| next > | post replypost new topic |
|
Posted: April 25, 2015, 1:17 AM
hello anyone who has gone through, going through or thinking about coming off any opiate.I am currently on day 23 of being clean for the first time in 13 years.I can only say, I went to hell and back.but I did get back..and could not be so hapoy and thankful that I did.I will share my journey with anyone and answer as many questions as truthfully as I can on this site.any thing I cant answer truthfully here, my email address is nanabear2@hotmail.co.uk.
| ||
|
Posted: April 25, 2015, 2:28 AM
Awesome job! How are you feeling today?
| ||
Posts: 312
Joined: March 10, 2015
Posted: April 25, 2015, 2:47 AM
Congratulations !!!
I've been following your journey on the other thread (: Love Millie x | ||
Posts: 70
Joined: April 17, 2015
Posted: April 25, 2015, 6:03 AM
Hhole!!! Huurrray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-------------------- If you pray to God for rain, don't you complain about the lightening; If you're asking for directions, don't you moan about the distance. -Cloud Cult | ||
|
Posted: April 25, 2015, 8:50 AM
perco..hello there :-) ..im feeling so well, I no iv said before about the sleeping and the energy, they still the same but I get so much from the highs, and iv learnt from u and first steps to try and plough through the lows..and thats what I am doing..I no now that every day I am clean will add to my little bank of energy so staying positive is the only way for me now..thank u so much for your wisdom and attitude adjustment lol..I needed it!! how are you? doinh well im sure but I sooo know that anyone can still have a bad day..
first steps...everytime I use my juicer and suck in all those vitamins I smile and think of you and your want for healthy stuff lol!! how are your wds going? sleep etc? I hope not too bad, it can get to you when u get so little sleep and I find if I snooze during the day it makes it worse!! u? millie..hello and lovely to meet u!! and how are you on this terrible rainy day here in the uk lol? well I hope? im just going to re read ur posts..if uv followed my journey ul no my memory is terrible!! .. :-) | ||
Posts: 674
Joined: August 17, 2014
Posted: April 25, 2015, 9:17 AM
Hellhole - well done - rough journey but you have made it this far- very well done- take pride in your achievement - you deserve it- keep going, it will get even better-
| ||
|
Posted: April 25, 2015, 10:13 AM
travellin man..thank you for your kind words...its always so nice to hear from other people..in my silly 'small world' I didnt even think that any other people were reading my posts other than who I was answering..cam, mike, perco, and then first steps...perco has helped me with my limited knowledge of the internet lol and it has ALL opened up today when I started a thread..the penny has dropped and now I know how it all works ...its only took 3 weeks!..due to this I now have apologies to make and alot of reading to do as I can now see other peoples stories..and not just what I was reading on mikes thread..omg I feel so silly!! so here is the first and major one..
PERCO..I am so sorry, I have only just read your whole thread and I am all over the place..from now on I will call you T.. I also apologise as because I only read posts on mikes thread I didnt realise u were a man, and married!! u must have been cringing like I am now with all the kisses at the end of my posts..then the crying started.again.you have been so honest with what you have been through, and why, and how u got to this point.thank u for sharing this..it mirrors so many things in my last 13 yrs of addiction but I havent actually said how or why mine started.you are so brave.I just cant seem to do this.I now feel I understand u so much better and would love to share mine too but im not quite as brave as you..im so frightened that if I examine the hows and whys I will get caught up in it all.again.all I can say is that I 'needed' to be numb for the last decade to still be here.one day I hope I can.you really are a person I think your wife should admire, trust and appreciate..just for what u have done to save ur life, and ur families lives.to me you are amazing. | ||
|
Posted: April 25, 2015, 10:22 AM
millie..uv done so well! I couldnt taper at all.I took everything I could when I could..but im so pleased it has worked for you.stay strong and positive..you like so many on here have ur mind set and thats great to hear !!
