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Posted: November 18, 2011, 9:47 AM
Hi all,
I wrote a few weeks back. My daughter, 23, has been a heroin addict since she was 16. She has been to many programs, but nothing seemed to work for long. She has been on methadone almost 2 years, was at 130, recently went down to 100 and began using heroin again. She now has her dose back to 130 and I thought things were fine, but I walked downstairs this morning and she was on the couch with a needle in her hand, another in her pocket and drugs and needles under the sofa. This is the second time I have found her like this in the past month. I am again heart sick, but she must leave my home. Does methedone not work for some people? Is her dose not high enough? Does she just want to use? I have asked her to make a plan for herself and to leave by Dec 1st. I go to FA and get support there. I think I am doing the right thing, but would love any comments or insights you could give me. She has only been living at home again since she has been on methadone, and for most of the time I enjoyed having my daughter back. | ||
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Posted: November 18, 2011, 10:07 AM
Her dose is high enough. Its sounds like she cant let go of the whole ritual of the heroin scene.- - The copping of the dope, maybe the feeling of getting away with something - (from the police)- the looking at the bags (they have these names stamped on them that would make an advertizing agency proud- , the cooking of it ,- &- the needle is a big thing> I know people who used to shoot cold water, just to go through the needle thing. I myself have put water into old sets and mixed it with the cotton- knowing that there was no dope, or VERY little, just to use the needle- -
It is a whole ritual >even though you get on methadone, and it sounds like she went high enuff where she is probably not even feeling the heroin high- its still a routine that you are so used to its hard to break. Dont forget she is probably running into people at the klinic that arent serious about stopping either- - she needs to break from that crowd. It isnt easy, and there is very little you can do about it- - I dont know if or how much you enable her , but even if its with food and shelter- - you have to rethink how you can handle that- She REALLY has to want to stop using. Some including myself , stayed on a very low dose in the beginning- so I could still feel the dope. - But at 130 ,I find it hard to believe she is feeling it at all- - Maybe she,ll realize that she is throwing her money away, that she is really chasing a ghost- because to feel a few bags of dope over 130mgs of methadone is very, very rare- unless she isnt really drinking her dose- or she gets heroin that is close to uncut- -------------------- "The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over." — Hunter S. Thompson[COLOR=blue] | ||
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Posted: November 18, 2011, 10:23 AM
been there with my son and I chose not to watch his sickness, in his case i violated him and he has been in jail 5 months..why? there were things in my house, with his child and me that i would no longer tolerate, needles, od's,cotton balls,stealing, checking his breathing...tried to get him out, didnt work so i got him out the only way i knew how. today he is clean, albeit forced but he looks good, has approved visits and will be out in December, we have a good time together at this point, he has learned alot and i have learned a TON, i about lived on this board and read and went to a few meetings and tried to understand more about enabling and alanon...things i wish i had known years ago, but it isnt too late...i think maybe you should come over to the family board, as i dont think there is anything you can really do for her but plenty you can do for you MOMG
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Posted: November 19, 2011, 12:39 PM
Thank you both for your help. It does not sound like raising her dose will help. I guess the rest is up to her. I do go to FA meetings which help a lot; but I am still a work in progress myself.
Again, thanks for your advice and knowledge. | ||
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Joined: August 18, 2005
Posted: December 17, 2011, 10:49 AM
I dont know if your still around- - but mdone gets a bad rap for such a successful drug. remember its purpose is to help you become heroin free. Changing the dangerous behavior that goes with a running dope habit.
