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Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008
Posted: April 27, 2009, 2:53 PM
For you newcomers here who are wanting to give up drinking I am here to tell you there is hope and that it can be done. I would dream of being sober,I wanted and I envied people who didn't have the problem. I hated who I had become,I hated my life and I was full of hate,anger,resentment guilt and remorse. I hit my bottom in January 2008. It was either seek help or die. On January 3rd 2008 I made contact with AA and by the Grace of God and the fellowship of AA and this ARG board I have gotten sober. It has not been an easy task because I have had a lot of obstacles in my way. For one thing there isn't any AA where I live. I have to travel 100 miles one way to get to a meeting which I do now once a month. Below is a list of "some" of the things I have dealt with in my 16 months of sobriety. I want to make it clear that my list is not one of self pity but to give HOPE to others who are struggling and having a difficult time dealing with life that sobriety can be achieved. It is possible.
my first month was sheer depression and anxiety. my second month of sobriety my daughter was admitted to re ab for a drug addiction to antivan. I watched her go through terrible withdrawal.Anyone who has had a addicted teenager know what that involves. my 3rd month I hemmoraged for the second time, and had to be admitted to hospital. the first time a month before I gave up drinking. my daughter was admitted to hospital for depression and suicidal tendencies. For months was involved with the courts and police and I was involved in a court trial for the rape of my daughter that occured when she was younger by a family member. My marriage almost ended over circumstances that I wont say here. I had a health scare when I was diagnosed with a bone tumor and didnt know if it was cancer or not until I had tests done. It wasn't thank God but I still have to get tested every so often to make sure it is not turning to cancer. My sponsor whom I had from town relapsed which basically left me with no one to turn to other than this board my marriage once again went on the rocks . both me and my husband were laid off from our jobs I lost friends. a secret that I thought I would take to my grave was found out by my daughter which resulted in much upheaval,distress and anxiety and for a while ruined our relationship. after finding about my secret she went on antivan again (the drug she was addicted to) for a while but thankfully has stopped again. Our relationship has since improved. My daughter at present is waiting for a biopsy on a lump in her chest that a catscan and an ultrasound cannot diagnose what it is. These are just "some" of the things I have had to deal with in my first year of sobriety without any AA meetings or f2F interaction.. I got through tho through sheer determination and the help of the people on this board.I began doing the steps with Kat who is my online sponsor and through doing those steps I have found spiritualityI have found God. ,I have found peace and I can live life on a daily basis without having to be drunk to do so. . I have found a way to be rid of my resentments,to be free of hate,to be able to forgive, I have found a way to live. I have found a way to be FREE . You can too.. it is possible just make up your mind and go for it. Be strong and be willing and it can be done. You are not alone. Life may not always be easy but it's easier without the booze. This post has been edited by pirate on April 27, 2009, 2:57 PM -------------------- Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need | ||
Posts: 4017
Joined: April 21, 2006
Posted: April 28, 2009, 4:40 AM
Gidday Pirate
Thanks for that post as it shows me how it can work if i work at it:) light and love Zac -------------------- Endless Hope can be found when I am ready for acceptance mixed with spirituality and ask for the courage to change. | ||
Posts: 2246
Joined: March 23, 2006
Posted: April 28, 2009, 6:20 AM
that's an amazing post Pirate.
-------------------- Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Matthew 6:27 May the Force be with you. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should just get used to the idea....Robert Heinlein. You can spend the next 24 hours reaching your true potential or sliding down into your own particular hell. the choice is always yours. | ||
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Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008
Posted: April 28, 2009, 8:09 AM
idgie I guess what I was trying to say but I rambled and that is there will always be excuses to drink but no good reason. Life happens,crap happens but picking up is not the answer,all it would do would be add to any problems we may be facing. I am proud of me for standing my ground and not drinking. One time I could never say I was proud of myself because I felt worthless but now yeah I can say I am proud of me and I know that no matter what happens I don't have to drink over it. As skg used to say don't drink even if your a** falls off . There were many times I had to check and see if my a** was still there but I hung in there and today I can look back and be grateful.Have a great day!
-------------------- Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need | ||
Posts: 3589
Joined: June 7, 2006
Posted: April 28, 2009, 12:52 PM
Anyone else notice the light shining from Marie?? I sure do! It's been awesome watching your transformation girlfriend. :-) Keep doing what you are doing because it's working!!
