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Posted: October 13, 2016, 11:17 PM
Hi I am a first time poster and just don't know what to do. My 26 year old daughter is addicted to meth and is in a bad relationship (which she was in before) but she messages all the time for money and I have started saying no which makes them angry and I get called all kinds of names for but tonight after the name calling came the threats to burn our garage and truck down. I am raising her 2 children and my house is about a foot away from the garage so it scares me. My daughter not on drugs would never do this but on this I have no idea what they are capable of. Does anyone have any advice?
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Posted: October 13, 2016, 11:35 PM
Yes, call the police! No one has the right to threaten you like this and you have two little children there. I've had to call the police on my own daughter before. This is a different age we live in nowadays, that's for sure! Time inside will do her the world of good because it will get her off and away from drugs long enough to maybe stay away from them. Good luck! Mary.
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Posted: October 13, 2016, 11:44 PM
Thank you so much for sharing that. I feel like the worst mother in the world right now. I am going to call and report this and hopefully they will help.
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Posted: October 14, 2016, 12:47 AM
Just to update.
I called the police and they said the only thing they can do is make a report and if I see anyone around to call 911. It bothers me is that nothing will be done. I live in the country so calling them at the time it happens won't really help. I think I am just venting and upset but I have kept this stuff in for so long that I feel like I am going to lose it. | ||
Posted: October 14, 2016, 2:19 AM
Stop answering and taking her calls. ..stop participating in the drama....get an alarm...a dog...change the locks...do what it takes to protect yourself and the kids first....find a alanon or Naranon meeting so your not alone in this...
This post has been edited by constantine on October 14, 2016, 2:21 AM | ||
Posted: October 14, 2016, 6:49 AM
I stopped answering after the messages got threatening and haven't answered since. I always feel so guilty if I don’t answer because I am mom and should be there or that's how I feel anyway. I know that she uses that against me and I have to get stronger. Tonight was a wake up call as far as the strength of her addiction though. It just makes me sad and I know I need to go on with my day and take care of these babies, it is so hard without her.
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Posted: October 14, 2016, 7:50 AM
Hang in there....I would let them know...that you have filed a report. Most drug addicts want to stay as far away from any police involvement as they can. Right or wrong ...if it were me...I would LIE ..yep....lie my butt off. Say you have cameras up. Say the police are now doing random drive buys for your security. Say the police are now watching them. They may not completely believe you ...but especially with Meth there is A LOT of paranoia...fear of being watched ANYWAY so I think this could REALLY work toward your advantage. Im so sorry you are living this way...its horrible to always be watching over your shoulder...scared to go to sleep at night. Unfortunately we TEACH PEOPLE how to treat us ...because you have caved in the past...given into the demands ..they expect it and now you are going to have to deal with the pushback. The SOONER you can nip this in the bud...the better. Its going to be rough but they will EVENTUALLY learn that this avenue is closed to them and they will move on to another.
-------------------- JEN I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power,love and a sound mind. | ||
Posted: October 14, 2016, 9:47 AM
well done! You didn't get any help from the police but you sure made progress in your recovery. I would feel safer with dogs and an alarm system but I don't believe in doing something I condemn to achieve an outcome, being dishonest would be a step back.
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Posted: October 14, 2016, 10:06 AM
Thank you for all the kind words. I have given in alot before and just lately started saying no. I will let them know that I have called the police just so they have it in their heads that I will not cave in this time and hopefully it works. I do have 2 big dogs here but I don't think they will really do anything. They are more lovers then anything else but they will warn me if someone is here. Thanks for being so understanding with this situation to, most people I know just don't get why I feel the way I do.
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Posted: October 14, 2016, 2:58 PM
LMFAO !!! Jen...your priceless !!!
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Posted: October 14, 2016, 3:28 PM
WHAT??!! At least in my state you can get a restraining order against your daughter. The threats she made are criminal. They are called terroristic threats. Don't dismiss them or discount them. Go back to the police...tell them you want an order of protection, temporary restraining order or something like that because you are afraid. If police won't help you, go down to your courthouse (in my state it would be the family court) and you can get an order of protection there.
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. But protect yourself and your grand babies. Lynn -------------------- I forgot to read the fine print, when i signed up to be your Mom. I thought it would be smiles & hugs and quite a lot of fun. I didn’t see the part about addiction, mental illness, pain, hopelessness or despair. I didn’t know life could be so flipping unfair. But I now see something in the fine print that I didn’t see before. It also says to survive your addiction, I must love me more. In Loving Memory of my angel, J. #forever21 #ihateaddiction #foreverloved | ||
Posted: October 14, 2016, 4:03 PM
I have contacted the courthouse regarding the threats today because child services asked me to but because the police don't see it as a viable threat due to the drug abuse and the fact that I live out of town and in the country (so they don't think they would make the effort to come here) then I don't have any legal standing for either a no contact order or restraining order. I don't agree but I guess I just have to wait and see. She has still messaged me and I only responded with the offer of rehab which she did not respond well to. I don't know if that is the best thing to do or if I should just completely ignore. I am really frustrated today because it seems like the law favors the criminals.
