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Posts: 452
Joined: April 12, 2005
Posted: September 20, 2007, 2:06 AM
Hello,I would like to hear from some people that has been on sub. and was cut off for whatever the reason be to only find out you can no longer get suboxone ,I didnt have time to wean myself off because i didnt even know my dr. was cutting me off .I did try to work with the last few sub. pills i had left to cut from 8mgs then i went down to 4mgs to 2mgs a day.it really wasnt too bad.Until I ran completly out.They say or my dr. i was seeing from day one that sub. withdrals are not as bad as pain pills.I found out it is very hard just as hard and what makes it so bad I went back to useing peracets,;loracets ect....Im still withdraling from the sub. even when i have pain pills.I have a friend that still sees the dr. i was seeing and she would trade or sell me like 20 sub. a month.Well,She has pretty much said she would not sell me anymore or trade .I probley could have been over the w/d's by now from suboxone.But,like a dummy i excepted the sub. like 20 tab. for two months.My friend only did this two seprate times.Now,Im just out luck i guess you could say.I'm back on the pain pills and they help to keep me from really nutting up but,i still have the w/d feeling but its like going from loracet 10mgs to tynol 3's.I didn't have depression no where near what i felt before sub.The sub. really helped my depression. Know I'm just going back down into a deep depression.My stomach and body aces so bad ,the hot sweetie feeling i have just drives me insane.If anyone has come off of sub. after takeing for atleast six months or more or got addictied to sub. and had to go back on pain pills please tell me your story....Thanks crystal
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Posts: 550
Joined: June 27, 2007
Posted: September 20, 2007, 12:40 PM
I relapsed after my Sub therapy was abruptly discontinued. I went from 8mg. to nothing in a week and it was too fast. The physical withdrawals were manageable but I just wasn't ready mentally and I went back to pain pills 4 days after my last Sub. I found another doctor in my area who's working with me now. I see from another post where you asked if Medicaid covered Sub. We wouldn't know what kind of coverage you have so you should call your case worker to answer that. It appears that you were getting your Sub from a friend. If you're serious about getting off pain pills, you need to find an addiction specialist who will work with you. I guess your first task will be to find out how to pay for the treatment. I'm uninsured so all my care comes out of my pocket but it's worth it to me to be able to live my life without the pain pills. Good luck to you.
-------------------- Callie Somewhere beyond myself...I wait for my arrival | ||
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Posts: 452
Joined: April 12, 2005
Posted: September 21, 2007, 12:08 AM
Callie,
Hello,Thanks for your respones.I thought i did have a good addiction spec. It took me along time to find him.I live in a very small county.There are not many sub. dr. here when i found my dr.......I have not always had medicaid and have it bc of my husband accident .These caseworkers here dont have a clue to what medicaid covers .When i went to see my sub. doctor i paid cash only also.Then I said i got sub. from a friend I had been on sub. for over one year .The friend i got sub. from it only happen 20 one month 20 the next.I tried to cut back and get off but it did happen.We are all different and for you to say Im not serious with recovery?You dont know me at all.Even when on sub. i didnt consider that as recovery.I seen at as a way to get off all the other pills i had to have to feel just a little normal.On sub. i felt normal i didnt feel the depression no where near what i felt on pain pills.I thought sub. would be easier to get off.Everyone is different and has thier own experence.I just asked for peoples experence or who has been Hooked on SUBOXONE and had to come off and COULD NOT FOUND OR AFORD ANOTHER SUB> DR. ?Thats what i wanted to know...I seen a post where someone said oh,people can afford to get there choose of drug but not afford help.For me i didnt spend alot of money on my choice of drug and they money im willing to pay and did pay for sub. and dr. coverage it would and was alot more then i spent out on peracet ect....My family and i are having a hard time right now since my husband accident .I have two teens girls who has needs .I have always put the money on thier needs first no matter what. But, in the long run on sub. life was much easier .I look at sub. like this when you have a high blood you take a pill to bring it down .A dieabetic has to have there medicine also.IN no im i in recovery.Im Crystal Im a Addict .I wish i could say oh your so wrong im clean im not useing or i dont ever think of useing.I do pray everyday for God to help me show me what i need to do.i would take a bullet or whatever pain i had to if i knew the answer to how i can get clean and stay clean. -------------------- [COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue].gif[/IMG] http://avatarhell.com/a/avatarhell_...oneandstuff.jpg[/IMG][IMG] | ||
