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Addicted To Pain Meds And Scared Of Withdrawals
Smurph






Posted: November 6, 2013, 3:57 AM
Hello, I am an opiate addict and want to stop. I currently take 20t a day and am so afraid of withdrawals. I have read of suboxone or rapid detox. I just want something that will eliminate my cravings and my withdrawal symptoms. Please help guide me. I have thought of rehab, but do not want to be inpatient.


Posts: 6750
Joined: September 15, 2005


Posted: November 6, 2013, 10:19 AM
Its your call--I have learned the hard was whenever I want to get sober but MY WAY it never works-

If your blessed to go to a rehab your very lucky-person

good luck

--------------------
It is Just Not worth it.

"Inside every older person is a younger person
wondering what the puck happened."

One Day At A Time


Posts: 2268
Joined: October 17, 2004


Posted: November 10, 2013, 7:58 PM
It is good that you want to get clean. I don't blame u for fearing withdrawals, they suck. There are several ways to detox, some good, some can be dangerous. If by RAPID DETOX, U are talking about the kind of thing where u pay a lot of money to some Dr. & they detox u in a day or so, I have heard some horror stories.

There are all kinds of methods that people have described on this board. Do a search on self detox & u can get all kinds of ideas.

If you are thinking of maintenance drugs like suboxin or methadone u should seriously consider the long term effects. The cure can be worse than the sickness.

In my case I was on methadone for years. It had some value in that it is legal, less expensive & dangerous than copping & using, mostly gets rid of opiate cravings & blocks other opiates, BUT IN MY CASE IT BECAME A DRUG OF ABUSE. The withdrawals the first time were not pleasant and lasted longer (more than a month) even though I had gone way down in my dose before I stopped.

Suboxon was in many ways better and way worse in an important way. The very first day I got on sub, (at this point I had been pharmaceutical opiates) I was out of WD. By the 3rd day or so I felt 'normal' with no craving or desire, etc. Sub is mostly unabusible after a while.

I was on the max dose for a few years. I tried to get off a couple times, but the WD's were unending. My point is that sub is probably OK for a bit, but if u are on it too long, it is very difficult to get off.

I have read posts on the Heroin board where people used sub to detox themselves off of H for a little over a week and stopped using sub. Check it out, they seem to have had success.

Too bad u can't do a hospital detox, that would be best.

I wish you the best. Please be careful.

Harry

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No matter what right you did or what wrong you didn't do: When you're the black sheep, all blame belongs to you


