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Dragging An Elephant Around.


Posts: 117
Joined: August 21, 2015


Posted: February 29, 2016, 2:11 AM
Hi everyone

It's day 8 now, I slept ok with my amitriptyline and mirtazapine but still feel tearful and anxious the moment I wake up. I am glad girly that you feel a bit better. It's Monday and I have a pull myself together and get on getting my boys up and ready for school and I take my little girl to swimming lessons this morning. I am trying to motivate myself to get up and go on my cross trainer that I normally use every day before the kids get up. I am so desperate for this awful feeling to go.

Hope everyone is feeling better today. Let me know how you are. Nick xx


Posts: 26
Joined: February 24, 2016


Posted: February 29, 2016, 9:50 AM
I know what you mean, Nick. Hang in there, I will too. I feel awful, I feel like I have the beginnings of the flu, again. This is very depressing, I keep telling myself it has too get better, right. Everyone have a good day!


Posts: 1691
Joined: October 27, 2005


Posted: February 29, 2016, 8:08 PM
Trying2,
How ya doin?
How about that cruise?? When is it?


Hang in there.
Are you still sneezing ?



Nick, hang in there too. It gets better.

Xoxox
Skeeter


Posts: 117
Joined: August 21, 2015


Posted: March 1, 2016, 2:02 AM
Thanks skeeter

I know it does get better, but when you are going through it it seems like it never will! I am on day 9 codeine free and I don't feel too bad, anxiety seems to be wearing off a little. When I get go to bed at night, suddenly my body feels on fire with anxiety and I just want to kick my legs and jump around, it's horrible. I am hoping that will stop soon. I did eventually sleep quite well as I am taking amitriptyline and mirtazapine. Got to do my bloody house work today, I haven't done it for 2 weeks! I still seem to lack energy and everything is a big effort, again I hope this hurries up and goes.

How are you girly and shell?

Girly I really hope your anxiety is getting better, let me know how you are doing.

Nick xx


Posts: 1691
Joined: October 27, 2005


Posted: March 1, 2016, 8:50 PM
The first weeks are tough....but you don't ever have to go through it again.

Your energy will come back! You will smile! Just gotta stay active.

Keep fighting.

Xoxo
Skeeter


Posts: 26
Joined: February 24, 2016


Posted: March 1, 2016, 9:45 PM
Nick, I know what you mean about the anxiety, when I lay down that is when it is the worst. I can walk around and do things, I don't notice it as much. The minute I lie down, ,my stomach starts burning, churning, and etc., then I jump back up, sometimes I cry, I feel like I can't take it. Last night was better, but I am still having a bad time. This is my 12th day, and I know it is better, but my body and soul are having a hard time adjusting, again. Every time we go through this it gets worse, because it is a progressive disease. This is so true, I can tell you from experience, and I can't believe I am going through it again. The thing is my pain is really kicking in, and I do need the tramadol for the pain. I am still deciding what to do, I think I am going to talk to the doctor and tell him the truth, about how I end up taking too much of it. He is very understanding and he does "get" addiction. I actually decided this while I was typing, so at the end of the week, I will let you know.

Nick, what are you going to do about your pain? Update me on everything, I hope you are feeling better, I have thought about you so much.

Skeeter, tell me about you. I am older than most of you except Papa (Bob), I would like to hear your story.

Shell, lulu, Bob, Poopie, how are y'all doing> Poopie I did read all about you, and as I said before, you sound like an interesting person. What is going on with you? What about you, Bob, how are you?

I hope everyone is doing well, hang in there, I will talk to you soon.

love,
Girly


Posts: 117
Joined: August 21, 2015


Posted: March 2, 2016, 3:26 AM
Hi girly

Its day 10 now and things are looking up for me. I slept really well last night, I still have the nots in my tummy and think I may cry at the drop of a hat, but every from Saturday is improving. I managed to do a little work out this morning and I am hoping it won't wipe me out today. My limbs still feel very heavy but I am pretty sure I am on the mend. I will continue with the antidepressants for a few months, as I have said before, I need to take them anyway, my mental health is quite fragile!

