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Posted: February 1, 2017, 1:09 PM
I am a 48year old Mother of 3 Children,two Sons addicts 26, 28 , and 12 years old daughter happily Married, a grandmother of 3, I am not sure what or how to deal with the addictions , Drug addiction and family's dealing with it is very hard to explain to anyone on how it affects friends and family around the addict.
This is the hardest situation to go through and watch how it tears your love ones apart around you. Cause of the sadness and love for to help . Well I am a Mother of 2 son's with addiction and both are different situations, one is cause of the opioids addiction turning to herion because they go through physical pain injuries and my other son has mental health issues and how the system failed him he turn to heroin cause he can't get the right help he needs and the right mental health help, it's sad and I am thinking of speaking at a meeting somewhere for addiction. I had to cut off contact because of my 12 year old daughter it's tearing her apart and giving her a lot of anxiety and depression she has been through so much , I have custody of my 28year old Son's child he is 2 years old and has been with us for a year and has been through so much his health was very poor when I got him , 2 surgeries sleepless nights due to afraid of him dying in his sleep, he would of died if he was left in the situation he was in . I am having a hard time with no contact with them I love both my boys with all my heart. It hurts to have to cut them off with contact but I have to think of what is best for family situation here at home, i don't want to let my grandson to go back and I want to fight for him is this horrible of me to keep my grandson from being raised by his dad and my son? | ||
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Joined: January 4, 2008
Posted: February 1, 2017, 3:31 PM
Pls post this over on the family board...you will find support there
Peace Con | ||
Posts: 529
Joined: October 15, 2016
Posted: February 2, 2017, 8:59 AM
I am so sorry , all this must be bringing unbearable pain but as you said yourself you have to think about your daughter and grandchild! You cant help those who dont want to be helped , this is on them doing change especially your son whose child is with you and Thank God he have you. No child should be brought up by addicts , that is why i never had kids , it would be unfair on them. Do you have help with this, with your fears, hopes, disappointments and pain, I mean do you go to meetings ? You need support , you simply cant do all this on your own .. we are here for you but as others would tell you it would benefit you going to meetings where are others in the same situation as yourself.
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Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015
Posted: February 2, 2017, 9:32 AM
Hi, I'm so sorry you have two sons on drugs. You didn't say how long they've been on them. I have a daughter of 35yrs old on drugs too. She's been on them since she was 17 yrs old or maybe younger. But that's when she started on the heroin. I would say your doing the right thing! I'd keep your grandchild safe with you too. I'm sure between your grandkids and your daughter it keeps your head above water with the chaos of having two sons that are drug addicts. It's a nightmare I know and I sympathize with you because it's something no one understands unless it's happened to them. Not friends, not family, no one wants to take it on as it's a taboo subject and I think it's too scary for them and they don't know how to handle it. So we're left ourselves to suck it up and get on with it. But the good news is... you've found this website now and all us mothers on here help each other when no one else wants to know. Read the posts on here and they will help you. Don't feel guilty keeping your sons away from your house. I keep my daughter away from mine as much as possible. I don't feel I know her anymore. I just feel that drugs have turned her into a stranger. She might look like my daughter but it doesn't feel like she's my daughter. So hang in there your doing a good job. You just have to keep telling yourself this and stay strong. It's amazing the strength you find in yourself when you have to. I still have my sad days and still wonder why it had to be my daughter that was the drug addict. I guess it's only natural but I try not to dwell on it for too long or it would drive me nuts! Good luck to you and keep doing what your doing. Take care. Mary.
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Posts: 521
Joined: August 28, 2016
Posted: February 2, 2017, 11:17 AM
I agree with Mary and my situation is very similar to hers. My son is one of the oldest addicts on this board--he is 46 this week. He has been an addict since he was a teen. We enabled him for way too long and just stopped enabling when we joined this forum.
Haven't heard from our son now for 6 weeks and last we knew he was living in his car. This is absolutely the most difficult thing we have ever experienced in our lives! We know we should have stopped all this craziness years ago and then we might not have been in this position in our retirement years! You have double the issues and I am sure it is very hard to go through! You are doing the right thing in standing by your daughter and your grandchild. They need you to be there for them. You can't help your two sons--only they can make the choice to change their lives! Focus on the two you have at home and yourself! Prayers for you and your family--- Lori | ||
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