Methadone falls in the harm reduction category- - Maybe you can take a look at some og the facts and myths- -they might be already posted- - but they are worth posting again ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rumors thrive under two conditions: high emotion, and a lack of education. "The rumors and mythology surrounding methadone treatment may differ from normal rumors, because the emotionality surrounding methadone largely causes the lack of information about it. What causes the emotionality? Prejudice!" For some reason, methadone, a medication used to get addicts away from heroin (thus getting them away from using and/or sharing contaminated needles, contracting Hepatitis C or HIV and engaging in other high-risk behaviors) is connected to the same negative stigma as heroin abuse itself. ***This is the harm reduction ,Im talking about) Due to this misinformation, there are a large number of myths about methadone that simply are not true. Methadone patients are DEPENDENT on their medication the same way a diabetic is DEPENDENT on his insulin--they are not ADDICTED. When either patient does not take their medication on time as prescribed, they become sick. But according to the DSM-IV, methadone does not meet the require for an addictive drug. An addictive drug leads to significant impairment in functioning, causes the addict to continue to use despite related problems, and results in an increase in tolerance, meaning that over time more and more of the drug is needed to achieve the same effect. Opiate addiction is a brain disorder that causes permanent brain damage when used long-term. Methadone stabilizes the brain chemistry that heroin first deranged. Stabilized methadone patients who are on an adequate dose of methadone (not too high and not too low, and taken every day as prescribed) are indistinguishable from the rest of society. They hold down jobs, own homes and raise families. Many people consider methadone to be a life saver, and as long as the dose is not too high and causing the patient to feel drowsy, taking it causes clients to feel normal rather than euphoric, messed up, tranquilized or high. This drug has been studied longer than most drugs out there. the fact that its still out there, after almost 45 yrs tells us despite the stigma it does work for those who use it correctly There are other facts and misinformation out there so do your home work or come to this board- -and we,ll do our best to answer your questions- - We arent doctors, people should listen to thier doctors of course - -but many doctors dont have the information they should be using- -or they are just so anti mdone peace jack - jack This post has been edited by jackofhartzz on December 18, 2011, 7:00 AM -------------------- "The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over." — Hunter S. Thompson[COLOR=blue] | ||
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Posted: December 20, 2011, 11:40 PM
Jack,
I totally agree with you. Methadone seems to be the only thing that has worked for my daughter. She is back home now and seems to be doing ok. If it were my decision, she would stay on it the rest of her life, but it is not my decision to make. She has said she would like to go off of it eventually, but that will be her choice. Have a happy holiday season and thanks for all the good advice you have given us. | ||
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Posted: December 22, 2011, 2:42 AM
Methadone is the only thing that has ever worked for me too....years and years of drug abuse...same cycle again and again...I wish I had known about it earlier...I still have days when I wish I wasn't on it but compared to the alternative...its been a life changing thing for me...it still amazes me that when I get low on a dose...too low...how my brain and behavior change...its like I have absolutely no control over my actions...when my dose is right... I'm a totally different person...a person I even like...just my two cents this morning ...today is my birthday and Im grateful Im here and clean and able to celebrate the holidays and do everything without worrying about a habit...where to score, if I have enough for over Christmas...having to get up and go out looking...spending all my time scoring and shooting....God, it feels good to be through with all of that...methadone probably saved my life... every time at this time in the year brings back memories that make me grateful for it...
Con | ||
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Joined: August 18, 2005
Posted: December 22, 2011, 9:16 AM
hey con
HOHOHO- -Happy Birthday I always felt that people who were born on Christmas, although special, kinda got beat out of a celebration- - people just merge the 2. ya know? well you get a happy birthday from me- AnD a special christmas wish Sorry , I cant be there in person - - muchlove jack -------------------- "The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over." — Hunter S. Thompson[COLOR=blue] | ||
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Posted: December 22, 2011, 12:01 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET FRIEND!
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Posted: December 23, 2011, 7:55 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CON!!!!!
