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Posts: 257
Joined: December 30, 2008
Posted: February 11, 2009, 8:03 PM
I'm doing fine MattB. I'm back at work now so it was kind of hard the first couple of days i would come home after work. But what i do is the minute i get in the house, i take the dog out. I find i have alot more energy that before and i am sleeping well now.
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Posts: 61
Joined: January 4, 2009
Posted: February 13, 2009, 6:18 AM
Hi Fleur, Matt, Lucy and everyone else following this,
Well I'm proud to say that I'm still clean. Almost 6 weeks now. Do I miss it? Yes. Do I crave it? Not anymore. I've been on an amazing journey since seeing the world clearly again. In fact, I was recommended to see a psychotherapist who has been absolutely wonderful and a fundamental part of my recovery. It seems that pot was a "symptom" of what he diagnosed as "post-career-depression". Since I had my little one 2 years ago and left my job – I was using pot as a means to escape "mother-dom". I've now got some realistic, challenging and inspiring goals for ME and my life as opposed to the mundaneness of being at home every day with a toddler and just cooking, cleaning and boring, boring, boring. I'll never touch the green again. Fleur, I still check in almost every day to see if you had posted and you are never far from my thoughts and I'll never forget how much you helped me through what was probably the roughest time of my life. I hope you are well and clean and most importantly - happy. I'd love to hear how you and others are going. Take care. PS. I also read “A Million Little Pieces”. Despite all the controversy attached – it is a GREAT read and well worth it if you look at it as fiction but can relate to a man’s journey from a dark, dark place. We’ve all been there. | ||
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Posted: February 19, 2009, 11:22 AM
Hi everyone,
First of all, congratulations to everyone of you for having the courage to change the way your life was being controlled by drugs. Now it is being controlled by you .....which is the ultimate. I have never nor will I ever be addicted to drugs. I was a smoker for 32 years of cigarettes, but have quit that 14 months ago. My husband was addicted to pot for about 28 years or so. He committed suicide 5 years ago after he was off pot for about 2 weeks. As a result of being a pot abuser, in the last 2 years of his life, he was a different person. He was moody, irritable, and not very pleasant to be around. He became somewhat more cheerful after a joint or two, but progressively needed more. He used to say that the pot wasn't a very good quality and that is why he had to smoke more. My life has never been the same. I miss him every day and long for the days when he just had an occasional "puff". Thank-you to all of you again for having the courage to change not only your own lives but the lives of people who love you. | ||
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Posted: February 19, 2009, 9:55 PM
Hey Cleo, so nice to hear from you again.
I'm so happy you are doing so good and that you are seeing or have seen a professional who has helped you understand what was driving you to smoke pot. I have seen a pyschiatrist in the past and i must admit it has helped me alot. During the year and a half i did see him, i took more decisions than i ever had in my life and they were all good decisions that made my life better to this day. I too haven't smoked pot again since i first came to this board on December 30th. Contrary to you however, i still do have cravings for it but not as much as better. I also find i like myself a whole lot more than i ever did in my entire life. Most importantly, i feel so proud of myself and everyday i enjoy my life so much more. I am not so paranoid anymore and i haven't had any anxiety attacks since i quit smoking pot. I've put alot of money away since i quit smoking pot and now i decided to treat myself a little bit by going on a trip to the other end of the country to see my brother who i haven't since in many years. I cannot wait to see him again. I must admit i'm a little bit scared of going though because i know he smokes pot but he told me he hardly does it anymore. So will see. Sometimes i think it will be so tempting when i'm there but then i think of you when you went away for a weekend where you knew there would be some pot and then you came back from your weekend and you told us you hadn't touch the thing. So, when i'm with my brother i will think of you and of that weekend and i know it will only encourage me not to touch the damn thing. I am so happy for your child that his mommy is totally off pot. One day when he finds out about your old addiction, he will be the proudest child on the face of this earth. I don't write as often on this board anymore because i am just soooooooooooo tired when i come home from work. But everytime i do come, i always look you up to see if you did come and write. I was so glad to see that you did do that a couple of days ago. Cleo, please remember that you to haved helped me tremendously in my quest to get off pot. I will never forget you and i think of you every day. I'll be back soon to check up on you. Keep posting. I always enjoy reading you. I've never read so many books since i quit smoking pot. I'm now reading More, Now, Again by Elizabeth Wurtzel. I read it years ago but there are parts of it i had completly forgotten. If you read it Cleo, let me know how you find it. Dee, your post is very nice. Those are kind words for me. Come back and post. | ||
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Posted: February 19, 2009, 10:04 PM
Hi Cleo!!
