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Posts: 4
Joined: July 1, 2015
Posted: July 1, 2015, 3:57 PM
For those of us that have stopped cold turkey, tapering, or just kicking the subs. Stories that will inspire and help!!! We can do this!
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Posts: 4
Joined: July 1, 2015
Posted: July 1, 2015, 9:45 PM
I guess I should start from the beginning, but try to only write about the more important aspects first. I am a 25yr old Caucasian young man. I am around 5' 9 and around 173 pounds. I am in shape and have been psychically active through my childhood. I am not a racist person at all, and will not judge others on what they believe. I am also Christian, as well as single, never been arrested (a few speeding tickets/traffic violations), and do not have any kids or have been married. I graduated High school with a diploma, and achieved an Associates Degree in Culinary Arts. I moved out to James Island when I was 19, having saved up $5000 prior, saving when I lived with my parents. Now,Living at Folly Beach, (The edge of America).I lived there for 4.5 years. The first 2 years were typical college lifestyle. Bing drinking, beer pong, girls, girlfriends, marijuana, drugs etc. I was able to pay rent using my saved money, also working various jobs in that area. Soon after that things started to split at the seam. Downhill. Not to mention the money I saved. That's when trouble started and my pain narcotic addiction got out of hand. So that should shed some light on various questions.
I first took a pain pill from a girl at work that I gave a ride home. It was a hydrocodone 7.5. It gave me the best feeling in the world. Soon hydros turned to oxys. I turned into the horrible addict lifestyle of getting your fix everday. Soon I had to take 10 percoset 10mg a day to even feel high...ugh. That's when I hit rockbottom and knew I had a problem. So basically I continued to use, but those last 3 years living on my own with this habit soon destroyed my finances. I couldn't afford to live independently, and luckily moved back in with my parents around 23. I had to confess everything to them, which takes so much courage to do. They were shocked and worried, but at that point I knew Suboxone was the only answer. Ive even bought them on the streets to try and clean up my act, because my parents were not fond of me taking me the Suboxone route. Soon time passed, and with that came a family intervention. I had finally got their approval for a Suboxone program which I entered around 2 years ago. My sub doc started me on 16mg. I tapered down to 12mg-8mg-4mg, and finally 2mg over a 2 year period. That was hard for me. Then I relapsed...Told him, and he boosted me back up to 8mg. Now I'm at 6mg a day and got the 2mgX3 daily. My health insurance stops in November and I must quit. I must kick the sub. I came here for support. Please help me for those of you who have kicked subs successfully, or are in the process. Thank you and God Bless | ||
Posts: 57
Joined: November 26, 2014
Posted: July 2, 2015, 11:52 AM
Why don't you have health insurance? You don't work full time? You cant find a job full time with benefits? You still have time to look. Im on suboxone 6mg daily too... I have been on it for 10 months tapering down... I have relapsed twice previously I was on suboxone like 3 years ago and stopped taking it cuz I was an idiot and wanted to smoke pot and of course it led to percs and then that led to heroin and Xanax. then I got on methadone maintenance and that was a bad idea I didn't want to be on it for as long as your supposed to be, I weaned off slow and little by little but I had surgery right after I got off of it and while I was still withdrawing and ended up relapsing because my body had no natural painkillers and I was in 1000X more pain than I normally would have been.
