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Posts: 1
Joined: January 12, 2014
Posted: January 12, 2014, 4:04 AM
Hi, I just got married in March of 2013. Just recently I found out that my husband has a meth addiction. I have no words to describe how I feel right now. Ever since we got married my husband would disappear for days, spend countless hours in the bathroom, had very strange sleeping habits which I was totally new to. He still has not told me about his addiction himself but I have found out from others around me. He is in a rehab facility now where he is getting help but I feel like he has hidden such a big thing from me and i am scared. I never even knew anything about the drug until now. I have been reading up on it and am more scared then ever. From what his friends have told me he was doing cocaine before and then got on to meth for the past two years. He is getting help but I am very scared. We just had a miscarriage which was really hard for me to deal with. I love him a lot and want to help or want him to let me in but he has made me so distance from him. He has never hurt me physically but emotionally I am shattered.
I don't know what to do. I mean like what should i do to help? Or can i even help him? I don't want to loose him to this drug. I love him to much and cant even think about not being with him ever. Any suggestions or words to help me cope? Sincerely, a distorted wife | ||
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Posted: January 13, 2014, 11:44 PM
Honey, I am sorry about the miscarriage, really. I am sorry that your husband is going through what he is.
Any words of wisdom? Take care of you. Drug addiction isn't something that you can "contend" with...it always wins. Love has nothing to do with it. I'm not suggesting that he doesn't care about or love you, but I am saying that until he decides to live differently... Love your family, friends, him and most importantly, you. Things will take care of themselves, I guarantee. | ||
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Posts: 14
Joined: December 16, 2014
Posted: January 12, 2015, 11:39 AM
I'm so sorry for your pain. I have been with my husband for 10 years and we just got married Feb. of 2013 and I too just found out my husband has a Meth addiction as well and has been cheating on me. It is very hard to deal with and i'm sorry you are having to go through this pain as well. I'm sad to say that there is no way to help him unless he wants the help for himself. The drug takes precedence over anything and everything else. It is so hard to understand and the pain is unbearable at times. The only advice I can give is to take care of yourself. We spend so much time hurt and trying to help them that we completely forget about ourselves and become codependent. Look into Naranon or Alanon meetings or Celebrate Recovery. I started those programs last week and am praying they will help me get through this. I wish I could give you the words to understand or help you feel less pain. I wish I had that for myself as well. I will be praying for you.
God Bless *HUGS* | ||
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Posted: January 12, 2015, 11:58 AM
I, too, was married to an addict and was shocked when I learned the truth. I wish I could go back 20 years and talk to myself. This is what I would say:
Is your husband in an inpatient treatment facility? If so, they should have a family support program. I strongly encourage you to attend such a program, or Al Anon or NAR Anon. They are in the telephone book, have a meeting list online, and should have a hotline number. Addiction is a family disease. The addict chooses drugs to self-medicate, and the codependent is addicted to the addict in terms of feelings (ups, downs, and sideways). You are powerless over someone else's addiction. Learn to love with detachment. Learn to set boundaries so that you take care of yourself. This gets you on good footing, and puts the responsibility of the addiction back onto the addict. Good luck, Fly | ||
Posts: 27
Joined: December 31, 2014
Posted: January 12, 2015, 12:26 PM
And checking in here to read the words again and again and again. It really helps to keep you strong.
-------------------- If you have no voice, scream. If you have no legs, run. If you have no hope, invent. Alegria | ||
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