| post replypost new topic |
|
Posted: November 25, 2012, 8:34 AM
Hello,
I am a wife of an addict, i am very co dependent. We have been together 17 years , married for 9, have 2 small children. About a year ago I discovered my husband has been using meth. He lost weight, changed his sleep behavior and he became more serious. My stories over the past year are so long and awful that it will take a long time to explain, too exhausted now. The latest thing that has brought me here is i caught him with another woman, i pretty much new the lying was out of control. He has been with her all weekend over the holiday, I need to know what my rights are with the kids in setting bounderies. our finances are comlicated, he has a large inheritance coming to him and access to alot of money. I am a stay at home mom he supports me. Fortunately have already have gained quite a bit of control over the finances. my plan is to lock him out, get an alarm, tell him to leave for 3 months and figure himself out b/c i dont want it around myself or my family. i will try to get a job in the mean time, I am an RN and quit in June d/t stress at home. Please help with advice i feel very vulnerable and very scared | ||
Posts: 21299
Joined: October 17, 2003
Posted: November 25, 2012, 9:40 AM
Meg,
We're moving your post to the Families/Partners of Addicts forum. There are many there who can give you the support and advice you need. - the moderators | ||
Posts: 8683
Joined: April 24, 2007
Posted: November 25, 2012, 9:12 PM
He has as much right to the children as you do without a legal injunction preventing him from seeing them. Have you been documenting his behavior? do you have any proof of what has been going on? Locking him out will not legally keep him out, he has as much right to your family as you do. He can get a court order to re-enter his home since you have not given legal cause for him to be put out. All of this needs to happen in the system. If he is using and sleeping around you'd best get yourself tested for STDs and stop sleeping with him if you haven't already...protect yourself.
Have you talked to him about this, about his addiction and what it's doing to you and the children, about your fears? Does he admit to any of it? What was his reaction to being caught with another woman? In all likelihood he will lie to you, but it never hurts to try. Try to stay calm and prepare for his anger and denial. Simply tell him what you know, what you want, and be ready for him to turn everything back on you and make you feel crazy...that's what they do. You cannot lock him out and expect that to be the end of it. Tell us more... Peace ~ MomNMore -------------------- You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.  | ||
Posts: 9248
Joined: December 1, 2005
Posted: November 26, 2012, 11:59 AM
Hi Meg and welcome.
I'm glad you found us. Keep coming back, you're among friends here, people who have been there. xoxo Stacey -------------------- Happiness is not in the bottom of a pill bottle. It's inside you. | ||
|
| post replypost new topic |