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Posts: 1
Joined: October 28, 2013
Posted: October 28, 2013, 7:11 PM
Hi everyone. It's been a very long time. The last time I was here was back in 2004-2006. Not sure exactly. I remember speaking w/MJ, subox man (something like that), cowgirl, Kevin (broke my heart when he went away), Poopie, and many others. It was a long time ago. I've been going strong... until now. It's a long story and I guess you would call it a "slip" as opposed to a relapse. Still, I used. I didn't use my DOC, but I used nonetheless. I'm sitting here wondering why I did this. I only have a month until school is completed. It's the same old adage... I thought I could handle it (as I type, I still do since I am currently coming down). I took some ADHD medication because I was diagnosed. Thought it would help. It did... until I couldn't control the dose... same old addict story. I got complacent. I told my husband that I just can't be in control of the bottle-- much less even have a prescription. I'd rather be all over the place than dependent on some damn medication that just makes me a person that I AM NOT.
Gonna start going to meetings again. I just feel like crying. I'll be sober tomorrow & I know I will feel better. I just needed to tell my fellow addicts in recovery. I guess I just needed to get it out-- bc you know, "you're only as sick as your secrets." I'm an addict. You are never "cured." Ever. There is no control in our world. I'm surrendering tonight. Thanks for listening. Sorry it's all over the place. FYI-- you may remember me as bri711... I think that's the name I posted under years ago. This post has been edited by verymadworld on October 28, 2013, 7:38 PM -------------------- Scars remind us of the past, they do not have to dictate where we are going. -Unknown | ||
Posts: 6750
Joined: September 15, 2005
Posted: October 28, 2013, 8:06 PM
That is a long time ago--we are getting old--yep we will never be cured--
hang in there Jeff -------------------- It is Just Not worth it. "Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the puck happened." One Day At A Time | ||
Posts: 1059
Joined: August 11, 2012
Posted: October 29, 2013, 7:58 AM
Welcome back! Kinda slow around here right now so hang in there HUGS!!!!!!!
Jessica | ||
Posts: 2268
Joined: October 17, 2004
Posted: October 29, 2013, 8:56 AM
I think I remember you, or ur posting name. Back then is when I started posting, wanting to get clean but using, clean for a while on maintenance medication, abusing add meds & on &on. Finally, after all this time plus the years and years before I began posting, I am completely off of narcotics & things are starting to look ok - it's going on 2 months now.
I have known of a couple of people who started recovery around 2004, 9 years ago. They are doing well & I wish I had been successful way back then, I could have - at the same time I realize that now is now & today is the best time, THE ONLY TIME, for me to be clean and learn how to live & enjoy life. i'M GLAD U R BACK. Harry -------------------- No matter what right you did or what wrong you didn't do: When you're the black sheep, all blame belongs to you | ||
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