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Posts: 550
Joined: June 27, 2007
Posted: September 21, 2007, 3:31 AM
Chrystal,
I'm sorry you misunderstood my response to you. I was in a bit of a hurry when I wrote it so I may not have been as careful in expressing myself as I should have been. I didn't say I thought you weren't serious about your recovery. I said, "If you're serious about getting off the pain pills..." I did tell you my experience going from Sub back to pain pills and I tried to answer your question about Medicaid. You said your caseworkers don't know what Medicaid covers? There should be a telephone number on the back of your card that you can call to see what your benefits are. If you don't have that, I believe you should be able to call your caseworker and get the number to your benefits coordinator. I know there aren't very many addiction specialists to choose from. I had the same problem and it took some doing to get into the one I have now. If you find that Medicaid will cover treatment, perhaps you could persuade your previous doctor to work with you again. I hope this helps. ~Callie~ -------------------- Callie Somewhere beyond myself...I wait for my arrival | ||
Posts: 3434
Joined: November 11, 2005
Posted: September 21, 2007, 10:44 AM
http://addictionrecoveryguide.com/m...&hl=gagrl28help
Crystal without having to type over what I said to you in June I will just post the link. You never came back with a response when you were posted to back then, so I will ask you again, what are you currently taking? If anything? And I will reiterate that you keep holding on to the past i.e. the doctor cutting you off and your friend was treated differently, so what, there is nothing you can do about it. As I said before you had to have played a part in him cutting you off, please do not take offense to this, but doctors just don't say 'OK you are done' without a good reason, it just doesn't happen that way. So move forward, if you are wanting recovery you have to be proactive in finding it. Call medicaid, if they don't know the sub doctors office personal should. Go to naabt.org register, they have a patient/doctor matching system that is very successful. YOU ask the doctors if they take your medicaid plan. We all can do anything if we want it bad enough. I can't recall but why were you on pain pills in the first place? pain issues? Let me hear from you. -------------------- Brooke brook_shire@yahoo.com | ||
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Posts: 3434
Joined: November 11, 2005
Posted: September 21, 2007, 11:44 AM
I also want to add, you have said you were taking about 450 pp per month, and sub at the same time you were addicted to both. ARE you still on this amount? Did you know while taking sub that taking an opiate will have no effect on a person at all? Except for overdose? You also stated that you had gotten from the doctor 90 sub tablets with two unfilled sub scripts that had expired. This tells me you were alternating between sub and mostly pp. Am I correct? I think that is what you said before. Unless I misunderstood.
Are you on an antidepressant currently? Crystal you need to want to get clean, find a doctor that understands addiction/depression, then go to some type of support group or aa/na program, one on one counseling whatever it takes. I do believe you want to clean up, no doubt in my mind, but you need to do a lot of leg work to get there. You have been given good advise from here and the pp board, you need to execute it. Sure we all wish it would just go away, the answer isn't in a pill or we wouldn't all be here. Now I am going to ask the aged old question, you say you have no money, yet you found a way to get 450 pp per month. I know they didn't come from doctors unless you were doctor shopping. If that is the case and medicaid paid for this then you risk a felony and tons of fines, and prison. So we are back to a costly addiction. Let's say hypothetically you paid off the street a buck a piece, that is 450.00 dollars, which my guess is you paid far more than that from a drug source. Listen it is none of my business how you got them, but I am trying to help you see if you can find the money to pay for pp you can find a way to get sub along with a strong program and stop the madness of alternating and or using them together which is BTW dangerous as hell due to people overdosing trying to do that. This alone should be a deterrence. I can tell you this, mixing sub and pp will mess the chemistry up in our brains which will cause a chemical imbalance. Make the right choice, you do have options. -------------------- Brooke brook_shire@yahoo.com | ||
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Posts: 550
Joined: June 27, 2007
Posted: September 21, 2007, 2:14 PM
Ok, so I wasn't reading her wrong. I thought I remembered her from awhile back but thought it could be a different person. In that case, I stand behind my original post even more now. I'm a little slow and a little too naiive. Thanks guys!
