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Posts: 206
Joined: July 27, 2015
Posted: September 10, 2015, 8:49 PM
Stopping by with Crutches, to say "hi." Hope you're ok, remember, we've been there. No matter what, don't stay away from you're supports.
-------------------- " Many times I sought the lighthouse The familiar beam in the dark Looking for the comfort Radiating from its spark; Today I turn that inward No longer am I the seeker I am not just the lighthouse I am the light - And lighthouse keeper. " | ||
Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: September 11, 2015, 6:53 AM
ditto! Heck, I have been booting you in the backside for quite awhile now. Besides, you have that 5k run to do LOL.
Warm wishes you are okay and just have a good time with a "TRUE" friend some where. Crutches | ||
Posts: 136
Joined: August 9, 2015
Posted: September 11, 2015, 9:01 AM
Hi Guys,
I've been MIA "! Wishing I could say that about work an still get paid! HA! Never! I've missed the support " an I feel I can say- My Friends on here! Trying to get this post on but with the non-stop texting from work it's been more than a hassle! Definitely depression hit hard last couple weeks!ive not felted like doing anything! So just making it to work all the mustard I have! Finally started taking medicine for that an not missed a day for at least a week"! God I hope it helps! I do feel different nowadays without the pills controlling my life ! I also know I could go to the doctor an get them:( But I'm not!!! However I can't help thinking about. Thanks for checking in on me! Every day gets better but I'm not going to lie it's hard! But what's Harder Would be Lossing every thing I hold dear. -damage is all I can see if I were to go backwards! Nothing Good ever happens there! Let's do this Butterfly | ||
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Posts: 136
Joined: August 9, 2015
Posted: September 11, 2015, 9:09 AM
Here's a tip I found that helped a lot.With the sick stomach.Asked the pharmacy doc he lead to of all things motion pills.Duh! Big Red Truck!! Helped a lot!! The cheapest package is like $1.50
Since it helped me a lot thought I'd share"😊 Butterfly | ||
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Posts: 206
Joined: July 27, 2015
Posted: September 11, 2015, 10:20 AM
Hi butterfly! Good to see you!
Ugh, the stomach issues. I kid you not, I literally retched the first whole year, every time I brushed my teeth. Even certain textures of foods that I put in my mouth would cause me to gag. I didn't think it would ever go away. Thanks for reminding me, it keeps it green (fresh). I'm not kidding. It's good to remember where I've been, because I never want to go back there again, one day at a time. This may be TMI, but the bowel issues too. I don't think it took an entire year for those to go away, but definitely the first 9 months. I thought I had done irreparable damage to my gut. I was never so grateful in my life for anything as I was normal bowel function. The actual withdrawal off the opiates was long gone, but every trip to the bathroom was a reminder of withdrawal. Little by slow everything began to repair... At first everything I did reminded me of drugs, because I did even the most mundane tasks under the influence of opiates. When I cooked, it triggered me. Same with dishes and laundry... But the longer I did these tasks sober, the greater my point of reference for a sober existence. Wishing you a great day -------------------- " Many times I sought the lighthouse The familiar beam in the dark Looking for the comfort Radiating from its spark; Today I turn that inward No longer am I the seeker I am not just the lighthouse I am the light - And lighthouse keeper. " | ||
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Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: September 12, 2015, 4:55 AM
Here I was about to release the hounds on you butterfly. Don't you know you can't leave the post unless you fill out the "bathroom break hall pass" ??? LOL.
Glad you are okay and working your way through this. No pun intended! I agree with Persephone, sight, sound, taste is so much enhanced now I am off the meds. Everyday is such a work to not barff or want to pull off my nose. I went to the store with the wife and all the smells...OMG..I wanted to run outside just to breath! Keep it up, life is better, no doubt about it...just gotta walk those extra million miles, but oh what the road is like on the other side of the mountain. Warm wishes, Crutches | ||
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Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: September 12, 2015, 10:48 AM
It's the weekend and time for some down time! watch tv, clean the living room, bake some cookies, all relaxing things to do when you are at home! Two batches for me please and some brownies would be nice!