Hope you have a wonderful happy fun filled day!!! My 1st cousin was born on Christmas Eve.....It is just another day after all...but a really special one, each birthday is....it is, after all, the day when each and every one of us was introduced to this place we call earth and our parents waited patiently for each of us to arrive. I had a houseful of kids last night... GD's best friend and GS's best friend spent the night. This is the first time since June 2010 that I have had my grandkids together in one place. My GD hasnt seen her twin brother but once since Sept 2010, so that is nice too. My ex DIL is here as well...She has seen my GD two times since Sept 2010, once in April 2011 and in Oct when we picked her up from the school she was in. This is the most time she has spent with her and the first time since I became her guardian. So far it has been OK. I am out of food already!!!LOL. Anyway have a wonderful Christmas and birthday Con!!! Granny -------------------- I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH LOVE MY HEART COULD HOLD UNTIL SOMEONE CALLED ME GRANDMA. STOP AND LISTEN TO THE BIRDS SINGING IN THE TREES. WHEN THE BIRDS ARE SINGING EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS OK.[FONT=Courier][FONT=Arial] | ||
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Posted: December 24, 2011, 11:50 AM
Thanks everyone.. and wishing everyone a clean and Merry Christmas !
Con | ||
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Joined: August 29, 2011
Posted: December 25, 2011, 4:15 PM
Well, it is Christmas afternoon...12:15...all the gifts are opened and the kids are having to share the PS3 time...There is ONE PS3 and 2 kids with new games.....So far they are playing nice.The turkey is in the oven,the pie is made and we have all "snacked" on something so we aren't starving when it comes time to eat............ I..............am going to take a nap....... Enjoy the rest of your day......... -------------------- I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH LOVE MY HEART COULD HOLD UNTIL SOMEONE CALLED ME GRANDMA. STOP AND LISTEN TO THE BIRDS SINGING IN THE TREES. WHEN THE BIRDS ARE SINGING EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS OK.[FONT=Courier][FONT=Arial] | ||
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Posted: December 30, 2011, 11:59 PM
NEW yEARS IS AROUND THE CORNER...EVERYONE READY FOR 2012?????
Heck it seems we just get used to writing 2011 and now we have to retrain ourselves to write for a new year.I gave up on going to New Years parties a long time ago...I am in bed like 9PM....Such a fuddy duddy in my old age...HA HA The grandkids have been really great for not having spent nearly the past year together...i figured being a twin would make it even more difficult but aside from him being a little too rough with her on occassion we have had a relatively peaceful holiday. Normally she can hold her own. We went to petsmart today and she picked out the rocks for her new fish aquarium and the fake plants...We werent to get the fish today but she fell in love with one....she decided on a male halfmoon betta,all white.....really beautiful...she named him "Pink Floyd"..."Floyd" for short, because the rock she picked is all black with a sprinkling of florescent pink,orange ,green and blue rocks.It reminded her of Pink Floyds Dark Side of the Moon album cover. How cool she likes that music huh??? She also picked florescent pink,blue and orange plastic plants. With a totally white fish it should be real pretty. Her 2 gallon aquarium also has colored LED lights she can turn on if she wants. "Floyd"has a very full tail,almost fluffy and he looks almost a pearly color.....To top it off she got a little sign that says "Rock On" and it sits on the botton of the tank too. Much more "furniture" and he wont have any room to swim....not that bettas do much of that anyway. This is her first ,very own responsibility so she is very excited.....right now she has to wait 24 hours for the tank to be ready for the fish and since she is on a sleepover I will be feeding him in the morning.....He will be introduced to his new upgraded home tomorrow afternoon.... Well I am going to try and enjoy the quiet....DIL was picked up by her dad for the final 3 or 4 days of their visit...gives me more time alone with my GS. He still is adamant about staying in Nevada with his mom....She wants nothing more than to move to Oregon where the weather is more to her liking...Her MS doesnt do well in the dry,hot,freezing,windy weather of southern Nevada. In Oregon even tho it is colder and wetter she isnt in as much constant pain like she is here in Calif or Nevada. We'd like it if my GS made the decision to come back here with us on his own but so far he doesnt want to......He may have to ,regardless, if mom moves to Oregon after school is out in June 2012......I hope I can take on them both......I will do what I have to/need to and deal the best I can....I am pretty comfortable with my GD already...They will be 15,gulp, in May...... God only gives you as much as you can handle......right??????? LOL This post has been edited by Granny2 3 on December 31, 2011, 12:25 AM -------------------- I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH LOVE MY HEART COULD HOLD UNTIL SOMEONE CALLED ME GRANDMA. STOP AND LISTEN TO THE BIRDS SINGING IN THE TREES. WHEN THE BIRDS ARE SINGING EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS OK.[FONT=Courier][FONT=Arial] | ||
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Posted: December 31, 2011, 3:27 PM
Happy New year Granni...heres to another year...glad to know your journeying with...lets hope this next year is a really really good one for all of us....