Hi Sabrina Hi Brooke Hi Kerri -------------------- Callie Somewhere beyond myself...I wait for my arrival | ||
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Posts: 3434
Joined: November 11, 2005
Posted: September 21, 2007, 2:21 PM
Hey Callie girl, how you be?
Crystal is a sweetheart she really is, just like most of us, she is caught up in that cycle, and if we can get out of it she can. And she will when she is ready. My biggest concern with her or anyone using sub and pp together or swapping them out back and forth is such a dangerous game to play. Might as well be playing Russian Roulette, it scares me. email sometime, see email below.. -------------------- Brooke brook_shire@yahoo.com | ||
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Posts: 550
Joined: June 27, 2007
Posted: September 21, 2007, 2:45 PM
Hey Brooke,
I'm doing much better, thanks. Hope all is well with you. Yes, I felt compelled to answer Crystal because I sensed she was in real dire straights. I guess, as time goes on, I'm becoming a bit hard nosed. I really don't mean to be but it bothers me that people continue to use Sub the way they do. It makes the process that much more difficult for people who are in Sub therapy to work within the strict boundaries that have become necessary due to illicit use of the drug. I know I'm never going to change the way people abuse Sub but, dang it...I've a right to at least let them know that it rubs me raw! Anyway...this is not my thread and I'm not here to jab anyone. I hope Crystal does find an answer to her predicament that ends this frustrating and dangerous cylce she's in. I've copied down you email and I'll write sometime soon! Love ya, -------------------- Callie Somewhere beyond myself...I wait for my arrival | ||
Posts: 2606
Joined: July 13, 2007
Posted: September 21, 2007, 4:22 PM
Hey guys......I agree with what you are saying about using sub the way it is intended. I posted my "opinion" on the PP board where this thread was also started. Twice actually. So, I'll not do it a third time. Hope everyone is having a good day!
This post has been edited by RKT on September 21, 2007, 4:23 PM -------------------- Me & Rob.......(bad pic but it's treasure to me)  Faith, Hope, And, Love And The Greatest Of These is Love...... xoxoxo Rhonda | ||
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Posts: 452
Joined: April 12, 2005
Posted: September 24, 2007, 3:07 AM
Brooke,Yes i said in past post i was withdraling from sub. and had gotten sub. from a friend .Ive even sad that in PP board maybe here also.Im not stuck in the past about that sub. dr. cut me off? was just telling again what happen to me since where i am some local doctors are on the sub. list and im hopeing to go and see her.She also makes you attend metteing which i would like to try and maybe this will really help.Im not likely to go to a meeting unless may to do so.Its scary feeling for me.I did have a hard time and still am since i had to come off of sub.I did try to ween off but i didnt make it happen. I wanted to know if what my old dr. could and couldnt do I wonder if it was illegey because all that he does for my friend he told me he couldnt do it.That the DEA could get him.I like to know i can about sub. infor also.The do's and dont's ...