Warm wishes, Crutches | ||
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Posts: 136
Joined: August 9, 2015
Posted: September 12, 2015, 11:26 AM
Hey
That's to Funny! " LOL Went to Mall the other evening I picked up a "Hugh Bag" oF cookies An actual no Kidding chocolate-peanutbutter brownies! You know the cost of those Mall goodies! Lands Alive! 1) brownie was $3.75 those 6) cookies $8.90 (funny I remembered the cost! Soo see haven't the funds for your support "For Gods Sakes I spent it on cookies! LOL One more Funny thing -to me anyways) 😊 I actually hate to tell you this-" I ate the rest of those-Just this morning for breakfast" If it's any consolation I was writing to you while I enjoyed that brownie, an the rest of my high rent cookies.Like you its raining here'YAY! I haven't any energy! So it will all be forced getting myself into cleaning mood today! Wishing myself luck! Happy Saturday Butterfly | ||
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Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: September 13, 2015, 4:56 AM
ha! thats okay since I too was eating a box of mint cookies! I could eat them all but I was good and only ate ummm half???? LOL.
Cleaning will do you good and then after cleaning my place you will have the great feel of great accomplishment! Warm wishes on this early Sunday Morning. Crutches | ||
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Posts: 136
Joined: August 9, 2015
Posted: September 13, 2015, 11:35 AM
Morning
Tossing an Turning the Night Went! All day yesterday I was sick at stomach! Man! When does that end!?? Feeling Oh I'll eat something maybe, that's the problem" No! It made it worse:-( then there is no energy an depression.I can honestly say that I've been faithful to the meds I was put on for that over the last week.Feel it has helped.im glad each day when I take them wishing for miracles to push me further along in this process of feeling better! I know with all the reading I've done it's different for everyone.In the back of my head.. My thoughts lead me to thinking 0H! Just one pill would help this! Just One" I'd feel so much better! No! The reason I feel like this is all because oF my favorite go to's "The Pills"! Going back isn't nothing but a Broken Story oF Lies you tell Yourself! So I don't have any other options"'! I'm not going back to What Control My Every Waking Moment! " Flipping Deal With It !! My Only Option! Maybe right this moment I don't feel that well.Im Surely not going backwards to the beginning! My day starts today that's all I have! I'm blessed to have it"! - feeling bad or feeling good"!! Yeah an I have pain that's how I got into this mess! I'd Say That 7years! Is Darn Long Enough!! Crutches 😊 How kind of you to leave a cookie or two lol -I did get one project done yesterday It's been baring weight on me" did it even though I felt like cramp! Pushing through " Like you said I feel a lot better that's over with!Weather the same " raining " hoping the sun finds its way out. You have a super Sunday I'm going out for more motion sickness pills they do help.Its not yet afternoon. So I'm hoping I push through another project today! It's all forced but in reality I feel so much better I made myself do it! It's A Test Of Strength! Having to do whatever it takes even if I get mad at myself getting it done! Proved myself Wrong yesterday I did get it done 😊 Have a nice Sunday Butterfly | ||
Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011
Posted: September 13, 2015, 12:47 PM
Make a coffee and watch this YouTube video. -------------------- Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line: Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf AA's HOW IT WORKS: Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS: http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf ---------------------------------------------------------------- --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. ---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. ... I need AA more than it needs me. --- I fight recovery tooth and nail.... I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural. ...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know. ---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it. Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it. --- I didn't have a very happy childhood but I sure am having a long one ! ---Dry since 1989 working daily on getting/staying SOBER. ---If you want to drink, that's your business ...If you want to quit, that's AA's business. ... Tell me, I'll forget; ... Show me, I'll remember; ... Engage me, I'll understand. ---Most problems are psychological. Most solutions are spiritual . "If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego." --Richard Rohr WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do) | ||
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Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: September 14, 2015, 2:59 AM
God do I know what you are going through. I sit here at 2:50am and each day I am thinking, with my oxy, I didn't feel any pain and I could do what I needed to do during the day. There are times I wish those days were back. Life was good, I was "normal again from the pain I had from my hip surgery. I really thought the Oxy would be a GOOD thing, not a bad thing. Every month it was a battle to not go over the doctors prescribed dosage. My final last use of oxy, I was 5 days away from getting my next refill. I still remember that day, cause I had an appointment to see my doc and fait had it that she had her own emergency and my appointment was canceled. I was so in disbelief that I only had the option of driving another 30min back home to lay in bed deciding what I was going to do. 5 days into cold turkey and I really had no choice. I did not know the ways of the streets and so I sucked it up. My days are good and my days are bad. There is a John Denver song called "some days are diamonds and some days are stone". Look it up, it describes the hard times. There are it, but I tell you, better NOT to be a slave to the meds OR the doctor! I felt like a little kids asking mommy to go some where or can I get a drink of water! That is the best feeling, having my freedom back to do what I want, when I want. Just got to find the happy place again.
