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Posted: July 7, 2016, 8:37 PM
New here.
A month ago I lost my husband. He is not dead but the man I married and loved seems to be. My husband uses cocaine (powder and crack) and Marijuana. I'm so stupid or naive, I had no idea about the crack/cocaine. He has become completely delusional and has had a psychotic break down. Delusions include controlling the weather, being a reincarnated God, having babies with celebrities, being mind controlled, having an eye and tooth implant, being an undercover DEA/CIA agent, movies depicting his life... I could go on and on. I think his using started more than 3 years ago. I don't know how much things cost, but he was using about $40- $60 a day as well as about $1500 a month. Seems like a lot to me. Anyway, when the delusions really began a year ago, his son and I tried to have him involuntarily committed. Due to a VA failure, he was not and thought that was because he communicated with the President... who was his neighbor when he was 10 (NOT). The delusions decreased, he seemed to get it under control, but they have escalated to total psychosis and he is in that state almost all the time. Prior to his use of crack, I don't know of any episodes of delusion or psychosis. One month ago I came home with my oldest daughter (his stepdaughter) and found him in a complete break. He had used in the morning after I went to work and broke all their furniture, screens on Windows, knickknacks, and put 14 holes in the walls. He also ransacked my son's room. I took out a restraining order and he left. We have spoke by phone twice, and texted millions of times it seems mostly me grieving the man I loved and our marriage. His texts range from I love you to sending me copies of an email to the Texas Rangers saying that I abducted my children before they were even born. Due to time travel or something, he thinks we were together in previous decades and I had my memory erased. It's been 4 days since our last contact, and I heard he is very stressed, which means more delusional. My children can't be in the house with this man. He's refusing and treatment and has become someone I don't know. Why do I keep trying with him? I have this idea he will or has hit rock bottom and will go to the hospital and be admitted to an inpatient unit. The next part of my fantasy is that he live in supportive housing and have intensive treatment, and in a year he can move back. I realize this is a fantasy, but I'm not able or willing to let go of my husband- just throw it all away? Be somebody he used to know? I don't know what I am asking from you all. I guess 1) have any of your loved ones experienced delusions and psychosis when using? I'm trying to understand if the crack caused the delusions or if he was using drugs to escape them. 2) How do I get over this man, who was the love of.my life? I meant my for better or for worse vows. Until this point he was a wonderful husband. 3) Is there ANY hope? Thank you for reading this long post. | ||
Posts: 454
Joined: August 4, 2015
Posted: July 8, 2016, 8:12 PM
I don't know much at all about crack or cocaine but it seems like your husbands delusional state is beyond what coke does. I do know that meth causes hallucenations. I think it will be hard to tell unless your husband quits the drugs first. He really needs to go to a treatment center that specializes in dual diagnosis, in the case that he's got some mental health issues going on as well as the addiction. I encourage you, as well as the kids,to stay away from your husband until he gets treatment. It seems like he can for sure be a danger to you all or himself. You need to concentrate on keeping you and the kids safe and healthy. It's not easy but you need to. God bless you.
Michelle -------------------- Michelle | ||
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