Im going to do everything in my power to make sure this time is my last time, Relapsing made me get serious about my recovery though. Before, I wasn't taking it seriously. Now, I have a sponsor, I go to Narcotics Anonymous meetings every week, I am working my 12 steps, and I am tapering off the suboxone very SLOWLY... Are you going to meetings? do you have a home group? sponsor? are you working the 12 steps? tapering slowly? You don't want to set yourself up for failure, relapsing taught me what NOT to do, learn from your mistakes! What made you relapse before? did you taper too quickly? you should only drop your dose once every 4-8 weeks (depending on how you feel. go from 6mg to 5mg,4mg,3mg, 2,1, .50 ,all the way down to .25mgs then stay at .25mgs for 4 weeks then you should be able to stop with minimal withdrawl symptoms. Why put yourself through hell if you don't have to. your healthcare provider should have gave you a suboxone co-pay discount card. suboxone gives them to most prescribing doctors. It is a suboxone brand co-pay and discount card you can give to the pharmacy on top of your insurance card(s). It will knock off up to $50 of your co-pay each month (you can only use it for a co pay one time a month) or you can use it for the films if you pay cash for them to knock off some of the price. if you don't already have one you should get it just in case when your insurance runs out and if your still taking the suboxone in November you will be on a low dose that you will be prescribed a low amount it wont be that expensive to pay cash for them and if you have that card it will save you a lot of money. I wish you the best and I hope you get the help you need, Get yourself to an NA meeting, they saved my life and continue to keep me clean every day. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for those meetings. You gotta have some kind of backbone in your recovery, you cant just get off suboxone and expect to stay clean. Maybe you are going to meetings but you didn't say anything about recovery or having a sponsor or going to meetings and I figured if you were going to meetings and had a sponsor you wouldn't have relapsed in the first place. Im just trying to help you cuz I don't want you to make the same mistake twice like I did. It took me a long time to learn my lesson and I wish someone would have told me that If you want results you actually have to put in the effort to get those results.. We have a disease of addiction and we don't get to just be magically cured. We have to really work hard at this, every day is a struggle. Its not easy, but it is SO worth it! | ||
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Posts: 4
Joined: July 1, 2015
Posted: July 2, 2015, 7:31 PM
Thank you BlessedJess for your informative reply. I guessed I failed to mention some important things. Yes I do have health insurance through my parents plan. And yes I do get the Suboxone cards and pay $0 for my co-pay. But I'm so hard on myself its starting to interfere with progression. I put my two week in at a very nice Country Club Restaurant, and I worked my a** off. But still...I told nobody what I was going through. Maybe I should have?? Im not sure but its not something I'm proud of. I saved up money. But all that money is going into paying for a rehab facility my parents are adamant about. But I know I failed before, but I want to prove to them I can beat this demon on my own!! I have nothing really tying me down except Suboxone. I know like I might sound against it at times, but honestly Subs saved my life. They are meant to be on for short periods. Not two years!!! This is also my first online forum so try to cope with me here. So its nice to get support from people like you, and I know I'm only 25 so I can learn from my elders. Or anyone for that matter. So I've tapered down to 3mg, and everything is smooth sailing, except some depression, and random self-doubt. But more than anything I want to start this mental battle and be off the subs, while staying sober which can be the hardest part. I fear the withdrawals with some intensity, but know they are inevitable. So I will take your advise and go slow with the taper. And yes I went to a few NA meetings and they were helpful, but they say they don't believe your clean if your on subs. WTF. That's why I never went back there. I will find new ones. I thank you for your advise and motivation.
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Posted: July 4, 2015, 8:19 PM
Hey K, I'm on day 24 of no suboxone. I've been an addict for more than ten years. 5 of it was suboxone. It's all the same. Wether they are dealers or doctors, they take your money. Wether pharmacist or suppliers, they don't want you to quit. So you have to rely on yourself and only that. Sure, your family will support you and friends will cheer your on but its entirely up to you and if you have any doubts, forget it pall. The relapse rate for suboxone users is literally 100%. One hundred f***ing percent!!! Which means no one ever does it the first time. Or the law of averages says that. The true meaning is that some folks relapse over and over again while only a few make it off successfully. So my advice is to work on the depression because a positive attitude is REQUIRED in order to succeed. Hard work is required and so is patience. It is literally called the 100 day hangover. Not all days are bad, most are good but some suck balls. Sometimes you'll get two or three suck days in a row. But then maybe a few good ones. Prepare yourself mentally, have concrete reasons to succeed, have certain people you wanna prove wrong and others you wanna make proud. But most of all, look at your own life and ask yourself if you wanna rely on suboxone for the rest of your life. I'm not saying you don't want the hassle of doctors or the financial burden, I mean honest belief that your life doesn't need the s*** because there is enough in this world to motivate you to be a success other than prescription medicine. I hope you get well. Take time to prepare, get a routine, protein, vitamins, water, Gatorade, vitamin B and whatever else you need to fuel your body as it rebuilds. It will rebuild. Day 24 is amazing compared to day 2.