Just wanted to reply here since I thought I was an educated "smoker" First off I have no clue what a "cone" is...LOL please help me there. I have smoked since I was ummm 15 so that would be 26 years. At this point in my life, unlike many others around me, I have no desire to smoke period. Trust me I dont understand it, but take it day by day. The desire is absolutely gone. I am a addict period and have done and quit a few things. Honestly I dont know where or why the desire left me, but I guess I am thankful. To me these days it makes me depressed. Heck, Im already depressed, I do not need any more help, LOL. I realize you dont want to hear this crap from anyone, I just read you and really thought I was soooooooo smart, but wondered what the heck a cone was? My curiosity got the best of me. Good luck to you sweetie Hugs Sunni -------------------- These Dreams are Tied to a Horse that never Tires | ||
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Posted: February 19, 2009, 10:09 PM
wanted to add to Fluer's post....
yeah my bro does it too still daily, all day and Im cool with that, just not for me. He invited me to come visit another state this past weekend but I did not go. When he comes to my house, thats the first and only thing he asks for. Hey, its always here, but it just stays here, same amount, same place, I dont touch it unless I give it to him. I know blah blah blah :)) I seriously do NOT know how I got to this place I am in unless by the faith of God. Hugz again Sunni -------------------- These Dreams are Tied to a Horse that never Tires | ||
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Posted: March 3, 2009, 7:35 PM
Hey Cleo,
How are you? I was thinking of you today because i know it is two months now that we both have not touched pot! We Rock! Keep posting. Looking forward to reading you again! | ||
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Posts: 257
Joined: December 30, 2008
Posted: March 4, 2009, 7:16 PM
Cleo,
I'm the one who posted the previous post. (Guest). I must be doing something wrong when i logged in. Fleur | ||
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Posts: 61
Joined: January 4, 2009
Posted: March 5, 2009, 7:36 AM
Hey Fleur - my little clean angel I'm so proud of you! I'm so proud of me! 2 months it really is amazing isn't it?
It is strange getting used to life being straight. I actually had a really bad day yesterday and for the first time in ages had a really big craving for pot. It was such an escape for me and such a crutch. It is sometimes hard to have to deal with the reality of life and not go and get stoned and just forget all your problems. Of course I've been on a roller coaster. I've been really really down and depressed and desperately trying to shake myself out of it. Not that I want to go back smoking pot but sometimes I just wish I could be a social smoker and have it once in a while. I know this is not an option for me though. If I pick it up again then I'm gone - I'll be hooked and back to day 1 all over again and I really don't want to ever re-live the misery of quitting this drug. So I've had my ups and downs but I'm getting there. Your post is very timely because you've reminded me that I should be feeling happy and grateful for being clean and very proud of myself instead of always picking myself to pieces and being down on myself. Thanks heaps for checking in with me. Take care of you and I'll check in from time to time to see if you've been here. | ||
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Posted: March 5, 2009, 7:10 PM
Hey Cleo, i am so happy to see that you have read my post and that you gave me some news about how you are doing.