Warm wishes and happy thoughts BUTTERFLY! Crutches | ||
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Posts: 136
Joined: August 9, 2015
Posted: September 15, 2015, 9:56 AM
Thanks Papa Bear! I watched must of the message until my phone alerts you have less than 10% data left 😝 the reason being I've watched so many lately.I really enjoyed him, he is a good teacher.Plan on watching the rest- an again.. when data plan starts anew on 17th.
Thanks again an enjoy your day.Butterfly! Had a good day Sunday! listening to music, returns back to the mall (I buy when unhappy - which is a issue I need to work hard on!! I buy one weekend an return the next. But MAN yesterday was He$$!! I was hurting at work badly! Stressing from the emails a the demands from corporate placed on me an I place on myself! It truly was the hardest day I've had! I'm like Stress is a Major Problem an Trigger that Sent me wanting badly the pills! I know I can get at this time from my doctor/it's time. I didn't!! I faught it all day! Then afterwards on way home it's to later to go see the doctor.Okay the the Dumbest thing to do was reaching out to those I know who have them or can get them.Thank God !!" No Luck " only calling the girlfriends I've known a lifetime.I came home an amazing tough it out"! But it didn't stop the cravings for I was hurting pretty bad! Crutches I read your not last nite " I just had nothing good to say 😔 So I didn't post back. I was down an wasn't ready to admit what I was fighting! Such a good Sunday alone of course " But Good! Then Monday about took me out! I was so mad at myself!! Hurting an wanting that so called- quick fix! I can see why so many don't make it!! I have since told acouple people that are my supporters now. Thank goodness! Just talking aboit anything can relieve the stress an pressure -Just doesn't stop the pain.So like you said an I also said "There are Good Days An Bad! No Fast Fix ! The Mind Working hard telling you "Fix It !! Get The Pills!! I'm Proud to Say I got through it. But to be honest if I could of come across sum I would of taken them 😁 When I was only asking at that time for acouple" HA! I know myself to well if more were available I would have must likely got them too! In feeling it's been awhile I can only take acouple! Mind games an pain lead you rite back that rabbit hole :-( I prayin for a better day " Just make it today! Bad thing I made those contacts yesterday an they're to come through today " But late this evening " So I'm hopeful by then I will again Say I PASS! Read only 2 out of 5 make it past this! I Want So Badly to Be In That 2% !!! Wishing you a Pain Free Day! May you laugh an the day flys by!! I'll try to do the same. Butterfly I | ||
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Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: September 16, 2015, 3:40 AM
Sometimes there are no words, EXCEPT... "ahhh pooye"! or "I'm going back to bed". OR some other colorful word.
Wed is starting and it will be another fun filled day. Happy im not on my meds but my headache isn't making this easy. Warm wishes Butterfly. I'm taking your battle cry..."LETS DO THIS" for I haven't won the lotto YET! Crutches | ||
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Posts: 206
Joined: July 27, 2015
Posted: September 16, 2015, 10:18 AM
Hey guys/gals!