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Posts: 4
Joined: July 1, 2015
Posted: July 11, 2015, 1:22 AM
Thanks for your input Kevin. Very helpful. I'm concerned honestly because sometimes I'm not sure if the Suboxone is causing the depression, or the thought of the inevitable withdrawal that is to come. My parents and I have been discussing the possibility of going to an inpatient Suboxone detox facility to remedy this situation. At first I agreed that I should go, but then I realized something. Throughout my whole life I have been both successful, but along with that comes the act of failing. I know that every time I would fail, I would always stop pursuing it, or just come to the realization that I would fail again. It took me a long time to learn the concept that if one were to fail, get back on your feet and try again. Many people often have self-doubt that they cant do something, (like quitting Suboxone) because they failed previously. Sometimes my pride gets in the way, but I know with The Lord, motivation, and support I can do this. I know I can. I want to be able to take the credit of overcoming Suboxone dependency. Anyways, I want to do this without having my parents spend thousands of dollars on my mistakes. But that's another concept. Unconditional love. Which I am lucky enough to have parents who love me no matter what. Another factor is the Law of Attraction. Basically, if you were to go about life in a negative nancy way, then you are simply attracting negativity. But if one is to go about life in a positive manner, and be thankful and understand that success will happen, it will. I am still young, but yet I seemed to lost the feeling of true happiness. It is foreign to me. Life on subs at first was great, and helped me save up money that could have easily been spent on Percocet or Vicodin. Suboxone helped me get back on track, but its time for me to go to battle with this demon of dependency. And I must be well equipped for this battle. Thanks for all the advice and support. This is great to be able to tell others and know that I'm not alone in this.
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Posted: July 15, 2015, 2:42 AM
K, I know exactly what you are going through my friend. I am out of subs and 2 days into withdrwls. I found a doc that will help me, but the utter sadness of my situation has me so down man. Its like, i have seen my own obituary, i see it all the time....our beloved ***** lost his battle with drugs today. He has gone on to be with the lord. I see this over and over, because even when I am on the subs, I am sooooo depressed because I am an addict. I am 38 though, I have spent 25 years of my life as an addict. I would get sooooo strung out on whatever I was doing and then lose everything. Only to gain it all back and throw it away again. well I want this to be my last trip, if I can't beat this then i dont want to go on. that is just the truth. these last two years have been the most horrible of my life, but they have also been the best because I am not running and stealling to get dope. I kicked a wicked meth habit then ended up on the crack pipe, that journey got me a 2 1/2 year prison term. then I had surgery and ended up getting hooked on pain pills. I had finally found my super drug, oh the sweet bliss of those pills, it was like bathing in silk, i loved it. but it destroyed me again. I have 2 wonderful boys now with my wife, and I want to be around to see them grow up. Man you got to go to meetings and remember the reason why you are quitting, becuase this crap is not fun. I wish you all the best.....PEACE DUDE.
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Posts: 57
Joined: November 26, 2014
Posted: July 16, 2015, 11:45 AM
Yeah I know what you mean about the NA meetings, if they know someones on replacement therapy they will say something like "you should think about getting off that soon" or "NA is about being completely abstinent", But the traditions state that the only requirement for membership is a DESIRE to stop using so they shouldn't be giving you any s***. But why would you be going around telling people youre on suboxone lol. I mean were you sharing about it? cuz then that's just asking for trouble. I wouldn't go around announcing at an NA meeting that im on suboxone lol. But my NA sponsor knows and shes cool with it, she said as long as im taking it as prescribed and its helping me in my recovery then she doesn't have a problem with it, and she knows im tapering.
But you were sounding like you feel like you have been on suboxone forever? you said 2 years? I was talking to my doctor and the nurse who runs my suboxone group and they were saying they have seen the most success with people getting off successfully and staying clean with people being on it for a total of about 3 years. So don't be rushing to get off it. Whats the rush really?? Just to say that you're off of it? If you are that depressed why don't you get into see a psychiatrist or even just a counselor that specializes in substance abuse just so you have someone to talk to? If youre not going to NA or AA meetings you gotta have some type of outlet cuz once you get off suboxone you may get hit with cravings hard if youre not working any type of recovery program. not trying to freak you out you just wana be prepared for every possible thing. And the random self-doubt thing is normal, we are addicts so we are bound to be worried about our futures. If you went to meetings you would feel more comfortable in knowing that these feelings are all normal and that you are not alone! Us addicts are more alike than you think. I didn't like meetings at first either but trust me they grow on you. And im about to be 24 so we are similar in age but I think there is a difference between clean time and recovery time, I have learned A LOT from NA and my sponsor and working my steps. And there is another forum website specifically about suboxone that I visit a lot that I think you would find VERY helpful in your plans to taper/get off. Its www.suboxforum.com go to the stopping suboxone page and just start searching through all the topics and see what interests you. theres tons to look at and you will learn a lot from people who have SUCCESSFULLY tapered and stayed clean for YEARS. I don't know where kevin heard this "100% relapse" thing but that is a 100% lie....... Talk about negative attitude... I have heard a lot of people talk about suboxone taper if you do it slowly and stabilize at each dose before dropping again like its just a subtle drawn out withdrawal over a month or two depending on how low you drop, you will find out more information when you get on that website, it is so helpful and has helped me make up my own plan and has made me feel very at-ease and confident in my taper plan. And don't get scared about the withdrawal because of what the previous poster said. Everyone feels different when they get off. I have read tons and tons of peoples stories and they are all different in their own way. Some people get off and have as little as some insomnia and that's about it. Whatever it is, it will be subtle and bearable, and no where near a full opiate withdrawal. Don't scare yourself into thinking you cant succeed. You can! Just make sure your RECOVERY is strong first!! and don't forget to check out that website! Hope I helped! :) | ||
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Posted: July 17, 2015, 6:42 PM
Hey Khauf! Well, first off---I made a username just to be able to reply to you--don't let it go to your head though. Lol.
