin. My God loves me unconditionally I believe he understands my decision and he forgive me ..that is If I need forgiveness for my decision.

This post has been edited by pirate on July 18, 2013, 7:18 AM

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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
skg


Posts: 4174
Joined: July 18, 2006


Posted: July 18, 2013, 9:36 AM
You mean, THE GOD LINE? I don't get to draw it.

QUOTE
“It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile.  But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave.  We found that it is fatal.  For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit.  The insanity of alcohol returns, and we drink again.  And with us, to drink is to die. 
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger.  The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us.  They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these are poison.”  PP 66, Alcoholics Anonymous
QUOTE
“He said, in effect:  ‘If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free.  If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given them, you will be free.  Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free.  Even when you don’t really want it for them and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway.  Do it every day for two weeks, and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now fee compassionate understanding and love.”  PP 552, “Freedom From Bondage,” Alcoholics Anonymous
Acceptance doesn’t mean approval. It means recognizing the situation and moving beyond it. Read, “The Hiding Place,” by Corrie Ten Boom, a Jewish Dutch woman who was taken into custody for helping other Jews escape Nazi Occupied Netherland—and lost everything. It’s a lesson in understanding that forgiveness is for ourselves, not the perpetrator. Read, “The Shack,” about a man who loses his daughter to a rapist/murderer and learns that God doesn’t abandon us—He is with us always.

Pray for willingness...

This post has been edited by skg on July 18, 2013, 9:38 AM

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Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.
Karraster


Posts: 430
Joined: May 5, 2012


Posted: July 19, 2013, 8:29 PM
Pirate, sounds to me like you have the right idea, made the right choice. Forgiving someone doesn't mean we gotta slober all over 'em. It doesn't even mean we have to forget, only God has the ability to do that. (Though it is a lot easier if we try to forget some things, right?)
pirate


Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008


Posted: July 21, 2013, 5:58 AM
Thank you ..

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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
Believer






Posted: August 23, 2013, 9:21 AM
When you forgive someone, it means their actions no longer have anymore power over you - they can no longer hurt you and you can move past it for YOU not for THEM. Forgiveness free's you from your inner bondage/pain but it does not mean you have to absolve them of their behavior or allow them the opportunity to hurt you again - it doesn't say anywhere in the Bible to forgive and become BFFs again. God wants us to forgive so WE can move on with our lives and stop living with the internal pain and suffering. But He does not expect more out of you than you are capable of and He would never want you to put yourself in a position or situtation that you could get hurt again.
 4 replies since July 18, 2013, 7:07 AM


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