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Posted: October 14, 2016, 6:25 PM
It's hard trying to get help from the law at times like this. I've been where you are except I wasn't threatened with getting my garage burnt down. I had 3 cars in my driveway once that brought my daughter home. Thing was though they had kidnapped her off the street threw her in their car and held a gun to her until she paid them money she owed them.thats when she said she had money at my house and they brought her there. We called the police and it was like something out of the "Keystone Cops" bumbling idiots but it was a real small town I lived in at the time. The police found no guns and no charges were filed....ridiculous! There were 3 guys and 4 girls that were cheerleaders too. All into heroin!! I could write a book of what I've been through with my daughter. So don't think anything shocks us on here. Been there done that, haven't wrote the book yet though. lol. Good luck to you Scaredmom and we're all here for you! We are all stronger than we think at times. So stay strong! 😁 Mary.💜
CON... that post of you laughing at Jens post was hilarious!! Thing is though ..I would do what Jen suggested as it really is a good idea. I'd tell them it was an unmarked car as that would keep them on their toes.lol. Glad to see your doing better.💜 This post has been edited by Mandm on October 14, 2016, 6:42 PM | ||
Posted: October 14, 2016, 6:40 PM
Thanks 😀 that wasn't me who made that post but her post did put a smile on my face lol
Good news is child services is going to apply for a restraining order for all of us. That makes me feel better which I didn't think I would but I appreciate all their help. I want to thank all of you for your help to..it feels like it has been so long since I smiled and felt understood. | ||
Posted: October 14, 2016, 6:44 PM
That's great news!! 😀 <~~ happy face. lol. Mary🌻
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Posted: October 14, 2016, 7:39 PM
Ya..I think it's for the best. Don't get me wrong I wish it wasn't this way at all lol
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Posted: October 14, 2016, 10:00 PM
Mary...I would too...Jen was spot on...i found it hilarious cuz it is sooo true ...still makes me laugh...
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Posted: October 14, 2016, 10:34 PM
I laugh every time I picture it in my mind. It's so hilarious and true! Hahaha! Good thing we all can laugh. Good medicine. It helped Scaredmom too, cheered her up and that's good! I think your reaction is what started me off. Too funny! I wonder if Jen knows how funny she is? Mary😂
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Posted: October 14, 2016, 11:29 PM
You guys are amazing!! I have sat here today reading through other threads and I think I have gotten more insight to this disease then I have while dealing with all these professionals PLUS I got to laugh and feel a little bit of my old self again. Wish I would have found this sooner.
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Posted: October 14, 2016, 11:41 PM
I'm glad that the lights are on and somebody is at home at DYFS or DCPP or whatever it is called where you live. At least they are paying attention and doing something about your daughter's criminal conduct. Thank you, Jesus!!!
Somebody doesn't feel like doing the paperwork, Scaredmom. Cause the police or courts or somebody is blowing smoke up your you-know-what. Each state is different. But in my state you are entitled to a restraining order if you have lived with the person. This is your daughter. I'm sure she lived with you at some point in time in her life. She threatened to kill you and your grandkids & threatened to commit arson to your property. And you are scared. That's all you have to say. Go to your legal services or contact an attorney. Call/write your mayor, police director, council person, the local TV station. You are a victim of domestic violence and your cries for protection should not be minimized, nor should the system re-victimize you. I'm so happy and proud of you that you were tenacious. You go girl!!! I love Jen's idea, too. I'd attribute any unknown car in the neighborhood as the police doing a drive-by. But on a serious note. . .ask the police to do wellness checks on you. Change the locks. Ask big, burly male relatives/friends with bad attitudes to come by your house occasionally. Buy another dog. . .but make sure this one is mean and surly. Put up motion sensitive lights. I assume you are in the States. I often see TV commercials for alarm systems for $99. ADT? Slomins? Who knows. . .Look for someone and have a system installed. Please don't feel guilty. This is not your beloved, happy, beautiful child talking/acting. This is an addict who is trying to get her way by manipulating you. . . by scaring you. Be strong. Do what is best for you and your grandkids. . .do what will keep you and your grandbaby's safe. Continue to love your child. . .but detach. We are all here with and for you. . . Lynn xoxo This post has been edited by hurtingmom on October 14, 2016, 11:52 PM -------------------- I forgot to read the fine print, when i signed up to be your Mom. I thought it would be smiles & hugs and quite a lot of fun. I didn’t see the part about addiction, mental illness, pain, hopelessness or despair. I didn’t know life could be so flipping unfair. But I now see something in the fine print that I didn’t see before. It also says to survive your addiction, I must love me more. In Loving Memory of my angel, J. #forever21 #ihateaddiction #foreverloved |
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