I noticed that you mentioned the Lord and being Christian in your posts. I am too. Anyway, brief background on my drug addiction. I am 23 years old--female--and saved by the grace of God. I come from a middle class family--divorced parents--but nonetheless, everything "looks good" on the outside when it comes to my family, but there's some serious, serious issues--on the real. I tried Ecstasy and oxy for the first time at age 17 at a party. I didn't like groups of people unless being drunk, so I didn't party often, and of course, if I did--I was drunk. I had a full ride scholarship in high school, got my diploma and shortly after graduating high school early, tried E, that led to a summer of heroin abuse (smoking) and then I stopped and messed around with shrooms, acid, and the like. I would go back and forth from my moms in Arizona to my Dad's in Idaho--I then got into meth and got arrested at 20 years old and got clean. It seemed every time that something bad happened to ME from the drug use, I would get clean for a while, but never really was in my mind, I was just resisting as long as I could. By 2013 I had been through 2 rehabs, taken off with a 42 year old guy, was traveling doing crack, heroin, and meth, and only managed to stay clean as long as 4 months. I am now 23, and this time last year got back into heroin and meth via IV. I lost a good friend to an OD, who actually saved me from ODing, and got on Suboxone because of the heroin withdrawals. That's the short version of my life so far. I just got out of Teen Challenge in Arkansas a couple days ago. It's a 13 month program but I only stayed for 2 months, exactly. I have been a little over 2 months clean now from suboxone. I lowered my dose on the Zubsolv to 1.4 mg before going into Teen Challenge and the withdrawal lasted 12 days--restless leg, cold sweats, etc. I know before going to Teen Challenge, I tried getting off the subs on my own and would relapse on the heroin because of how sick I was. This world is so crazy! Suboxone is actually a harder withdrawal than heroin, but it's legal so we take it like it's no big deal---it caused depression for me and still, after 2 months, I don't feel genuinely happy--well some days. All I know is that God knows your heart and God knows how badly you want to get off the subs, and He will provide a way for you to do that. Don't give up...Keep talking to Him, no matter how bad you feel. Tell Him everything because He cares for you...Cast all your cares upon Him and keep going to church. Jesus' blood covers you and you are His son! He has great plans for your life and won't allow some pill to get in the way of that. Don't wait until you're off the subs to start living you're purpose in life...Live your purpose today! I believe He will make a way for you to get off of them, like He did for me. Trust Him! Look into Teen Challenge and don't let the one who has already been defeated remind you of your past and your failures. satan has already lost. The life is a journey---and God is proud of you---His GRACE is SUFFICIENT for you! | ||
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Posted: July 19, 2015, 3:40 AM
Biggest mistake if my life was ever allowing myself to become hooked on suboxone and let it rule my life. Its great at first but after years and years and years of it you're going to hate it but still need it.
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Posted: July 19, 2015, 2:18 PM
Hi everyone. Please forgive any misspellings. I'm using my phone. I'm not on subutex or a drug user. I have a very dear friend who is on subutex from past use. She is going to clinic that gives her the subutex daily. Before she decided to get help I researched my butt off about subutex. I was 50/50. I gave strong objection to her about this drug. So after she tried for 14 days at my home detoxing she went out again and this time it was bad. I called her pastor who hung up on me her family turned backs on her and told me to kick her out and after I found out she stolen my credit card and things from home it still did not give up on her. She agreed after staying out for over 7 days straight to get help. So she began subutex and NA. She was unemployed and i got her a insurance plan that would pay for treatment with only a $20 co-pay every week.