And when you said I posted back I had two expired script and that showed i wasnt seroius about recovery.Brooke,He presricbed me 90 tab. a month.The sub. scripts are only good for six month for .one he THOUGHT i was on sixteen and a half mgs a day right? I was not on no where near what he prescribed.If you looked up my old post and what mg i was on you could firgure the QTY of 90 a month and what i use in the beging 8mgs a day 30 tabs. a month leaveing 60 tabs. that month.Then went down to 6 mgs and down to 4 mgs tried 2 mgs for a short period of time.I could handle being on 4 mgs for a whle. i was on sub.I was dong great my dr. always talked good he said i looked gained weight infact alittle too much weight.He would alwayds say he was proud.But there was a problem.Since havng 90 sub tabs. a month and they would expire in 6 months.I would or could only buy no more then 30 tabs. a month.I told my DR. that thats how i was having to get my sub. alittle at a time.I was able to take one of the expired scripts to a CVS and he RX told me that it was expired and said im going to fill 30 of these tabs but no more off this script until you get a new RX. This was when the script was like 5 months expired.THen I had gotten 30 . tabs twice from a friend i just thinkng im going to try my best to get off.I failed at doing so.I didnt work as hard as i should have.Since the dr. cuttng me out had maybe a couple of hundred tabs i had to get out before expired date.Why im still talkng about this dr. one wanted to tell alillte about my sub. dr. and what went on. wanted to find out if what he was doing is by law. I wanted to know if anyone has been on sub. for a long period didnt get to ween off and went back on drug of choce.This is my experince and i wanted to see if this has happen to anyone else. wanted to maybe find out if someone is takeing off sub. or cut off how they delt with the w/ds.I do want help.I do need help.My drepression is so bad everytime i get on these PP's .On sub. the depression isnt so bad.And another thing I AM UPSET for the way I was treated compared to my friend that didnt come in as offend as me.No i didnt get refills she does .Yes i know there is not SH** I can do about.I know that.This dr. would take my friends insurance and tell her to pay cash and the next visit would but free.And every month charge her insurance until recently he quit excepting from she what she tells me.I know thats not right.I just think this dr. is full of sh** really.He acted so happy for me everytime he seen me everytime i come in.You look so good i cant beive how differnt you look.You look so happy .Write script out and that was it.Now,about my PP and how many i take a day.Im on about 8 to 10 pp pers. or loracets a day.I get 120 tabs 7/500 pers. a month.My hubby get 120 tabs. a month 10's loracet.my mother and law get 180 loracet a month i get about 60 sometimes more.of them a month.And she does not beleive in takeing alot of meds lke this.She didnt get but 120 tabs. and the dr. knocked her up and she would have months supply left .She would get them bc of my husband and since hs accident.She thinks he needs them....I get 120 tab a month from a older guy that never took them and he offered to sell them to me for his dr. vist which is 20 bucks and give him 120 bucks .I make my money back and some . have another i get 90 tabs from for $130.00 and make my money back and still have plenty left from both.Some times a few others here and there but i always make the money right back and have some for myself.I have to not spend out of bill money.So no Im not looseing money on my habit. didnt want to tell all but its the truth you asked and pointed me out on it. know i need help and i wish i would just wake up and say you know kids moms going away for a month or so.Every since i did w/d cold trukey at home i had 2 months clean time.I remember how sick i felt and proud at the same time.it was christmas dec. i had a hard time with my mom not being here and i havent been out much in the two months so i stoped by a friedns and got a few pers. i thought i could use a few for that nights shopping.The next day i went back and then back to my dr. a week later.I FAIL and i took it bad.I screwed up i wonder what id felt like after four months.maybe i needed so meeting .maybe that would have helped but pys. i didnt feel like getting out and i was so w/d from the world.Its hard not to have someone backing you up.help you when no one understand .Im afraid of failure since all the pain and suffering i think what if i get clean time again and i use all over again.it hard I know.I talk to this frined that see the sub. dr. and she bad months him uses pp's herself on sub. I just think i wish i know i was going to but out like that i would have done whatever the man asked.he didnt ask for anything,I thought ok im on sub. i want to ween off but not tell the dr. im doing so i can keep getting 90 tabs. so i could have plenty in case something happens and i cant pay for awhlie and he cuts me off.But i have said he agreed i didnt have to come back the following month.Anyways its done and over alot of new people here that dont know my story.I was talking letting them know i was on sub. past and w/ds .Thasnks for the inforation website i will check it.There is also a number on the back on my card i will call and ask for local dr. and if it pays for sub. dr and med.I hate having to explaain and some people i feel judge some wrong.But,Brooke i know you know your stuff and Im always happy to get infor. from you. -------------------- [COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue].gif[/IMG] http://avatarhell.com/a/avatarhell_...oneandstuff.jpg[/IMG][IMG] | ||
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Posts: 3434
Joined: November 11, 2005
Posted: September 24, 2007, 7:52 AM
Crystal, you will find plenty of back up aka support at a meeting. YOU have to force yourself to go. Then once you get home you are glad you went.