I am truly sorry that you've had some bad days and that you were sometimes depressed. I've suffered from depression all my life but believe it or not, i find i am doing alot better in that department since i gave up pot. I find taking Omega-3-9 with fish oil helps me alot even though i was hesitant in the beginning of taking it because it has fish oil in it and i haven't had anything related to animals in me for more than 22 years. But i was so sick of being depressed that i decided to take Omega 3-9 and not let the fish oil bother me. Perhaps if you try it, you will also find that it helps. Depression is no fun. It can hit me when i least expect it. Not too long ago, i got up one day and i was so depressed that all i could do was cry all day. I even told hubby to stay away cuz i didn't want him around me when i was in that kind of mood. The next day i was feeling better. I've read lots of books on depression and have seeked helped in the past and these things have also helped me. My mother was also often depressed and i am sure it is a genetic thing although my brothers never seemed to have been affected by depresson. You really, really need to take care of yourself. You need to go to bed early. Sleep is very, very important when we tend to have a depression problem. So please take care of yourself honeybun. Make an effort to go outside everyday and take a nice long walk. I find that praying also helps me alot. I've slept with my rosary many a nights and i've found comfort in doing that also. This being said, i hope to hear from you soon again and i truly, truly wish you all the best. Don't give up. U Rock! Keep posting. As far as my recovery from pot is going, believe me, i too often wish i could have a joint once in a while but like you i know if i do, i will be right back to where i was when i stopped on December 30th. I find it especially hard on weekends, most notably on Friday nights. The other day i bought myself a CD, and when i came home i listened to it immediately and boy was it ever hard to do that without a joint. But i did it and i guess it will weekends will eventually be less hard. I just try to get through it one day at a time. I must admit though that i am liking myself alot more since i gave up pot. I am alot less paranoid and have much less anxiety attacks. I can let go of things that bother me much quicker than when i used to smoke pot. I never thought i could live without pot, but i guess we can cuz we are both examples that we can live without it. | ||
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Posted: March 15, 2009, 8:47 PM
Hi all,
As trivial as my question was about the "cone", I was sincere. I am not smoking pot either. After a veryyyyyyyy long time, I have come to a point in my life where I feel I just dont want it. But I also felt comfortable coming here to post and or ask questions. Perhaps I was wrong? As I feel my question was ignored. Yes we all feel our feelings are so deep and myabe to some it doesnt mean a dime. I just wanted to know. So if I offended, I do apologize Talking about things somehow makes me feel a little better. But I will do my own research I suppose since I was totally looked over. Thanks anyways and I do SINCERELY wish you guys the best. Hugz Sunni -------------------- These Dreams are Tied to a Horse that never Tires | ||
Posts: 44
Joined: January 12, 2009
Posted: March 17, 2009, 9:16 AM
Sunni,
A cone is another word for a spliff, joint or whatever you want to call it. All the best MattB -------------------- mattb12step@yahoo.co.uk Marijuana Anonymous DISCLAIMER: The opinions I express are mine. They are not necessarily the opinions of MA, CA, NA or AA, its fellowships or this board and I do not speak on behalf of any 12 step fellowship. I will simply try to share my experience. 
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Posted: March 18, 2009, 5:58 PM
My Husband smokes and athink athere is nothing wrong with it's nateral and from the earth i really don't really know much about marajuana what can i say to him and where can i go to find indept information about please help me
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Posts: 61
Joined: January 4, 2009
Posted: March 19, 2009, 8:31 AM
Hi Sunni,
Guess the slang is kicking in here. The cone I refer to is actually the cone that you place in the top of the stem that sits in a bong. You fill it up with weed chopped up with tobacco. Burns better with tobacco. You light the cone and pull the smoke through the bong in one hit - so you need good lungs!! Of course you didn't offend, and I didn't mean to ignore your question about it. What can I say, I've probably still got bong brain! :-) The difference is that you get a stronger hit faster, but it wears off quicker. With a joint, the effects creep up on you more and last a whole lot longer. This is a great forum to share your honest thoughts and experiences with others that have been on the same journey and has really helped me with my recovery. You're very lucky that the want and the need for the drug has left you. For me, like all things in life - the more I think about it the more I want it. Lucky for you you've probably managed to find other more important things to focus on and that's a great thing. Things are still going well at this end. No contact with the green. Still have my good days and bad days but keeping busy and occupied with other things has helped. We had a death in the family a few weeks ago and then a string of unfortunate events since so I've been really preoccupied and wishing for the "escape" of a smoke. So I'm feeling great that I've been strong enough to avoid it. Good luck to you with your journey. | ||