Posts: 6
Joined: November 22, 2013


Posted: November 22, 2013, 9:16 PM
Congrats on taking the initial step towards self respect and love by wanting to quit opiates. Recognize how amazing a gift this is, as many of our fellow addicts never make it to this point of truth.... Out of denial, and into fear. But you are not alone. Remember, you aren't the first to kick, nor will you be the last. Thank God, right?! It's the newcomers that keep recovery a living thing. ( this is a bit long , but I guarantee worth reading. Because YOU are worth recovering)
At the risk if sounding old fashioned here, and trust me, I'm not old.( just a good ol' oper- doper who was where you are right now, almost 10 years ago) I must say how grateful I am that Suboxone was not available to me back then. Subutex was , IV or IM only and only in an extremely expensive celebrity-esque type treatment center. I didn't have medical insurance and obviously, as any good addict knows , (duh- LOL) that IF I had money, I wouldn't be dopesick!!! For me, I had to exhaust all avenues. I'm just a garden variety addict. It doesn't matter the substance in the long run, because it's the "feeling" we are addicted to. Yes, opes cause physical withdrawal. Very uncomfortable withdrawal. I did the methadone clinic multiple times cuz it was only $10/day. Compared to $400+\day in heroin, it was just too hard to pass up. But the decision to become a 5 time "graduate" ( meaning I got booted for dirty urine) of Methadone Charm School came to me because I'm an addict, and I wanted my pain to go away. I wanted to put the needle down. Sounds like my prayers had been answered, right? In desperation, fearing pain, opiate addicts go to ANY LENGTH TO AVOID WITHDRAWALS. ANY LENGTH- we do things we never thought we'd do. Because all addicts know this: " We want what we want, and we want it NOW!"
We don't want a cure. We don't want recovery. We don't want to work for it. WE JUST WANT RELIEF!! This brings me back to my " old fashioned" thinking, more so EXPERIENCE.
I prayed until my knees were raw. I begged God to help me. To fix me. To cure me. I promised if I could just get through this dreaded withdrawal quickly and painlessly... I'd never use again. ( silly addicts.. We think we can outsmart God.)
Long story, ( common story ) short. My prayers were answered. But not the way I had prayed for. Imagine that, a junkie having no clue what's best for them , because the fear drives them into such manipulative and ridiculous thinking...
I didn't want to go to treatment, but I knew I had to be medically detoxed. I'm an RN and knew I needed 24 hour care. But how? No money. I had lost my ID. Hmmmm, what to do? What to do, I panicked.
While the sickness came on quicker than I could have imagined..( you see, this was the LONGEST) amount of time without opiates I'd ever been. And I was terrified I'd die kicking. I look back now and remember truly wanting to die... But I KEPT PRAYING. In and out if the hot bathtub. Rolling around in bed and sweating, heartbeat bounding and all the while thinking to myself.." Even if I DID somehow score some free, hand delivered dope, ( yeahhhh right;), I seriously didn't know if I'd even be able to get out of bed to fix up. Every five minutes that went by I thanked God or angels or the Saints of dope sickness for being able to tough out that short amount of time, b/c that meant I was 5 minutes closer to kicking completely. All in all it took well over a month to feel like a semi- human. ( remember, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! Or anywhere that isn't medically trained in addiction and withdrawal!!! And a year or more to sleep thru the night..but you know what? I STAYED CLEAN. ( totally drug free! Me? Impossible. But it happened. I had come TOO far to turn back now) After 5 attempts at methadone, which is only trading one drug for another, going to several detoxes with Subutex or Ativan .. NONE OF THOSE METHODS WORKED FOR ME. Maybe it's because of my " quick fix nature", maybe b/c I'm afraid of the unknown... None of it matters. What does matter is that if I took Suboxone, I'd be using again in no time. As addicts, we are smart. We know how to fool the system. And we do. Especially if we are still in ACTIVE ADDICTION! ( taking Suboxone to get off opiates is a complete and utter oxymoron. Like a " jumbo shrimp". Or kicking a bottle of vodka a day to start drinking a 12 pack of beer... It makes no sense )To me, and again this is my personal opinion, taking Suboxone does nothing but waylay the inevitable.. Getting high. Using again. As addicts we find a million different reasons we " deserve" a little fix. There is no such thing as a little fix. Just like there is no such thing as a sip of wine to an alcoholic. It doesn't exist in our brains. We have a saying that goes , " When it comes to drugs- "ONE IS TOO MANY, AND A THOUSAND IS NEVER ENOUGH."There is a chemical in the brains of alcoholics and opiate addicts that doesn't exist in other peoples brains. It's called THIQ , and it promotes the phenomenon of CRAVING in our brains. And the craving is so strong, unfortunately, many of us die trying to find that initial warm fuzzy feeling like the "first time".
As a recovering addict and substance abuse counselor today , I can say honestly that I do NOT have a magic formula for opiate withdrawals . Because quite simply, it doesn't exist. We have to 1) Admit defeat and surrender to win
2) believe in a power bigger than our addictions to "wake us up"i
3) be willing to live thru some serious discomfort to reap the benefits awaiting us on the other side
And 4) recognize who we are, what our defects can make us do in desperation and recognize our liabilities ( as well as our positive aspects)
I am NOT suggesting u kick at home with a barf bucket and tied to the bed.. I recommend a detox facility to monitor your vital signs and keep you safe. ( main goal - to not pick up and use when we feel the worst)
Going to treatment is a GIFT, not a punishment. It is merely an instrument to learn more about your cunning disease, and how to live life CLEAN AND TO BE A HEALTHY BEING.( mentally , spiritually and physically) if you have the opportunity to do inpatient care, I highly suggest you at least see what they can offer. If you're worried about people finding out- hate to break it to you , but a lot of them already know . Think of it this way: you can voluntarily go somewhere to treat your disease ( just like if u had diabetes and were admitted to the hospital for dialysis for kidney failure..b/c u never followed a good diet and u didn't check your glucose levels- now your diabetes is way out of hand)
OR, you can overdose before a major holiday and leave your loved ones scratching their heads in sorrow .
I try to dish it like it is - like it was dished to me. I needed a lot if convincing in what was best for me. After all, it WAS MY OWN BEST THINKING THAT KEPT ME GOING BACK TO METHADONE CLINICS and EXPENSIVE REHABS WITH SUBUTEX, all b/c it seemed "easier".
Recovery is not always easy, but it is a simple program for a complicated disease.
Trading one opiate for another , even with an opiate antagonist that " blocks" the effects. So what? Eventually addicts always want MORE.. Until they are shown a new way to live.
Anybody can quit using. Quitting is the easy part. It's staying quit that requires faith, willingness, an open mind and open heart.
I hope only the best for you. And as one of my favorite sayings goes, " I hope your picker gets fixed soon."

This post has been edited by SurrenderZ on November 24, 2013, 2:12 PM
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