Don't take offense to this, but you find the strength to seek pills, use that same determination to get to a meeting to further your recovery. When you find a sub doctor they should require drug testing as well, along with a recovery program. What really concerns me is you said in an old post that you took percs on top of sub, trying to get that feeling, guess what it aint gonna happen and your chances for ODing increases substantially. What is to stop you from doing this again if you go back in sub? You need to be honest with yourself and the doctors, stop getting pp from the other one if you still are. You will get caught, it is just a matter of time. You can stay pissed at the old sub doctor all you want, he did nothing wrong in the eyes of the Law and there is always two sides to every story. You can't change what happened, but you can file a complaint with the state licensing board http://medicalboard.georgia.gov/00/...6733469,00.html Crystal, anytime any of us put our story on an open message board, people are going to tell you like they see it, including me. Like it or not. Open your mind to read every ones comments and do not take them personally. Sometimes it hurts to hear the truth and until you are clear headed, your brain will be fogged over and comprehension becomes an issue. I know I speak from experience. When we are using we do not see 'the real world' for what is really is. Another option is to check into detox centers and a 30 day rehab. The best move you will ever make. -------------------- Brooke brook_shire@yahoo.com | ||
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Posts: 452
Joined: April 12, 2005
Posted: September 26, 2007, 1:15 AM
Brooke,you said in a old post i stated i was takeing sub. and pain pills for the feeling.I dont recall saying i took sub. and pers. to get that old feeling.I'll have to look that up.Or tell me in which post it was said.I remember coming back here sometime back posting about the dr. and yea me trying to save my sub. I remember the friend that sees my sub. dr saying if i was hurting in Pain. I would help the pain.I was useing for pain issus .And that is what started my pill use.I do know that sub. blocks the effects of the pills.I know i wouldn't get anything out of it.Sub. does help with my pain issus.
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Posts: 3434
Joined: November 11, 2005
Posted: September 26, 2007, 8:02 AM
hey crystal do a search and look at posts in january and march, you said you did this a few times taking both together, I just want you to realize this is playing with fire. I assume you didn't keep doing this because you ran out of sub, the two do not go together, talk about depression, mixing the two alone will mess up your brain chemistry.
If you are having pain issues you need to talk to the doctor about alternative meds while on sub. You said you knew a lot about sub, I think you know the basics, I don't think you realize the chemistry of it and how it works on our brains. It is a powerful little pill. I think you were on it for what a year? I could be wrong on the time frame, but while on it and clean from pp, did you feel you got your life? It is costly, but if you register with www.naabt.org board, there is a patient/doctor matching system, and threads on how to get discounts and even free pills aka sub. You have to do your homework, it is costly, but there are others on this board that have medicaid and their doctors take it for sub visits. If not I understand the cost of it all then perhaps detox/rehab is your only option or cold turkey. Followed by a strong recovery program. Getting back on sub and following protocol is how it works with sub doctors, if we do not follow it, then they drop us. Also if you would break of your typing it would be easier to read than wrapping the words into one big paragraph. Not telling you how to type but it is hard to read when people run on sentences with no breaks. Afterthought, if you have ongoing pain issues perhaps a pain management specialist is the way to go. They are very strict these days, they keep tabs on the pills if it is a narcotic they dispense. Drug test regularly, and monthly visits. You need to cut off your sources Crystal, you need to say no to wherever you buy them from. I know easier said than done, perhaps you haven't hit your rock bottom yet and you are not ready. I am hoping you are ready to live a clean, healthy, sober life. Coming to the board is a positive start, so now do the right thing and keep on track with the thoughts of getting clean. You can do this Crystal, look at those of us who were in the same or similar situation and we did it. Nothing is easy, but having a clear mind without chemicals is the prize at the beginning of a new road. -------------------- Brooke brook_shire@yahoo.com | ||
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Posts: 3434
Joined: November 11, 2005
Posted: September 26, 2007, 8:18 AM
http://addictionrecoveryguide.com/m...ST&f=19&t=54325
A great post by another poster. Excellent information. -------------------- Brooke brook_shire@yahoo.com | ||
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