The day she started her subutex like I said I spend hour after hour talking to treatment doctors and just reading everything I could my hands on about at this drug. I the day she began the clinic wanted her on 18 to 24mg a day. I sat there and listen to the doctor and keep my mouth shut. She was fine after about 3 hours at 12mgs. 2 weeks later she drop to 10 and now she was drop to 6 mg. I have found a private dr here that has her on a list for to be seen. She is wanting to taper to lower and lower mg. The dr at this clinic is the big ### and thinks people can jump off at 2mg.I have gotten into a verbal match w him. I told him just because he had M D after his name does not mean someonelse can't educated themself on anything. He did not at all like this. I have told my freind like most others to listen to what her body is saying. She now has gotten a new job and plans to taper more very slowly. I think w the rigth mind set she can do this. Some her family is now back in touch w her after a verbal a$@ raping from me. The main thing I what to say is I'm more educated about drug addiction then ever before. Do I agree w some of the people excuses of going back out no I will never. But I have learned to be supportive and not judgemental of people who have to take small steps in order to get somewhere. I was lucky in my life to have a wonderful childhood and wonderful parents. Great jobs. I know now some people are not that lucky and w a strong supportive friend they can go small steps to gain the big things in life. Good luck to anyone and everybody who is fighting to beat this evil of drugs. You hold your head up and Don't be shamed or beat down. Please don't because I used to be 1 of those people who would beat u down. I have changed my outlook on this and would now walk in hell w a gas can for my friend. God bless each and very one of I hope someday u all can beat the sh#! Out of this evil and turn around smile in its f#@!&$@ face and say no more will I be Holden to u. My payers are w u. Justified71 | ||
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Posted: July 19, 2015, 8:04 PM
I am finally done tapering and not taking anymore suboxone as of 4pm today. I took oxycodone 30s and 15s for 3-4 years on and off (and whatever other pks i could get along with occasional cocaine and everyday weed and rum. I snorted an average of 2or3 30s a day, Illegal and prescription of my own (from a serious extreme sports injury ). I tapered off subs from 4mg strips to literally a tiny sliver in about 4-5 months. I have taken 2 centimeter pieces off the edge of what was originally 2mg strip,for 2 weeks. Hope this all makes sense so far cuz part of my detox plan in smoking a ton of good weed. I am a father of a toddler and a husband,have a full time career with a parttime music career,and surf on my free time. I used to think pain killers made me better onstage for my fans and faster at work. Thought they made me better in bed for my wife(you just CANNOT c** on oxy lol) and i thought i was like super man. I wasn't. I was 45% at my best. I still smoke legal weed everyday and drink SJ rum few times a week but my life and my son and wifes life are perfect now with me clean from opiates.
So my plan has been smoking weed atleast every other hour (by bowls for comfort and pain, restless leg) Eating 'happy' food like chocolate and candy Drinking oj for vitamin C (im not s***ting bad,yet atleast ) Im watching zombie movies and playing xbox360 (rpg games to keep my mind busy) And my wife is doing everything for our son and pets so i can stay in bed to be as comfortable as possible (ac on,dark room,comfy bed) I might not have symptoms as bad or as long as some,due to my tapering of percs and subs, but this still f***ing sucks and im not comfortable. Cant wait to be off oxy and subs all together. Hoping to feel good enough to work by Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest. Goodluck to everyone trying and know you can do this s***!!! | ||
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Posted: July 31, 2015, 7:36 AM
kauff311,
How did you relapse while on suboxone? did I misunderstand what you wrote? I originally got on suboxone to get over the withdrawals from a 13 yr methadone maintenance. why I stayed on it that long is something I just can't understand. Time just went by so quickly and continues to do so. I became addicted to snorting heroin for about a year before I put myself in the hospt. to withdraw and then went directly into the methadone program. It gave me time under my belt to get my brain reprogramed to not using drugs. The only thing I didn't do was take my counselors advice about seeing a therapist and psychiatrist to get me on medication for my emotional illness that I didn't know I had.. who ever knows that they're mentally ill if that's all your used to living like??