How are you? I hope things are improving for you. Do you have to take antidepressants as well? Do you have kids /grand kids? I have 2 boys 13 and 14 and a little girl 3. Big gap isn't it? She was a lovely surprise, but its a bit of a shock to the system! My eldest boy has ADHD and he is very hard to deal with, he's just about holding on in school, only one more incident then they will kick him out, so that is always on my mind, plus he's a nightmare at home too. My other boy and little girl are angels, so that's something to be pleased about. Oh well, I hope you are ok and feeling better. I am thinking about you. Post soon. Nick xx


Posts: 117
Joined: August 21, 2015


Posted: March 4, 2016, 2:10 AM
Hi everyone

Girly - where are you? I haven't heard from you. I really hope you are ok.

Well for me, I am feeling fantastic! All symptoms have gone, including anxiety, I feel great, finally got my energy back. I will never ever ever take codeine again - EVER! I didn't think I would come out the other side this time, but I did, I am very proud of myself, considering the ridiculous amounts of codeine I was taking

So if anyone is started withdrawal cold turkey, I can honestly say it will be hell for a week or so but it gets better, it really does. This time last week I honestly wanted to die, I felt so ill and depressed, but yesterday was day 12 and I was suddenly normal again. Everyone is different, but it is possible. I consider myself a very weak person so if I can do this anyone can, seriously.

I wish you all the luck in the world and I will come back and check this site every day. Take care.
Nick xx


Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011


Posted: March 4, 2016, 8:49 AM

We all go through a "Pink Cloud" period in our drying out and getting clean process.

https://www.google.ca/?gws_rd=ssl#q=...+cloud+syndrome

I'm hoping the next while goes well for you. It will be what it is.

All the best.
Bob R



--------------------
Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous

Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf


AA's HOW IT WORKS:
Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf


NA's HOW IT WORKS:
http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf


----------------------------------------------------------------

--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.

---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

... I need AA more than it needs me.

--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.


...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.

---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.


--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !


---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.


---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.


... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.


---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .


"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
--Richard Rohr


WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)


Posts: 2347
Joined: March 29, 2005


Posted: March 4, 2016, 7:13 PM
hello nick Im wondering where she is to.she most likely got her pills. When you have refills its hard to stop ...but just maybe shes busy I no when I don't have pills im active here and sometimes still with pills Im here.ok hope your all doing your best,poopie

--------------------
just remember we are here to hold your hand..


Posts: 60
Joined: September 3, 2015


Posted: March 5, 2016, 12:51 AM
Nick,

How are you coming along?? Surely hope a a bit better now... But I know how long it takes and when u are actually de-toxing, every minute is like an hour and every hour is like days... Things just drag so slowly that it's unreal....... I've been lucky enuff to find something this time around that really really helps. There is no miracle of course and this (like everything) only works if you let it. Learning to let things happen is super hard when most of us here want immediate satisfaction. Well- that's not really what I meant- not that we want immediate satisfaction -its more that the horrible and horrific feelings of WD and detox take SO long and are so personally, emotionally, physically, spiritually draining that it sux beyond belief. I sincerely hope that all of us are able to get thru this ordeal and come out on the other side as a better, more thoughtful and more appreciative human being. if anyone wants to chat more I will absolutely be around.
Be blessed,
~OL


Posts: 117
Joined: August 21, 2015


Posted: March 5, 2016, 2:48 AM
Hi everyone

Poopie/OL
Thanks for replying to me, it means a great deal to know people are wishing me well. I hope you are all ok. I am a bit concerned that we haven't heard from girly though, I do hope she's ok.

I still feel really good, I have made it without codeine for 2 weeks and I feel so much better. I believe the pills are still in the house somewhere, my husband took them off of me and I also have some codeine cough linctus in my draw but have absolutely no cravings or anything. The hell I went through last week has totally put me off forever. The problem is that when you have been clean for 6 months, you then think "well I am sure I could take a few just this once" thinking it will be a one off, but that's stupid right? Its never gonna happen, and you are back to square one. This time was my third time of quitting and I can say 100% I will never do this again. If I have the urge to take some in the future I will tell me husband and he will sort me out!

I will never forget this detox, I can not do this again, I let myself and my family down for a stupid little high that doesn't last much more than one hour! I have told my doctor to never prescribe them again, no matter what I say.I have responsibilities and need to be with it not constantly thinking about codeine.

