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Posted: October 26, 2014, 5:44 PM
Have not posted on here for quite a while, enough to say that I joined this forum to find answers as to how I COULD CURE MY DAUGHTER OF HER ADDICTION. I learned through others on here that this was impossible she had to do it for herself no matter how hard I tried nothing worked however I leaned how to cure myself by letting go,stopped blaming myself and concerntrated on raising my granddaughter. I have a residency order for her and she has lived with me since she was born she is now eight years of age. My daughter has always had contact and always supervised by myself.
For the last Two years she has been clean of all drugs, but does on occasion drink usually on weekends. My daughter now has her own home,and a steady boyfriend for the last six months who has never done drugs, and is back in collage. Tonight is the first night that I have allowed my granddaughter a home visit with her mum over night, I know this is right,I know this is where my granddaughter belongs but can someone tell me how to deal with the utter misery I am feeling? I miss her so much, we have never been parted before, I know she is safe just dread the natural progresion that must come. | ||
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Posted: October 26, 2014, 11:39 PM
Dear Wool, First off I want to say how I admire you for stepping up and taking care of your granddaughter for the last eight years...it shows how much you love her and how you have put her wants and needs above your own....I can only imagine the relationship you must share and the bond that has been created.I am sure you must be nervous ...any parent of a addict whether they are still active in their addiction or they are not actively using need to rebuild trust.We are not the ones that changed the relationship they did.Therefore trust should not be handed over it must once again be earned it must blossom ...I am concerned that your daughter occasionally drinks...but I am not there but that is something to maybe discuss with her.She is to be commended on the fact she now has her own place a boyfriend who you claim doesn't use and also that she is back in school...it does sound like she is trying to get it back together and if she has made positive strides it could be spending time with her child may give her more inspiration. ...You could also suggest a night where maybe you could all have a movie night you mom and granddaughter and build a bond letting your daughter and granddaughter know you are there to not only love them but lend support...You said you have had your granddaughter for 8 years...maybe your daughter would benefit from your parenting....but you must allow mother and daughter to bond....they deserve a relationship ..it's not the child's fault her mother had problems....and if your daughter has made positive steps and she seems to be willing to be a mother allow her ...at 8 years old also if something isn't right your grandchild will tell you...it's a step you all will have to take ...One step at a time...at our age we must except that time does March on and we will not always be able to do what we do now or we may not be around...You must allow them to bond and a mother child relationship to be established.
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