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Posts: 71
Joined: January 20, 2014
Posted: May 12, 2014, 11:28 PM
I don't know where to start. I never thought I was an addict. I took prescription pain meds because I had medical problems that warranted them. Well....I finally faced the truth a few months ago and realized that when you run out of a months script in 10 days and need to buy off the streets for the rest of the month because you're going crazy with anxiety and playing games to beat withdrawals....yeah well that's an addict...not a patient anymore.
I faced the truth and began the journey to TRY and get back on track. Did great, fell off, did great, fell off, did great...well you know the pattern. I kept toying with the idea of methadone, maybe that would help. Not for nothing it had to be better than running the streets going nuts looking for enough pills to get thru the day, not to mention buying pills is just plain too expensive.... Well I tried methadone...I knew someone who had some 10mg pills. I have been on it for 2 weeks now. Started off not working - I still had withdrawals but it seems to have balanced out and I feel like this might be the path for me. I can now take 30mg in the morning and then 15mg around dinner and I feel normal. I haven't chased pills, haven't had the sweats, no shaking...never feel high or anything, I just feel like my life is beginning to "work". I can't explain it but I like the normal feeling. I love waking up in the morning and being able to go thru my day without worrying about how many pills I have and if I have enough to beat getting sick.... Now here's my problem...... I have gotten them from a friend. I can't keep doing that. Should I go to a clinic and just be honest with them? I can't bring myself to face my dr and tell her. She's been a great friend to me and I feel so ashamed. I have to admit though, I feel like methadone is keeping my pain in check and making me feel like a human being again... Any suggestions?? Thanks for listening........ Lori | ||
Posts: 1059
Joined: August 29, 2011
Posted: May 13, 2014, 4:46 PM
Hi Lori,
Reading your story took me back to when I too was addicted to opiates(heroin) and the never-ending daily routine I had to go thru to keep from being dope sick. The things I did, had to do, to get the dope, I turned into a person I never want to see again. Because of methadone I have been opiate free for over 20 years. My first words of advice are to be honest with your doctor. What's the worst she can do? Be supportive?? 2nd, Please make sure you go to a clinic that is accredited. Not all clinics are created equal. I don't know your states laws on getting into a clinic but your doctor might. To be honest if you don't have opiates in your system I don't know if they will take you in. I just spoke to the manager at my clinic and she said to go in and speak to the manager of the clinic. It would be up to her. You can tell them you have been using street methadone rather than using . You may have to use to give them a "dirty" urine. Going onto a maintenance program requires more history of using. I had to prove I had 2 failed attempts at detoxing. I think any failed attempts at treatments would help, but you will have to talk to them to see. In most cases honesty will be the best policy. They do check. When If you are really truly ready to clean up then go to the clinic you choose and do what they suggest. Go to meeting there at the clinic, if they have them and follow their rules. PLEASE don't listen to the "lobby doctors". Every clinic has them. They are patients who are in the program but they are also very misinformed and uneducated about methadone so they spread lies and wives tales about it. If you have questions please ask your clinic counselor, the clinic manager or come here and we will give you the truthful answers. Going to outside meetings are an added recommendation for more support, but be aware that NA doesn't care for methadone. You said you have seen the changes in your life since you started the methadone, that is how your life can be. On intake they usually start you on anywhere from 30 to 40 mgs. Talk to your counselor and they will help you decide how long you may need to be on the program. my clinic offers 21 day to 18 mos detox and of course maintenance. You will need to get to a dose that "holds you" meaning a dose where you no longer crave opiates. Be patient with that process. You are on a good path with good options. Keep in touch. granny This post has been edited by Granny2 3 on May 13, 2014, 5:09 PM -------------------- I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH LOVE MY HEART COULD HOLD UNTIL SOMEONE CALLED ME GRANDMA. STOP AND LISTEN TO THE BIRDS SINGING IN THE TREES. WHEN THE BIRDS ARE SINGING EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS OK.[FONT=Courier][FONT=Arial] | ||
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Posts: 71
Joined: January 20, 2014
Posted: May 13, 2014, 8:07 PM
Thanks so much Granny; I don't post as much as I read and I've come to really respect your advice and support to many others on here.
Sometimes I feel like a lot of the boards are too quiet and I think it's really amazing how you always try to manage to be supportive and encourage so many people. I just want you to know that I really appreciate your support on here, even when you don't even realize you're giving it. Hugs Lori | ||
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Posts: 1059
Joined: August 29, 2011
Posted: May 14, 2014, 5:26 PM
Lori,
Thank you so much for your kind words. I take recovery very seriously and being involved in advocacy for methadone is part of what I try to do to help others and myself. I found that the stigma against methadone doesn't seem to be getting better, it's a daily struggle and that is why it is so important to me to make sure that only the truth be told here on this methadone site. Enough is enough. If I can educate just one patient to the truth and it helps them to begin a life free from opiates with methadone's help then it is all worth it. I can tell them things truthfully because I have been in their shoes and I know what methadone has done for me. It can and will help anyone who is willing to take the time and let the methadone do what it is supposed to do. If you go in half way that's what you will get, half of recovery. You don't get addicted overnight, you will not get clean overnight. Come back and let us know how you are doing!! granny -------------------- I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH LOVE MY HEART COULD HOLD UNTIL SOMEONE CALLED ME GRANDMA. STOP AND LISTEN TO THE BIRDS SINGING IN THE TREES. WHEN THE BIRDS ARE SINGING EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS OK.[FONT=Courier][FONT=Arial] | ||
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