BTW...I think I need an increase...cant believe it...but last night I actually had a using dream...whoa...think it might be all the excersize Im getting packing and lifting and moving boxes and stuff...im sweating it out like its water...im feeling like poop waking up and even before I go sleep ...not use to all the physical stuff...maybe a 2.0 just isnt cutting it..lol..ya think ?...hugs Granni...u 2 Jack and all our methadone buddies here...wishing everyone a wonderful new year ! Con This post has been edited by constantine on December 31, 2011, 3:28 PM | ||
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Posted: December 31, 2011, 5:48 PM
Happy New Year to you too Con.... We have made it through another year. How time flies,I swear!
You know me...if you think you need to go up to keep you from using or because you dont feel right on a day to day basis by all means go up 5ml. Then give it a good week to make sure all is well. I dont think the dreams will stop......even this many years clean and I still have them...seems I 'm always hiding and sneaking in my drug dreams.....I get the dope and have gone as far as having the needle in my arm and I am pressing the plunger. Just as I get to the end and am waiting for the rush I think I have denied myself for so many years...I wake up. Every Single Time!!!!!! My other drug dream is not being able to get to the clinic before they close.......and/or once I do get there no one recognizes me and I may or may not get dosed!!! LMFAO....If that isnt the ridiculous brain of an addict I dont know what is! I wish I had your email so I could send you our newsletter each month,you might enjoy it. I do send it to Jack,he can send it if you'd like, if you can find the time to read it. My days fly by and I am at home so I know you are beat when you get home. I assume you did ok on your business trip a couple weeks ago...Still having good talks with the new doctor at your clinic?? We are still without a clinic manager and our asst manager is still out on medical leave. Hopefully it will all be fixed soon. Have a great New Years Eve everyone and stay safe. We just put "Floyd" in his new home this morning and he seems to really enjoy it. Granny -------------------- I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH LOVE MY HEART COULD HOLD UNTIL SOMEONE CALLED ME GRANDMA. STOP AND LISTEN TO THE BIRDS SINGING IN THE TREES. WHEN THE BIRDS ARE SINGING EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS OK.[FONT=Courier][FONT=Arial] | ||
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Posted: January 1, 2012, 4:40 AM
YAWN !!...Oh my...the fireworks were awesome last night...cant describe how it is over here with a million people shooting off fireworks and all the church bells ringing...every year I say Im just going to skip it and go to bed but then...im out there too blasting off the fireworks with the whole town and its amazing !!...almost didnt make it...was sooooooo beat from moving and renovating all day...we got half the celler cleared out and over into the house...waiting now for the workers to come this week and put in the laminet upstairs, then the kitchen and bathroom stuff...gonna be awhile before its done...
Granni, how hilarious...man our addict brains are crazy...In my dream I always score but then run around trying to find a place to shoot...and of course cant find one...lol....have also gotten to the minute I wait for the kick and then...bam...ya...i wake up too...not fair !!... Floyd...I love it...excellent name after one of the masters....oh ya...Pink Floyd...have to say I gave my fish a way for the holidays to a young woman newly divorced and lonely...told her if they didn't make it back then that would be just fine..actually it was gettin hard to take care of them since they got me traveling all the time latley... haven't seem my Doc since I went on the business trip , probably will see her this week or next now I would think...ya, probably need a bit of an increase...hate to do it but...ya...I know...better that then using...and its been on my mind latley way too much...I know the signs... Hugs Con This post has been edited by constantine on January 1, 2012, 4:42 AM | ||
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Posted: January 2, 2012, 1:38 PM
I always look for you guys on the heroin board and here you are over here!