| ||
|
Posted: April 26, 2015, 11:31 AM
How are you doing today hellhole? I just thought you were being nice with some of the stuff you wrote. No big deal. No reason to be embarrassed or anything like that. No need to even apologize to anybody. I do have rough days. I had a lot of dreams about getting pills last night. I never took any, just got them. I think that's pretty common. I woke up at first pretty proud of myself and then pissed at myself and then I figured out it was a dream
| ||
|
Posted: April 27, 2015, 2:05 AM
morning T..thanks! it was my lack of understanding of the site and how it works that caused the confusion..well thanks to u I can find mist things, posts etc now lol..I had a pretty sh*t day yesterday.its all I thought about all day long.I know I cant ever take one again as I no I dont have the strength to control anything about them..I too suffer from a long term back problem, but thankfully it doesn't trouble me often.my worst problem are my seizures.I have broken bones, bruised limbs, cut myself badly and alot more in the last year as I have grand mall which make me drop unconscious anywhere at anytime with no warning.this frightens me so much as I would have to bear the pain from here on in, regardless of the injury.my worst fear is to have one, wake up in hospital on a morphine drip or any other form of opiate.I would be devestated..but hey, as uv said, be positive..the dreams are awful arnt they! but when u pull urself together and realise it was a dream I get a little bit of a buz now lol...I have them often.I wish I could tell my husband like u have ur wife, but that is definitely not an option for me.my secret posts each morning are my only outlet..and omg am I thankfull for them :-) ..my thoughts and wishes are with u ..have the best day :-)
| ||
|
Posts: 312
Joined: March 10, 2015
Posted: April 27, 2015, 5:04 AM
Hi sweet pea , God your awful hard on yourself ...I put kisses after all my comments too . Never gave it a second thought I'm sure T didn't either. That's awful you can't share with your hubby but I totally get it. My OH was supportive but the pills are now blamed for almost everything ! If I'm in a bad mood it's cause I need pills ....everything and anything it's always because of the pills ).: Re dreams , I had the most awful one where of left my girl home alone in the evening to go out and buy a box of pills . No matter how hard I tried and I couldn't get back home. When I eventually made it her wee face was swollen from crying. I woke up in a terrible state .... I don't even let my girl out the garden gate never mind alone in the house !! I keep trying to visualise New Year's Eve and the bells ringing at midnight and standing thee so proud of myself that 2016 will not be about pills. I'm usually on my own a lot and happy to 'chat' to you throughout the day . Least I know your not in bed but on the same time as me. This week is a bit different as I'll have company most of the time so don't think I being rude. My OH is the only one that knows about this and I wouldn't trust anyone else . Being a mum it's just too great a risk if you know what I mean ? Your doing great sweet peace xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx- haha | ||
|
Posts: 312
Joined: March 10, 2015
Posted: April 28, 2015, 4:41 AM
Hi hellhole ,
God I hope I didn't offend you about the name you choose . I get why you choose it ).: It's just you seem like such a lovely lady and I feel funny referring to you as hellhole .... Lots of love Millie xxxxx | ||
|
Posted: May 1, 2015, 1:23 AM
How are you doing hellhole?
| ||
|
Posts: 5
Joined: May 4, 2015
Posted: May 4, 2015, 6:28 AM
ive posted on here this morning and joined the site for help. i was wanting to know, what kind of withdrawls do you go thru coming off pain pills? bc, i am going to be next...ive got to ...and how do you handle the withdrawls?