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Posts: 61
Joined: January 4, 2009
Posted: March 19, 2009, 8:45 AM
Hi Lornie72,
I personally believe it is a cop out to use the old adage expression that marijuana is natural and from the earth. But - if I’ve learnt anything that you can’t get someone to stop smoking it unless they want to. He is making excuses to continue with it. Some people are lucky – it doesn’t cause them problems! If he is open to it, the following questions are a good guide for him to ask himself to see if he is being for real when he says there’s nothing wrong with it. Good luck. Twelve Questions to Determine if Marijuana is a Problem in Your Life 1. Has smoking pot stopped being fun? 2. Do you ever get high alone? 3. Is it hard for you to imagine a life without marijuana? 4. Do you find that your friends are determined by your marijuana use? 5. Do you smoke marijuana to avoid dealing with your problems? 6. Do you smoke marijuana to cope with your feelings? 7. Does your marijuana use let you live in a privately defined world? 8. Have you ever failed to keep promises you made about cutting down or controlling your dope smoking? 9. Has your use of marijuana caused problems with memory, concentration, or motivation? 10. When your stash is nearly empty, do you feel anxious or worried about how to get more? 11. Do you plan your life around your marijuana use? 12. Have friends or relatives ever complained that your pot is damaging your relationship with them? Who is a Marijuana Addict? We who are marijuana addicts know the answer to this questions. Marijuana controls our lives! We lose interest in all else; our dreams go up in smoke. Ours is a progressive illness often leading us to addictions to other drugs, including alcohol. Our lives, our thinking, and our desires centre around marijuana —scoring it, dealing it, and finding ways to stay high. | ||
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Posted: March 19, 2009, 6:00 PM
MattB and Cleo,
Thanks to both of you for your replies!! Good luck to everyone here. I know addicition is tough. I have pain pill issues in the past, so I take NONE of it lightly. But you answering me meant alot. Thanks so much Hugz Sunni~~~~~~~~~ This post has been edited by Sunni on March 19, 2009, 6:00 PM -------------------- These Dreams are Tied to a Horse that never Tires | ||
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Posted: March 25, 2009, 5:38 PM
Hey Cleo, how are you doing?
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Posts: 61
Joined: January 4, 2009
Posted: March 26, 2009, 6:09 AM
Hey Fleur,
I've been thinking about you - our esp is working again! I'm really, really down to be honest. I'm wishing for the escape of a chuff. I've had such a s*** few weeks and I just don't want to deal with it all. I'd love a puff - even though I know it ain't gunna happen I've been truly yearning for it. So tell me - how are YOU doing? I hope all is really well for you and you're happy and carefree and enjoying your family and your life. I'd love an update. Thanks for checking in with me. Big hug O | ||
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Posted: March 26, 2009, 8:50 AM
Hey everyone
Just stumbled across this website and wanted to wish you the best of luck, particurarly Cleo and Fleur. My partner of 13 years is currently in rehab for marijuana addiction and is due home on saturday. It has been a rocky 3 weeks with many ups and downs whilst he has been away but in our last phone calls he is sounding soooo much better, he is now doing the 12 steps and we are both feeling optimistic for the future. Reading your posts gave me an insight to how he may be feeling. Another post mentioned that their husband saw weed as being natural, not harmful etc and believe me i've heard that all before! My partner has even said that the some of the other people he is in rehab with and have looked down on him as they see his addiction as harmless, but their counsellor said that it doesn't matter even if you are spending only 1 penny on your drug of choice, you are still damaging your life and yourself with your addiction. Just stay strong and take it a day at time and sending you all lots of positive energy xx | ||
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Posts: 44
Joined: January 12, 2009
Posted: March 26, 2009, 10:32 AM
Hi Cleo,
Sorry to hear you're having a tough time at the moment. I noticed that on a previous post you posted the list of questions from the MA website. I go to MA and work the 12 step program. The reason I do this is because I was told that if I didn't want to feel how you are feeling at the moment I would need to find something to fill the gap left by not smoking and I would also need to completely change my way of thinking. After all, my thinking was that of a daily skunk smoker. The 12 steps have done this for me. Today life is great, I feel peaceful, calm, comfortable, happy and am inspired by life rather than depressed about it. I don't even think about using. The steps are very easy to work once you have decided that you want to change the way you live your life. Why not give the steps a go. It will only change your life for the better. Best wishes and lots of love. MattB -------------------- mattb12step@yahoo.co.uk Marijuana Anonymous DISCLAIMER: The opinions I express are mine. They are not necessarily the opinions of MA, CA, NA or AA, its fellowships or this board and I do not speak on behalf of any 12 step fellowship. I will simply try to share my experience.
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