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Posts: 1
Joined: September 3, 2014
Posted: September 3, 2014, 1:53 PM
I'm not sure about this I just came here looking for advice, so I'm a recovering addict, and a few months ago I met a man and we fell head over heels for each other, he told me pretty quickly he had an addiction to cancer meds but I decided to give him a chance and also, he had yet to find out my secret. Anyway it had been getting harder to hide the fact I was taking methadone everyday and going to the doctors ect ect, I hated the omission and dishonestly and it was making me ill I needed to get it off my chest, last night I sat him down and told him. His reaction was sad he was so sad and kept saying "anything but this" I knew he would be upset but I didn't expect him to end our relationship as I thought he would be more understanding considering his past... We cried, I cried all night, eventually we lay down and made love, he asked could I keep him safe (meaning never bringing any and all meds away from him) of course I said yes as I choose to leave it in the pharmacy for daily collection I just feel safer that way, this morning when we woke we kissed and cuddled and I cried a little more, he said " I don't want to leave you, but I have to) I'm totally heartbroken, I fell in love with him almost immediately we have had nothing but fun together and created some beautiful magical memories... I really believe he loves me, I suppose I'm confused about weather he is just trying to process the situation and will come back to me or are we really done? I feel like he is letting the addiction win, and if he loved me at all surely he would fight for me? I'm so heart broken I love this man so much it's not just sexual, the spiritual and mental connection was on another level, it felt like real grown up love, and now I can't believe it's really gone? What can I do to show him I would never jeopardise his or my sobriety... Also if he lets this stop us being together is he even someone I actually want in my life? I'm sooooo confused... Sorry if I'm not making much sense but I'm all over the place I need some advice.. Has anyone went through this? How did it work out if so?? Thanks...
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Posts: 1059
Joined: August 29, 2011
Posted: September 6, 2014, 6:05 PM
cavityblock,
First of all congratulations on your recovery...keep it up. Now...this guy makes me a little mad. Let me get this straight. He tells you he has been abusing and is addicted to cancer medications, but he is upset at you for being on methadone??? What a jerk !!!!! Why should he want to be with someone who is clean and heading in the right direction?? Probably because he's afraid you will try to get him to get clean too and he doesn't want to. PLEASE don't stop what you are doing in your life to be clean. You being clean and staying clean needs to COME FIRST in your life above all else. Hopefully , if he's all that special he will support you. Otherwise you had best consider he may not be the one for you. sorry. granny This post has been edited by Granny2 3 on September 6, 2014, 6:10 PM -------------------- I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH LOVE MY HEART COULD HOLD UNTIL SOMEONE CALLED ME GRANDMA. STOP AND LISTEN TO THE BIRDS SINGING IN THE TREES. WHEN THE BIRDS ARE SINGING EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS OK.[FONT=Courier][FONT=Arial] | ||
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Posted: September 6, 2014, 6:53 PM
Thanks granny
That defiantly seems to be the general concensus among my loved ones but I should have made it clear that he no longer takes cancer meds and is 100% clean from all drugs... He says he is afraid he cannot trust himself in that if I for some reason took my medicine home with me he says he couldn't trust himself not to take it... I reiterate I leave my methadone in the pharmacy for this very reason, I would never put myself in a situation that lead me to being in withdrawal if for any reason it went missing or spilled ect ect.... | ||
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