| ||
Posts: 165
Joined: February 17, 2015
Posted: May 4, 2015, 8:07 AM
Hi Sharon,
I'll respond to your query here in your original thread/post regarding your current situation. As Always - Stay Strong, Stay Calm, Stay Vigilant! Cheers, Cam | ||
|
Posted: May 6, 2015, 2:21 AM
hello and good morning to all..oh wow what a week iv had..since my last post my husband 'suprised' me with 5 days away in the countryside..due to the fact that he thought I looked so well.and I panicked.these sort of trips have always in the past been planned with military precision by me, with the gathering of as many pills as I could afford and lay my hands on to take with me..as well as I felt and looked I really dreaded the thought of actually doing something so active outside my comfy,safe home..I can say I managed.I certainly wudnt say I enjoyed it.it was so weird not waking up every morning..throwing a handful of them down my throat then being ready to do anything.its all I thought about every morning but it gradually wore off through the day..to return the next morning.this went on for the full break.I couldnt have got a hold of any while there..is this the reason I stayed clean or if I had found a box would I have wavered? I dont know.and never will now but im so happy that I simply got through it clean.my husband didnt suspect a thing, but then again after 13 yrs of lying, secrets, hiding wds I dont know if he even knows the real me anymore.do I? god im so mixed up, feel sad again when I thought I was doing so well with dealing with the 'bad' thoughts and punishing myself for the years of deceit.I know this is quite a rant, but I needed to get it all out there after not posting for a while.I should feel proud of myself but instead I feel so despondent.is this my brain trying its games again? any views or opinions so welcome.
| ||
|
Posts: 312
Joined: March 10, 2015
Posted: May 6, 2015, 2:36 AM
Hi hellhole ,
I so good to hear from you . From reading the posts on here I think a lot of people go through what your experiencing . The one thing I've also read is that it does get better so hang in there . The past is just that, and I don't think there's anyone of us on here who haven't done things that we deeply regret when we are abusing pills. Please don't be too hard on yourself ... You've haven't started back on the pills and that's all that really matters ... So be proud (: I know from my own experience is so hard not to let your mind wonder to all the negative stuff and beat yourself up but your doing your absolute best to sort the situation and that's all you can do . Lots of love Millie | ||
|
Posts: 312
Joined: March 10, 2015
Posted: May 6, 2015, 4:12 AM
Hellhole I meant to say to you to try the 5 HTP .. Only if your not on a prescribed anti- depressant ?
It's not a micracle by any stretch of the imagination, but it does help on the really low days. It's gives you enough of a lift that you don't want to hide under the covers all day if that makes sense ? I followed Ts advice and I don't take it every day so that it doesn't lose it's effectiveness . You can buy it in most health food shops like holland and barratt or on line . Please don't take it though with any ' real' anti depressant meds cos it can cause serotonin syndrome which can be fatal ... Bloody wouldn't want that on my head )),: For me anything that slightly lifts the darkness on really low days is a godsend esp when it's a non narcotic Love Millie xxx This post has been edited by Milliemac on May 6, 2015, 4:13 AM | ||
|
Posted: May 7, 2015, 10:54 AM
hi mille..iv never heard of 5htp..what is it? I had to be really careful with any other meds/ even herbal remedies because of my epilepsy medication so would have to speak to my epi nurse or neurologist about it first..then I would get the questions about why I feel low...long story short, no one knows about my addiction..apart from everyone on here lol..but thank you for ur suggestion :-) :-) I feel so much better today, one of them days when just seeing a leaf on a tree makes me happy haha or should I say really appreciative of being clean and fog free? whatever! im having a reeeally good day..how did ur counselling go? iv never had any..I hope well as so many people on here value it so much.iv just read Ts last post and belly laughed so much at the way he worded his lack of energy..it rang so well in my ears and I really cant remember the last time I lol like that.it felt so good.I hope ur well today, we all deserve good days:-) xx
| ||
|
Posts: 674
Joined: August 17, 2014
Posted: May 7, 2015, 2:23 PM
Hi Hellhole 25 - glad to hear you are doing better today- we all regret what we have/havent done in the past- there is an awful lot of guilt and shame attached to our past behaviours - stay outta the past- there is no future in it- it's a dangerous place for us to hang out in- every day you stay clean is a step further away from the past and a step closer to the future - giving up drugs/alcohol is often compared to the loss of a best friend, so part of the process is almost like grieving this loss - we all have days when this "loss" will seem hard to cope with- thats when it is time to reach out for support and help- slowly these days will become further and further apart as you become stronger and more comfortable in your recovery- it is all part of the process- you should be very proud- your doing a great job- stay strong and stay clean- best of luck.
| ||
|
| post replypost new topic |