/ I have bipolar II depressive disorder, plus general anxiety (GAD), post traumatic stress disorder and borderline p.d. I am on disablitity since 2007, because after my divorce I tried to commit suicide and wound up in psych hospt for ten or more days before they released me. , I went through 15 jobs in a matter of a ten year period. I didn't know at the time that it is one of the classical symptoms of bipolar. that you can't hold a job due to behavior problems. I LOOK normal as heck on the outside and would get hired immediately at most jobs. They just fell into my lap so to speak. but I"d wind up cursing out the bosses or employees thinking they were against me and talking about me, when really it was all me.. NOT them! I also do my own spiritual work everyday which has significantly helped my view on life and I also picked up the guitar again from when I was once a young girl. I never thought I could play again. my b/f bought it for me thinking it would help me get out of my depression. it took me a yr or more before I actually picked it up and once I did, I started at book number 1 and have gone onto teaching myself classical music on a classical guitar. I started on an acoustic. I think music and art and going on your own spiritual journey helps a person find out what the being means in "Human being". I used to be part of organized religion. I was born a catholic but protested, lol, became protestant, protest, get it? and then became Pentecostal. yes, born again Christian. from 1982-89. I had the children dedicated and I was baptized in the ocean in NY city at 6:00 am in the morning. I was always seeking out God and the meaning of life ever since I was a little girl when I was touched by the love of so man people at a group meeting for children in my neighborhood that someone brought me to. the salavation army. to get back to the story because it's so complicated and long. I was on the meth too long. clinic was suddenly told to shut down and move off the hospt. property. they had to find places for the all the patients or have them do a rapid detox or go miles away to another city to another meth clinic.. but a lot of the people going there had no access to get there. The mayor and the townspeople of the next town over took it to court to prevent another methadone clinic being opened in their town. a LOT of people died these past two years of over dosing. all because there was no place for them to get help. my counselor kept telling me I could do it, I could do it... keep positive. I can drop from 5 mg. down to zero being I was on five for so long. The methadone they RX'd there had nothing lower than the five mg. so I stopped. I am not going to share what happened physically because it's a negative story. I went thru the obvious withdrawl and could'n't handle it, so I found a place 15 min away that just started prescribing suboxone. I was the second patient to begin it there. or the first. it was new to the doctor too, being he never rxd it before. so he only knows what he was taught when he became certified. He doesn't believe that sub helps for pain. he doesnt' believe in cutting the strips on the last 2mg dosage to half of that and is very black and white so to speak. tunnel vision. it's either his way or no way. He likes to be in control. I happen to like him and get along well with him. he says people either like him or hate him. he's tough. so I only expected to stay on the suboxone for a short time and learn my lesson from the methadone experience. I didn't even NEED the part of the suboxone that blocks opiates because I was clean from abusing drugs for 13 yrs when I started the sub. I just needed something to help with withdrawl. I wish to GOD someone had told me not to get on the suboxone but the other medicine without the blocker in it, because now it's done something to the receptors in my brain. I need surgery. I too started at 8mg x2 a day. down to taking 8mg 1x a day, down to 4 mgs a day and then the longest took was getting down to 2mg once a day, which I've been doing now for a month. 4 weeks. I was so scared to drop down to the 2mg for nothing. all it did was cause a little depression for a few days and anxiety in the mornings. I JUST tore a knee meniscus 3 months ago and was told I needed surgery in a week after finally getting an MRI and seeing a bone surgeon. he said since it hasn't healed in 3 months that it needs to be repaired and showed me the damage by looking at the MRI. I made the date to have surgery. the surgeon, nor his staff never told me OR gave me literature like they should've. there's a protocol for surgery if on suboxone. When the hospt. pre op nurse called me 5 days b4 sugery, she was shocked no one told me I had to stop the suboxone for 3 days.. I didn't plan on doing it that way and I wasn't prepared mentally. so I couldn't do it. I was told to contact the sub dr. so I saw him the day b4 surgery was due and he told me I was crazy, but in a good way, and that he needed to speak to the anesthesiologist first and my surgeon. he couldn't do that the day before surgery. not one of them were available. so I called and postponed the surgery for another 3 weeks. the sub dr wants me to do it HIS way which is take the 2mgs 1x a day for two weeks, then the day I go into see him, don't take a strip. he wants me to do it every other day and then stop it 3 days before surgery. from reading multiple support boards about coming off of sub and the amount of days it takes to leave the body, I would have been suffering in pain. knee repair is NOT as painless as people think. especially if you have other medical conditions going on. so now I am REALLY confused on what to do. do I just taper it the way I want to and go by my gut instinct? I don't think these sub doctors are educated enough about coming off the suboxone and I had no idea how much trouble it is for the surgical staff and patient while on suboxone if I didn't do my own research. It would make it so much easier on everyone if I wasn't on the medication at all!!!! I've been weaning off it for so long now and wanted to stop anyway. first my dr. agreed with me weeks ago that I do NOT need to be on suboxone anymore. Then he tells me other day that I don't have to go off the suboxone just because I'm having surgery. I told him I need a REASON to help give me a kick mentally to get