| post replypost new topic |
Posts: 1
Joined: October 15, 2013
Posted: October 15, 2013, 10:40 AM
This is my story, some of it at least.
Ok so for the last umm 9-10 YEARS I have been using PP's It started with tabs and then went to percs and up and up I climbed. I graduated to Methadone which is suppose to help get you off pills and maybe it works for some. I am not posting this in the MD room because it seems like those were people using it to get off of whatever they were on before. I used it to get high. Not to mention it became harder and harder to find and I still will take whatever I can get in between. I will say that though I have had long term usage I have managed to keep from using a super high amount per day,Typically I use 20 mg per day on a rare occasion I could use 40 or even 50 but they might be once or twice a month. 20 seems to be the magic number and this is with most anything. I rarely snort, have never banged I'm a good old fashioned pop em down the guzzle kind of girl, though if you offer me a line of yours I wasn't going to turn it down either. Well throughout the years I have at times successfully quit for a while sometimes longer than others. Guess that goes with the saying quitting is easy staying that way isn't.. I have used different methods and that varried depending what I was on at the time. I am sitting here again trying to quit. My last MD was a week ago maybe and I do NOT recommend using MD to get off of pain pills, heroin sure but pain pills you are switching one bad thing for something worse. Before I used MD I went thru regular old PP withdraw and it has nothing on MD, which if you go to a clinic I guess they will ween you down if you want from what I hear though you taper up and not down which doesn't sound like they are actually trying to help you quit to me but whatever. I don't want to trade one thing for another. I have tried to use suboxine which DOES NOT get me high in any kind of way, I guess it does for some but I am one of the ones it doesn't. However it does help with the W/D everything it seems but the achy legs, which happens to be the one I hate the most. Strange thing is this I am SO SCARED OF W/D that when I am trying to quit and I take saboxine I continue taking it and seem to become dependent on it even though it doesn't get me high. I think I am psychologically hooked I have to be taking SOMETHING. I got to the point that after all the MD use that if I do take a tab or perc I don't really feel those anymore either and I will start to withdraw the same day... For example MD has a longer half life, say I take 2 10 mg MD on a Monday and nothing else I won't start feeling bad until Wednesday then I can't get MD so I take a perc 10 or two that morning and it curves my WD for a while but by that evening sometime I need another. UGH I don't know why I am explaining all of this, maybe it's therapy and I need to get it all out and talk to someone. Ok on with the story where I am in my life as of this moment and what brought me here. I havn't had a MD in a week as I said, started back on percs and tabs to keep from being sick from the md and wd starts to kick in pretty quick so I had half a saboxine put up for a while and I broke down and took it today after waking up sweaty, sneezing a million times, eyes watery and nose running. I took tylonol asprin and caffine in the form of one of those "migraine" pills for my achy legs which curbed the achyness a bit but not much. I have no more saboxine and I can probably get some but I don't want to keep trading one habbit for another plus I don't have $ for another box until thursday (today is tuesday) I want to taper down if I can but I don't know if I can give up the crutch, I'm trying though. I have two young children and a husband who works 2nd shift while I work first - at work now. I can't not afford rehab, I can not afford to miss 2 weeks of work to get through this and I have to take care of my kids by myself in the evening while my husband is at work and I have to be able to work during the day. I can't concentrate I should be working now but I'm writing in this forum. Any suggestions on how to deal with WD while I have so much to do? Any guesses how long I will be going through this? Whats the best over the counter concoctions to help with the symptoms? Iv'e heard that immodiam ad is a good one and to double up on the dosage. What about depression and lathargia? Last night I knew I would take my half a box today and was trying to put it off, I had 2 tabs yesterday which don't last even as long as the percs so I was feeling crappy, I napped on the couch for like two hours and getting out of bed is so hard but these are things I have to do. I guess I can double up on caffine and things. Ugh this seems so bleak. I was very motivated at the begining of all this like F*** this I'm tired of this SH** i'm giving it up and now I'm doubting myself. ANY advice and encouragment is appreciated any suggestions on using saboxine and how to taper off dealing with all other symptoms as well including depression, no insurance have to do this mostly over the counter or natural can't use ant-depressents since I can't go to DR and such. THANKS FOR READING and hopefully you don't want that 10 mins of your life back I know it was longwinded and all | ||
Posts: 1059
Joined: August 11, 2012
Posted: October 15, 2013, 12:58 PM
Hey and welcome to the board. I can relate to how you're feeling and i wish i could tell you an easy fix. It is just not so. You are going to have to "WOMAN UP" and get in gear. There is not a lot you can do to make this go away. You are addicted something that didn't happen over night and wont go away overnight. I suggest getting a support group like NA or PA to help you get clean. That's how i stay clean. The drugs you are taking are not from you'r doctor and could be fatal to you. Imiangne you'r children finding you dead in you'r bed! REALLY this could happen and it does sadly. If you really want off this roller coaster get help fast. You deserve a better life and so do your children. This crap is not a joke it can kill you and you won't even know till it's to late. If nothing changes, nothing changes. (((HUGS)))
Jessica | ||
Posts: 817
Joined: June 25, 2005
Posted: October 16, 2013, 12:58 PM
Hi. Hope you're doing ok.
It's a tough position to be in but any other option is exponentially worse. A few days off work and absent minded, flu ridden mothering sure beats the alternative. We've all gotten through it and many of us with kids and a career as well. It's more than possible. Keep trucking through and eat bananas, drink tons of water and yes, Immodium is one of very few otc that actually work. Good luck. -------------------- "You miss 100% of the shots you never take." #99 | ||
Posts: 2268
Joined: October 17, 2004
Posted: October 17, 2013, 3:51 PM
Hey Dawnuh
I sure appreciate your struggle , your courage & ur efforts. Like u, for years and years and years, I went from narcotics to methadone maintenance to get get off of street and prescription drugs, then back to painers to get off of methadone, then to suboxone get off of street drugs. Even on 'maintenance' I ended up getting high on non opiates. It was endless and spiraled out of control, even though I never admitted the obvious to myself. Flipper. has an excellent point. Missing a few days or a week of work, even if it puts u behind on bills, is a low price to pay to be able to effectively get thru the worse part of WD's. Something that will definitely ease the full force of WD's is clonidine, which any Dr. worth his salt will prescribe to u. It is a blood preasure medicine prescribed to ease the pain of narcotic WD's. I have heard it does this by 'fooling' the opiate receptors. It is probably not the best thing to take and go to work on as u may not be fully functional on it. If you could get the time off, it could be a real good tool. If you have to continue working thru Withdrawels, I think it would be OK to take after u get home from work. You would at least get some relief in the evenings. I hope u do well Harry This post has been edited by Browndog113 on October 17, 2013, 3:53 PM -------------------- No matter what right you did or what wrong you didn't do: When you're the black sheep, all blame belongs to you | ||
|
| post replypost new topic |