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Posted: April 30, 2013, 8:44 PM
That's a good idea, dac.
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Posted: April 30, 2013, 8:53 PM
Maybe those of us who have made it through should think about this for a day or two, jot some notes down so we can write very concise direct points, to make it as easy for others to find and follow as possible. And we can still direct them here if they want to "commune." I'll be thinking..
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Posted: April 30, 2013, 8:55 PM
How are you doing today, Mermaid?? Brynda?
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Posted: April 30, 2013, 9:57 PM
Alison, You are a kind soul This is Miss Brynda. I'm just fine and thanks for asking.
Please know you are a beacon and I mean that. We all need that person who has been there to help us along. Plus giving back helps us as well. O.K. not to be naive, but just what in the world is in this poison? You guys have almost all and maybe some different withdrawls that heroin users have. I just keep shaking my head. I really do. As always the best for you guys. You all should be proud and congrats from me for every clean day. | ||
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Posted: April 30, 2013, 10:04 PM
Mumma Rainbow, You have come to the right place because these wonderful people know of what they speak.
Just wanted to throw it out there that there's a Families part of the Board as well, and there's some phenomenal parents over there who have been through this with their kids grown and otherwise. Just in case you need some support as well from that side. Mumma, I'll tell you that your DD is Blessed. With mom's in our corner we often stand a better chance. We really do. Mumma, and this is JUST ME. I'm a recovering addict by the way. This is an ongoing fight and although you can change surroundings for detox and surroundings away from the riff raff life or whatever it's gonna be there when you get back. Your DD will have to find new ways to cope with that. It's not easy, but she wants it and that is half the battle. It helps too to just put things out there and let her decide. I put my beloved mom through he** and back and it's not easy to see your child suffer. So we've been there. Hoping your dear one feels better and please, please take care of you too. That's also very important. Sending you positive vibes. | ||
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Posted: April 30, 2013, 10:30 PM
Brynda,
That made me smile... thank you... And that's the scary thing.. I don't think anyone knows exactly what is in this crap. At least not consumers. Dac and tog I think posted something awhile back ago about the name of a particular chemical that was used in the early days of this drug.. it had numbers in it.. that's all I know. But it morphs so often that we can't keep up with it even if we could figure out what was in it. I wish (almost) someone with a chemistry background could get a hold of a batch and run some thorough tests. I don't think I want to know... | ||
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Posted: April 30, 2013, 10:39 PM
How long have you been clean now, sash?
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Posted: April 30, 2013, 10:58 PM
Hi all,
half way through Day 3, and feeling ok, still a bit fuzzy, but less so...still feeling shaky and down, but better than yesterday, just went out and got some food as i hadn't been eating, but I got lot's of healthy stuff ready to go! Rainbow Mumma, I'm in Australia too, and I've seen a couple of others on here from Oz too, funny how 6 months ago I didn't even know this stuff existed! I am considering myself fortunate to have on been smoking this stuff for 3 months, I can see from others posts that the longer you smoke this crap the worse it is, but it has still been a couple of horrible days... but I feel like I have turned a bit of a corner today...but scared that when I feel better again I will be tempted again as it is so easy to get! My mind is already throwing the thought up that when I'm over this I could maybe just have a bit of pot again once in a while, crazy thinking, that's how I got in this mess, hassling around for some pot made the fake stuff seem appealing...but my logical mind is saying never touch any thing that would get me high again! Yes, I am going to have to change some things if I'm going to stay clean long term, so I'm going to start going to NA, first meeting is this weekend, but I'm going to another AA meeting tonight, and most importantly I'm going to call someone when the temptation gets strong, it's something I've never been able to do in the past, I hate bothering people, but it really means life or death for me now, because I know that at the end of my fake smoking I was going insane, and having bad thoughts, I never want to go through that again... And I'm going to keep posting, just like yous that have broken through but kept posting to help us through, I want to pass it on... | ||
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Posted: April 30, 2013, 11:15 PM
Good deal mermaid!
