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Posted: August 8, 2011, 8:28 AM
My Husband and I have been married for 3 years but together for 6 when we first started dating I had been clean for 2 years and I hadn't been with anyone since because of using meth with my last boyfriend it was a really messy break up and I was determined to make sure to never make that mistake again I was so happy with my life after I cleaned up I love my husband with all my heart and I never would want to imagine my life without him I have caught him 3 different times in the 6 years that we have been together having used in the past I knew the signs instantly but despite asking him and begging him not to lie to me because that would only make it worse even after catching him red handed he still denied it which I knew was a huge problem I have helped him back on his feet all 3 times and I have tried to be patient but at times it gets really hard after the last time catching him I sat him down and as calm as possible just told him everything I felt and how his lying was making everything worse and that his addiction is making me feel so bad and that I really need him to really think about things and if he still wants to use we need to talk about separating but he just ignores me I have gotten to the point where I'm ready to give up but I just feel so stuck I love him so much and I feel so bad about feeling like giving up and leaving him I'm bitter about putting up with this for so long and now I'm starting to lash out at him we have a beautiful baby girl together and she adores him but I just feel like I have tried so long to ignore the fact that I can't fix him and I need to get out I just don't know how and what makes it even harder is that he is an amazing dad I'm just so lost don't know what to do someone please help!!!
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Posts: 8683
Joined: April 24, 2007
Posted: August 8, 2011, 11:17 AM
Welcome, your story might best be posted on the Family/Partners board as there are a couple of women who have lived with addicted husbands/partners for many years. Check out some of mistyeyes's posts...she knows about this quite well and it's a start towards understanding.
As someone who used, you know the drill...trust his behaviors rather than his words and see if you can be peaceful with things as they are, or whether you need to make a change that involves YOU, because you know you can't change him. Peace ~ MomNMore -------------------- You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.  | ||
Posts: 1101
Joined: August 27, 2004
Posted: August 8, 2011, 2:42 PM
Wouldnt you be giving up on yourself by allowing this to continue?? You have not only yourself to think of,....but a child as well. Take care of you two,....only he can get himself to stop using. You did a great job of explaining yourself.
Now that it has pusshed you to lashing out,....that isnt going to accomplish anything positive. Good luck,....we're here for you -------------------- It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you aren't Never go faster than your Angels can fly Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you havn't fallen asleep yet. We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. - Buddha The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - Buddha | ||
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