Howz it going? Been reading up and it looks like you two are kicking opiates in the butt together, one day at a time. Woo Hoo... I still struggle with sleep issues. I don't know why, I don't know if it was a habit brought about by so many years of nodding off, all day on opiates, or what? But I sleep so much better during the day. I truly have to force myself to stay awake so that I can go to bed at night like most of the population. And on nights that I can't sleep, it reminds me of using opiates. A lot of things "remind" or trigger me. And I have to remind myself that I'm okay, I'm not using and that withdrawal isn't coming. Doing the dishes triggered me because I did everything under the influence. Yuck! I long for the day when I don't happen upon some task that reminds me of drugs. And I'll keep fighting for that day, one day at a time. Best wishes, Persephone -------------------- " Many times I sought the lighthouse The familiar beam in the dark Looking for the comfort Radiating from its spark; Today I turn that inward No longer am I the seeker I am not just the lighthouse I am the light - And lighthouse keeper. " | ||
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Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: September 17, 2015, 1:56 AM
Hey Persephone,
Yes, everyday is a challenge with sight, smell..you name it...but like I have said before, this is better than being tied to a stinking drug. I can go, do what ever I wish, WHEN I WISH. and don't have to wait for my meds to be ready so I can live. Warm wishes " Crutches. Oh and I have a butter fly that says, shes coming over to help clean my multi-billion dollar mansion. 50 rooms, 50 toilets, ect... LOL. | ||
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Posts: 206
Joined: July 27, 2015
Posted: September 17, 2015, 10:11 AM
Dang Crutches, life IS treating you well! Mansion, help cleaning the mansion... Can't wait to see what's in store!
On another note, I slept super duper last night! I think I fell asleep just before Midnight and woke up just before 8 am. I signed in to my online medical records this AM. I had blood drawn last week for my routine yearly stuff that is now happening. I was like Rip Van Winkle and asleep for like the last 10 yrs of my addiction. I missed out on the years before all the baseline and yearly tests. Those wonderful experiences like colonoscopys, yearly diagnostics, etc... They called me the day after and made a super quick appt. to review my labs. So naturally I went straight to cancer again. Anyway, I went on and found out it's High Cholesterol and pre-Diabetes! Wth? I love sweets and everything horrible for me. I am glad I don't have cancer again. But I'm bummed that in addition to to being oldish, now I can't eat good stuff anymore. Also, if they put me on anti-cholesterol meds, then I could go into Rabdo. It is absolutely NO fun being a Nurse and hypochondriac, old and Obsessive compulsive. I'll never see a minutes peace. -------------------- " Many times I sought the lighthouse The familiar beam in the dark Looking for the comfort Radiating from its spark; Today I turn that inward No longer am I the seeker I am not just the lighthouse I am the light - And lighthouse keeper. " | ||
Posts: 13
Joined: July 27, 2015
Posted: September 17, 2015, 4:12 PM
Hi,
congrats on being cancer free... but sometimes again the wreckage of our past comes around and reminds us that there are no free rides. In my addiction I tried to go around every life mountain and mole hill with drugs but only to find that there is no way around them but through and they will still be waiting for us even when we have been clean and sober. But life might suck one day it is great the next just keeping hanging in there. Terri | ||
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Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: September 18, 2015, 3:39 AM
Good morning Persephone
GOOD MORNING BUTTER OH FLY! lol..... Glad you are cancer free Persephone. I too have high cholesterol and I also have thyroid problems. I should take better care of myself but I thought I was when I started my pain meds for my hip. I broke it back in 2004 and thought, that since the stuff helped me after my surgery, they would help me now. Boy, was I wrong. One step at a time. 8 hours of sleep is the quota need for the body, Congrat! sounds like things are good smoothly for you! Its FRIDAY and glad to see the end of the work week Warm wish to you both , Persephone and Butter ohhhh fly! Crutches | ||
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Posts: 136
Joined: August 9, 2015
Posted: September 29, 2015, 10:05 AM
Hey guys !
It's been to long! Meant to write last night, then others things come up😳 I am feeling sum better Just no energy an depression.Which keeps me from replying back as often😔 in each day I hope for a Better Day than the one before ? Hope all are doing well 😎 Thanks being for me! I've missed the borads and our talks Crutches an Perephone@! Let's Fly Butterfly | ||
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