I'm so glad you have a healthy support system around you. And it's wise to be plotting and planning your counter moves whenever temptation strikes you, because it definitely will. A lot of things can trigger a relapse. Stress, boredom, loneliness, anxiety... anything... As well as just familiar sights and sounds, like Brynda and the color blue. You have to anticipate every one of those things. And I'm not trying to make relapse sound like no big deal, it's always a set back and never worth it, but it does happen sometimes. The important thing is to get back up immediately and keep going. And always learn from it. Wanna know what I learned from the multiple relapses I had before now? It is NEVER as good as you remember it. I mean NEVER. It's always better in your dreams and memories and fantasies than it is in real life. I would have an actual "high" the first time, and the rest of the first hour (which is what, about 4 tokes? The high only ever lasted 10 or 15 minutes for me.) and then the rest of the time literally felt like I was going to die. I could barely stand. Or breathe. And the longer you are away from it the lower your tolerance becomes so it will knock you on your a** if and when you do go back. You should make a list of all of the physical drawbacks to remind yourself what you'd be taking in exchange for giving up your sobriety. I recently have done that. The number one thing is the cough. I don't ever want to just lay around and wheeze all day again. And every time I would relapse I would convince myself that I could stay ahead of it if I just drank enough water or forced myself to cough and blow my nose more often. Yeah. Doesn't work. I HATE the unproductive coughing that goes along with this drug. Anyway, and keep in mind you always have this site to come and vent to. It really is almost beyond therapeutic to write out your thoughts. And I don't think any of us are going anywhere anytime soon. :) | ||
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Posted: May 1, 2013, 12:13 AM
You are so right Allison, it's so true that the thought of having a smoke was always better than the actual thing, I would have the same thing, get that first hit and go aaahhh, for about 3 seconds, then most of the time I was way too high to enjoy the feeling anyway, and felt so paranoid and bad, I'd swear all the neigbours were talking about me, and at one point I thought they were planning an intervention, and I was hoping that they would, I was going insane! but once I'd had that first hit, the compulsion to keep smoking would overtake me, I guess because as you said the high only lasts for 10-15 minutes, and i would be out in the garage every 15 minutes to half an hour trying to get that aah again, but it didn't happen, and a couple of times I got so high I couldn't even remember what day it was! and the coughing and wheezing!! horrible! not to mention yellow fingers! And waking up so scared and depressed that I would do it all over again, and I did...I've never tried crack, but it sounds the same from what I've read!
When I went to the shops to get some food, I stayed away from that end of the shops where the tobacco shop is, I don't even want to look at it. I had a phone call today from a guy who was friends with a friend that I had who died from liver failure last year, he was only 42 and an alcoholic, I had tried to get him to come to AA with me and had spent nights on the phone with him when he was drunk and depressed trying to calm him down...but sadly he surrendered to the alcohol, pulled his super and basically drank himself to death...that was 6 months ago..well the guy who called asked me to meet up with him today, so I saw him down the street, The guy who died had written an informal will, and had left some of his super money to me, and he gave me a cheque for $1000...I cried, and felt like he knew what I was going through even though he isn't here anymore, and it's like I have been given back some of the money I wasted on this crap, thankyou Mick, and don't worry, it won't be spent on fake... | ||
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Posted: May 1, 2013, 12:14 AM
My new anthem lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJ_y...pp036boHWKKea1a | ||
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Posted: May 1, 2013, 12:22 AM
Lol, now I'm curious, where do you live if you don't mind me asking?
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Posted: May 1, 2013, 12:27 AM
Well lol right now Missouri... Do you remember a few weeks ago the story in the papers about the B2's flying to South Korea for drills and to show solidarity with South Korea and to irritate North Korea? They flew out of Whiteman Airforce Base in Knob Noster, MO. That's where I grew up and went to school. I live in a town nearby now. But I'll be leaving sunday to stay with my dad in Kentucky; and the tiny little "town" of you could even call it that is much more isolated. THEN in a few months I'll be moving to Spokane, Washington. I think I'm in for culture shock...
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Posted: May 1, 2013, 12:43 AM
Here's another one... GOD I forgot how much I love Roger Miller...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nk4b...pp036boHWKKea1a | ||
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Posted: May 1, 2013, 12:43 AM
Yes, I've heard of these places, and as I live in a regional town I know the small town feeling...where I live used to be a fishing town, but now a tourist town as we live by the ocean, and during Christmas ect the population blows out and we all complain about the tourists taking all the car parks, lol, but also a bit smug that we live here, its so very beautiful, but other that water sports not alot to do, but I love the ocean, I sit at the bay alot and let the water soothe my soul, I will be doing more of that from now on, not sitting in my garage! I hope your move goes well, and wonderful things await you there!
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Posted: May 1, 2013, 12:52 AM
I'm jealous... I've never seen the ocean. And Spokane is not anywhere near the coast and even if we drove towards Seattle and such, it's cold yucky ocean, not pretty warm ocean.
And yeah, we have the big "state fair" once a year, and this town becomes a zoo. But most of the people who live here don't seem to mind all the traffic and people; they take pride in it. Me, I won't leave the house unless it's absolutely necessary. | ||
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Posted: May 1, 2013, 12:54 AM
Maybe I'll take up Bigfoot hunting.
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Posted: May 1, 2013, 1:01 AM
If you can ever come to Australia you can stay with me and I'll take you scuba diving!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgPbaoV8Juk This post has been edited by mermaid66 on May 1, 2013, 1:09 AM | ||
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Posted: May 1, 2013, 1:17 AM
W.O.W. How pretty....
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Posted: May 1, 2013, 1:21 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdXY449koJU
HAHAHA This is what tourists can expect in my town | ||
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