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Posted: June 28, 2011, 10:15 AM
Miss seeing your posts.... hope you are just on vacation or taking a break or something. Thinking of you.
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Posts: 3076
Joined: January 11, 2006
Posted: June 28, 2011, 10:47 AM
Awww ! LAC, I'm gonna name you my Otha Motha. Thanks for posting that. I am good. I didn't know if my daily posts were getting old. I am good.
After my self imposed beligerant spaz attack. I have cooled down. I didn't go to meetings for a few days. (part of the beligerant me) Old behaviors as my friend Stacey would say. I went to my morning meeting this morning. I remember why I love it. I made my ammends to the group. I would dare venture that the majority of them don't even remember what I shared when I was on my high horse of 90 day chip. And for that I thank GOD. But, I made my ammends and I feel better. Now if I could only do that with My real mom, my x husband, and my son. I thnk I would be complete in the ninth step. But I am still praying for willingness. In my mind they have wronged me so much more than I them. But I am attempting to stay on my side of the street and keep it a little cleaner. Still on my eigth step and looking for suggestions on becoming willing. I am a stubborn a**. Love you all for caring about me :) I am 96 days cigarette and alcohol free. I am sticking with my meetings because they are working for me. I am grateful that there is any early meeting so when I wake up and start either belittiling myself or running the universe or belittling myself for running the universe so poorly. I can get out of my head, my bed and get my fat (yet smoke free) a** to a meeting. I have gained about 15 pounds but I am fat and somewhat happy. Much love and respect, Jane -------------------- My success story Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. - Anthony Robbins Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says, "This is going to take more than one night." "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen  | ||
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Posted: June 28, 2011, 8:05 PM
So glad to hear you're doing well. I'd love to be your otha motha. But better yet, just your friend.
You made your amends, that is so awesome. I know if we keep working our programs we will figure it all out one step at a time & one day at a time. Congrats again on your clean time & cig free time. Love you. | ||
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Posts: 3076
Joined: January 11, 2006
Posted: June 29, 2011, 10:22 AM
Friends sound so much better. We both have mothers LOL! And we know what that feels like. Who needs two. I appreciate your friendship alot.
Love, Jane PS How is J doing? -------------------- My success story Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. - Anthony Robbins Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says, "This is going to take more than one night." "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen | ||
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Posted: June 29, 2011, 2:00 PM
Yeah we don't need more mothers. That is for dang sure.
J is doing pretty well.... she has been a little bit antsy which makes me a lil concerned (but not obsessive). I mentioned this in the family group session last week. 3 months is usually splitsville time for her. That has been the pattern anyway. She has some health issues... needs a biopsy of cervix & had a mammogram re: a lump in her breast. Keep praying for her. | ||
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Posts: 3076
Joined: January 11, 2006
Posted: June 29, 2011, 3:06 PM
I get it how "J' feels. Its scarey when you have health concerns. I mean its scarey enough when you don't have things to geel guilty for. When you have the additional worries(promiscious sex, needle use etc) and no coping skills its ALOT worse. When the only thing you've used to cope is drugs and then thier gone. Its a whole new game. I am hopeful she will use some of the new coping skills she has learned. My favorite new one is to reach out to another alcoholic/addict. I got so use to going to my mom, I was only getting her perspective. Its nice to have a fresh face. And feel like I am more capable of solving my issues.
I am sending good recovery vibes her way and healing ones for you. I have a little to share today :) You two are in my prayers. Thanks for being my friend. Love, Jane -------------------- My success story Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. - Anthony Robbins Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says, "This is going to take more than one night." "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen | ||
Posts: 1901
Joined: December 25, 2007
Posted: June 30, 2011, 9:48 AM
I can't even imagine how it must be to have so many issues in addition to addiction.
J called last night & said she has been made the "president" of the rehab house! She is really excited. I hope this will be the excitement & motivation she needs to continue to do well. She is starting job search & is still nervous but is doing it. She said the real world makes her nervous because it is so new. I just keep telling her she can do it. -------------------- For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16 I am a recovering codependent, and mother of a recently relapsed drug and alcohol addicted (20 year addiction) adult daughter. Thinking we are in control of anything or anyone else but ourselves is an illusion. And actually we have very little control over what happens to us as well. What will happen will happen. So let go & let God. This is my path to serenity. What happens if we just let go of what we "think" we are controlling? The world keeps on turning and life goes on. I trust that the Lord Jesus will bring me through what He brings me to. Take what you need & leave the rest. I sometimes have bad days. That's ok, I used to have bad years. The Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Jesus loves us. LAFFStore | ||
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Posts: 3076
Joined: January 11, 2006
Posted: June 30, 2011, 11:51 AM
Ahh! President. Well we knew she was an extremist right! LOL! At least this is the good extreme. She ought to run the show well there. The real world is truley frightening. To all of us that is not exclusive to addicts. New jobs and the search YUCK. One of my personal hates. As far as cheering J on. Just a hint. I hate it when my mom acts too excited or encouraging. I also hate it when she doesn't act excited or encouraging at all. Hold me while you leave me alone. That is my philosphy sick huh.? Tell J I says If I can do it she can :) And thats the god honest truth. I am /was a rock bottom addict. And now I am assistant controller at the company I work for. I write checks/file OSHA paperwork and the likes. The trust me? (Ya I don't really get it either) Thanks God, for God. Its his handiwork. But like I said if I can do it so can she.
Love you, Jane PS HAPPY 4th! -------------------- My success story Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. - Anthony Robbins Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says, "This is going to take more than one night." "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen | ||
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Posts: 1901
Joined: December 25, 2007
Posted: June 30, 2011, 3:56 PM
Hey Jane,
Thanks for the tip. J is actually the kind who wants that excitement from me/us. S is not! Wow, that is awesome that you have such a high position in your company. Look how far you've come!!!! Thanks for the encouragement, I will tell her. -------------------- For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16 I am a recovering codependent, and mother of a recently relapsed drug and alcohol addicted (20 year addiction) adult daughter. Thinking we are in control of anything or anyone else but ourselves is an illusion. And actually we have very little control over what happens to us as well. What will happen will happen. So let go & let God. This is my path to serenity. What happens if we just let go of what we "think" we are controlling? The world keeps on turning and life goes on. I trust that the Lord Jesus will bring me through what He brings me to. Take what you need & leave the rest. I sometimes have bad days. That's ok, I used to have bad years. The Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Jesus loves us. LAFFStore | ||
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