off of it for good. I still have horrible scars left in my memory bank from getting off the methadone. That's why I'm afraid to take the next step. coming off it from 2mg to zero. that's the way the suboxone company taught the doctors to do the strips. they said NO cutting them. but I"ve heard such horror stories about stopping it. the longer you're on it, the worst. I JUST found out that a good side effect that happens from suboxone is that it helps with depression. It does for me too. I become very depressed dropping. but get better again once acclimated. another thing I found out on the radio and they put this new found info in the 3rd journal of psychiatry that addiction is now considered a mental illness. it's not just because some have less will power than others or that we have bad ethics because we become addicted to pain pills or want to go and do heroin. theres something in the brain chemically and physically. AND it can be treated by medication from a psychiatrist and cognitive therapy and behavioral therapy. So don't feel so bad about yourself. it's like having diabetes. your born with it and you need to get on medication to help you. I can't stand to be stigmatized by the medical field when they used to hear I was on methadone. eventually drs. would just ask me if I was on methadone for my body arthritits and fibro. they never thought I'd be the type of woman who'd do heroin. funny how people think that addicts look a certain way. I know you can get off this and not use drugs again. start going to a psychiatrist and therapist and meetings. exercise, continue your spiritual work, every day if you can, learn how the mind works and why it does what it does. do a hobby. learn a musical instrument to use your brain in a different way. I actually feel miraculous after playing my guitar. I feel energized. reading too. take supplements. that's another thing I incorporated while On the suboxone. I take multiple supplements. drink lots of water through out the day and eat less acidic foods and more alkaline. less meat, more fish and mainly greens. all types. mind, body and spirit all go together. it's all one. we are spiritual beings in a body that is made to live on this earth. but you have to admit that our bodies and mind are far more capable of doing more than we really know. WE have the power to make our lives the way we want them to happen. It's all about perception and accepting things as they are and not harp on the past and not project into the future. you can plan your life, but don't fear what tomorrow might bring. fear is the biggest killer. See what it does to us when we want to finally drop off? its' the FEAR that has us by the throats. Even Jesus says not to fear and trust in him for ALL things. | ||
Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011
Posted: July 31, 2015, 8:31 AM
The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous work wonders for alcoholic/addicts like me and millions of others. -------------------- Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line: Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf AA's HOW IT WORKS: Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS: http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf ---------------------------------------------------------------- --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. ---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. ... I need AA more than it needs me. --- I fight recovery tooth and nail.... I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural. ...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know. ---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it. Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it. --- I didn't have a very happy childhood but I sure am having a long one ! ---Dry since 1989 working daily on getting/staying SOBER. ---If you want to drink, that's your business ...If you want to quit, that's AA's business. ... Tell me, I'll forget; ... Show me, I'll remember; ... Engage me, I'll understand. ---Most problems are psychological. Most solutions are spiritual . "If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego." --Richard Rohr WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do) | ||
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Posts: 57
Joined: November 26, 2014
Posted: August 3, 2015, 12:53 PM
Papa Bear is right. Reminds me of myself previous times trying to stay clean before I had my two relapses a few years back. Notice how I don't use the word recovery because that's not what it was.... I wasn't in recovery. I was simply just not using drugs... I wanted all the results, but I didn't want to put in any effort to get those results. If you truly want recovery you have to work your butt off for it, each and every day. After all, Your life depends on it!
Go to 12 step meetings, talk to other recovering addicts, get phone numbers, find a sponsor, work the 12 steps.. I never wanted to do any of these things either but once you reach a certain a point of DESPERATION, you will be willing to try ANYTHING to find happiness again... I learned from my mistakes on how NOT to recover and how NOT to stay clean. Now I am doing all the things I didn't do previous times trying to stay clean and I never thought I could be this happy and am amazed at how much my life has changed just in the past year. If you have an open mind and are willing to change then NA can work for you. Give it the chance to save your life like it saved mine and many others. There is hope for us. | ||
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