Happy Birthday Con..I didn't know..I hope it was as wonderful as you are. -------------------- I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember. | ||
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Posted: January 2, 2012, 3:10 PM
LOL...awww Thanks CG...I as going to reply to the other post but decided...sigh...too tired...eventually he'll figure it out...might take some time but ya know...Im so done ...people will listen when they need to...I don't have the patience anymore I guess...your right...takes way more then just willpower...took me years to get it...when I was ready...i did...no amount of telling me would have gotten me to listen...today one of the guys from my Meeting called to just check on me...it felt really good...its been awhile since I've gotten to a meeting... hopefully Thursday...Ive so learned that methadone doesn't work all by itself...its the whole package and making sure im taking care of it that helps me stay clean...big lesson...
Hugs CG ! Con | ||
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Posted: January 2, 2012, 3:38 PM
Oh my gawd Con,
This stupid fish is really......stupid!!! Beautiful,but stupid. We got him all fixed up and in his new home.So he swims over to the "Rock On" sign and looks at it and then checks out his fake plants and all is well....at least for a few hours. The GD says,"hey Grandma.....Floyd is being really weird." So I go in to check to see what he's done now and he is nowhere to be seen. This is a round,2 gallon aquarium and it has a round clear plastic tube that you insert into the center of the bowl . The little air tube goes down the center of the tube and when you turn it on it creates bubbles and extra air.....OK?...... At the very top of this plastic tube is a little cap, a "fish guard" they call it to keep the fish out. Looks like a sliced pie with a few pieces taken out. This brilliant little MO FO goes to the top of the tube, down THROUGH the fish guard, down the tube to the bottom of the tank and turns sideways and goes under the rocks........Fish can drown you know....So we rush the entire thing to the bathroom and slowly begin to dump the water out to get to him which he didnt seem to like because he kept diving down away from me and turning sideways to go back under the rocks!!! I finally got him out,alive, and we refilled the tank to where he will never ever do that again.My GD loves the little fruitcake already and has only had him or about 4 days.... I also bought a "Thundershirt" for one of my 6 dogs,Simon, because he gets wiggy about fireworks,thunder,all the loud stuff. It didnt work. He was as scared as usual, one of the minor few that it doesnt work for and thankfully it has a money back guarantee. At $39.99 I am glad. A pretty good idea tho,easy to use and made well even if it was made in China...... Every one is going home tomorrow,my grandson included. I think he had a good time, saw some old school friends he had missed on last summers trip here too and I got some good pictures of him and his sister. This is the 2nd time they have been together since Sept 2010. I believe his mom would leave him with me today if she could but she has other loose strings to tie up before she can make her final trip to Oregon. The weather is wetter and colder than Nevada or Calif but it is better for her MS than the dry hot desert where she lives now. Of course we both would like my GS to come back to my house willingly but at 14 nothing is simple where they are concerned. He may have no choice in the matter after school ends in June..... Well I am off to the grocery store and to buy my GS a new pair of shoes.....Later...... -------------------- I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH LOVE MY HEART COULD HOLD UNTIL SOMEONE CALLED ME GRANDMA. STOP AND LISTEN TO THE BIRDS SINGING IN THE TREES. WHEN THE BIRDS ARE SINGING EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS OK.[FONT=Courier][FONT=Arial] | ||
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Posted: January 3, 2012, 1:48 AM
LOL !!!!...I love it...hilarious fish...im still laughing...oh, and we had a huge dog, big brown Newfoundland who would cower every time an air balloon would go over the house, biggest chicken in the world..loved her anyways...miss her....she was 13 when we had to let her go....big furry chicken...well, today is my last day before i go back to work...the house is taking all my time, cleaning, packing...sounds like you have your hands full too...going to be a wild few months !
Con | ||
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