Please keep me updated on how you are all getting on, I thinking about you all and can reassure you it gets a bit better each day. Take care. Nick xx


Posts: 117
Joined: August 21, 2015


Posted: March 6, 2016, 4:40 PM
Hello

I haven't heard from anyone, are you all ok? It's mothers day in the UK today and I have had a lovely day with my kids husband, sister and parents, I had a few glasses of wine but have had absolutely no cravings for codeine. My husband has thrown every single pill away and I am so glad. I feel pretty much normal now and have been spoilt today!

Please keep me updated, I am hoping everyone is well, I am constantly thinking of you all, please please let me know how you are, I do worry about you as I know the pain and suffering is so bad. I can't believe it's been 2 weeks codeine free for me. Please persevere, I have done it, so anyone can. All the best to you. Please girly, OL and shell and anyone who needs to talk I would love to hear from you. All the very very best, Nick xxxx


Posts: 117
Joined: August 21, 2015


Posted: March 7, 2016, 11:58 AM
Where has everyone gone?


Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011


Posted: March 7, 2016, 12:54 PM
I just returned home from my Monday morning AA meeting that I chair.

All is well.

Bob R

--------------------
Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous

Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf


AA's HOW IT WORKS:
Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf


NA's HOW IT WORKS:
http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf


----------------------------------------------------------------

--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.

---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

... I need AA more than it needs me.

--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.


...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.

---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.


--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !


---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.


---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.


... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.


---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .


"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
--Richard Rohr


WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)


Posts: 2347
Joined: March 29, 2005


Posted: March 7, 2016, 6:10 PM
well--I ran out of pills again..noe I don't get sick at all. I feel a little tried .little down. But that's about it,im on a low doze--I get them again Thursday. And will be ok.I just don't get down because I abused at a low doze. But don't really get depressed or sad.I want them .But craving them is low.poopie

--------------------
just remember we are here to hold your hand..


Posts: 1691
Joined: October 27, 2005


Posted: March 13, 2016, 6:48 PM
Nick,
You're almost at 3 weeks now right? How are you?
How do you cope with cravings? They can leave me absolutely breathless at times.
Maybe you're lucky -- and not having any. :)

Just wanted you to know I've been watching your journey, and every time you post an update it gives a lot of lurkers, readers, and veterans some hope.

I have been a pain pill addict for over 10 years. I'm a chronic relapser. When I relapse, I only binge for about a week.....and then put myself through the agony of W/Ds. The w/ds are awful every time.


My binges have become shorter and shorter because deep down I want to be sober: im just totally incapable of dealing with cravings. My rat brain just goes on auto pilot and well....you know the rest.

I've decided to do something I never ever. Ever thought I would do
In a million years. Try NA. I'll update on my experiences.

Stay strong Nick, you're going to get better.


Xoxoxox skeeter


Posts: 117
Joined: August 21, 2015


Posted: March 14, 2016, 4:07 AM
Hi skeeter

That's so nice of you to think of me. Yes I am about 3 weeks codeine free! I feel fine cravings don't really bother me to be honest. If I do think about how nice a few codeine pills would be, I just think back to the withdrawals, I must admit the last withdrawal, which was my third, was so much worse than the others, but I might just have forgotten. I will never go back now, I can't put myself and my family through it again.

So you are clean at the moment? What happens to you when you are withdrawing? It seems I am one of the very few that the anxiety and depression is so horrendous I just want to die! The physical withdrawals are nothing compared to them. That's the main thing for me.

I have recovered from it all now, but I have depression problems for years so generally need to be on them permanently which I don't mind. I am due a steroid injection in my back so they should be no need for pills at all - I hope! Keep up the good work. Nick xx


Posts: 117
Joined: August 21, 2015


Posted: March 17, 2016, 2:00 AM
Hi everyone

I want to know where everyone has gone? I am doing really well, haven't really thought about codeine for a while, I feel great and healthy. But I am worried that I haven't seen any posts from girly, poopie, skeeter, shell. I hope you are all ok. I have been thinking about you all.

Nick xx


Posts: 117
Joined: August 21, 2015


Posted: March 27, 2016, 1:27 AM
Hi everyone

I still have no idea where you have all gone! I just thought I would update whoever reads this post. I am 5 weeks codeine free and I am feeling pretty good. I still occasionally think about but not very much. I have no intention of ever even looking at a codeine pill again!

I hope everyone else ok. Please someone let me know how you are getting on. I don't understand why everyone seems to have vanished, I do hope things are ok.

Poopie, girly, skeeter, shell etc, please post and update me.

Happy Easter! Nick xx
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