Your friend in recovery, xx Valarie -------------------- Live In Blessings Not Blame. Your Inner Peace Begins With Sobriety. Valarie :-) | ||
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Posts: 53
Joined: April 26, 2009
Posted: April 29, 2009, 5:31 AM
Pirate, Good work, I guess after reading that all I think is take all that and imagin doing it with alcohol, and I am NOT saying it would be better, imagin if you were to drunk and not thinking straight, could you have been there for you daughter whilst she went through that? would she still be here today if you couldn't give her the support she needed at that time, I guess you could (could not should) say you had 'cause to drink' but fact that if you had you would certainly be in a much worse position then you are today. and with a lot less, probably no marriage, possibly no daughter, and your health would have deteriorated desperatly, I guess what I am saying is congratulations!!! I think rather then looking at it as you had reason to drink look at it as though with those kinds of things happening that you need to be of sound mind to deal with you actually had VERY GOOD REASON NOT TO DRINK! and you did it!!!!!! You are fab for being so brave and I can see there are many many reasons in your life not to drink, congratulations again! you deserve to know you are a special perrson you, your soul, your body and your beautiful mind are worth so much more then any foul poison. Congrats xo
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Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008
Posted: April 29, 2009, 7:13 AM
Thank you Claire!
-------------------- Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need | ||
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Posts: 3589
Joined: June 7, 2006
Posted: April 29, 2009, 10:08 AM
Claire wrote: (regarding Pirate)
Hi Claire, You are so right all of that is true about Marie. Now if you can just flip that sentence around and believe it about yourself. You too are worth soo much more!! Have a great day! -------------------- Live In Blessings Not Blame. Your Inner Peace Begins With Sobriety. Valarie :-) | ||
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Posts: 53
Joined: April 26, 2009
Posted: April 30, 2009, 5:53 AM
ha ha Val your Naughty! It's different when you are valuing somone else, it is much harder to put that same value on yourself, but yes you are right.... and i guess the reason , you, I and everyone else is here is because we are making the effort to believe it's true of others....and very importantly true of ourselves.
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Posts: 3589
Joined: June 7, 2006
Posted: April 30, 2009, 9:29 AM
Hi Claire,
I guess it goes back to the old cliche about "you can't love someone else until you can love yourself." It's very simple but very true. -------------------- Live In Blessings Not Blame. Your Inner Peace Begins With Sobriety. Valarie :-) | ||
Posts: 6300
Joined: May 27, 2005
Posted: April 30, 2009, 9:50 AM
Marie, you have come so far and it couldn't have happened without your willingness to do the work and not give up when the s*** hits the fan. I'm proud of you.
-------------------- १२ स्तैप्पैर! kat11100@comcast.net If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain Just because the monkey's off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town Laugh because it shows people that you have what they want and what they need: a hope in things unseen, a peace that passes understanding, and a God of miracles who also has a great sense of humor. | ||
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Posts: 3589
Joined: June 7, 2006
Posted: April 30, 2009, 10:43 AM
Kat,
Marie couldn't have had a better person to help lead the way. It's fanfreakintastic for both of you!! :-) Hey I forgot to tell ya that I found a very similar Tommy dress to yours. A bit different color pattern but close. :-) Triple love it!! I've been on the hunt ever since I saw it. Yaayyy. Have a great day. -------------------- Live In Blessings Not Blame. Your Inner Peace Begins With Sobriety. Valarie :-) | ||
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Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008
Posted: April 30, 2009, 11:06 AM
Val I agree. Kat a lot changed for me when you got me through the steps. Though it was through the internet it still worked and you got this ol gal through them and I will never forget the remark..."Get over yourself" LOL I think that was one of the most influential things that I ever had said to me.You know if working the steps and GETTING THE RESULTS is possible online makes one wonder how powerful those steps really are . Don't think there is any program that can beat that! Thank you Kat! oh and by the way a couple of more pages to read in the 12&12 and be done with what you assigned me. you did say Friday right?? :)
-------------------- Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need | ||
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Posts: 6300
Joined: May 27, 2005
Posted: April 30, 2009, 11:25 AM
I was thinking rather Friday morning but what do I know. Just do it!!! LOL
-------------------- १२ स्तैप्पैर! kat11100@comcast.net If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain Just because the monkey's off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town Laugh because it shows people that you have what they want and what they need: a hope in things unseen, a peace that passes understanding, and a God of miracles who also has a great sense of humor. | ||
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Posts: 53
Joined: April 26, 2009
Posted: May 1, 2009, 3:46 AM
wow did you really do the 12 steps on line and not do the aa meetings? how and wow... and you think it worked? interesting..
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Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008
Posted: May 1, 2009, 6:04 AM
yes Claire I did my steps online with Kat and yes it worked!
-------------------- Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need | ||
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Posts: 6300
Joined: May 27, 2005
Posted: May 1, 2009, 8:11 AM
BUT the only reason pirate did the steps online is that there are very few meetings in her area. She still goes to a meeting when she can. It is much better to do the steps face to face that it is online. I struggled over the decision to work the steps with her online. I had never done it before. My sponsor and I decided if she had no other alternative steps online were better than no steps at all. If there are meetings in your area I advise you to go to them and find a sponsor.
-------------------- १२ स्तैप्पैर! kat11100@comcast.net If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain Just because the monkey's off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town Laugh because it shows people that you have what they want and what they need: a hope in things unseen, a peace that passes understanding, and a God of miracles who also has a great sense of humor. | ||
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