post replypost new topic
Worst Day Of My Life


Posts: 1
Joined: June 2, 2016


Posted: June 2, 2016, 5:07 PM
Yesterday my husband sent a text to our 35 year old son telling him we could have no more physical contact with him, but he was welcome to contact us by phone. He is ADD, drug addict and alcoholic. We have spent a fortune trying to help him and his family (rent, car repairs, deposits on houses, food, etc)and finally realize that we are unable to continue helping him. He has 2 wonderful children and we now realize he loves his drugs more than his children or us or the rest of his family. He is charming, lovable, kind, but his love for his drugs apparently outweighs everything else. I know we are doing the right thing but the pain in overwhelming. His wife is useless and won't allow us to see the children, who we love with all out hearts, unless she needs us to buy something for them. We are always happy to do anything for the children but have come to the realization that helping our son or his wife is only allowing them to have the money to spend on drugs. We will continue to do anything for the children This has been going on for years and I feel such shame that I didn't see the light earlier on how we were hurting him not helping him. I am dying inside right now hoping we have made the right decision I am so afraid that he will over dose. What else can we do. We feel so helpless.


Posts: 5
Joined: June 2, 2016


Posted: June 3, 2016, 1:54 PM
Really big hugs to you!!! You are doing the right thing!


Posts: 454
Joined: August 4, 2015


Posted: June 3, 2016, 9:18 PM
I'm so sorry for your pain. All of us here have felt it ourselves. You're doing the right thing. Your son is a grown man and all of his choices are his own. He won't let go of drugs until he wants to, which could be tomorrow or years from now. I know from experience that someone's rock bottom can be very very low. My son has been homeless and on the streets and still didn't give up his drugs. Good luck to you. Try and look out for yourself.
Michelle

--------------------
Michelle


Posts: 271
Joined: June 27, 2015


Posted: June 15, 2016, 2:29 PM
Hello. I have a feeling that when you say you don't know what to do, I'm getting the feeling your meaning it towards your grand babies. But I may be wrong. But if I'm not, then, you and your son's father have rights ! Rights as grandparents. And that'd what there called, "Grandparents Rights"!. I forgot the name of the website that I read it all at. But ill start looking for it and get back to you as soon as I find out. Or maybe I should wait til you reply back,,,, just incase I'm mistaken and that wasn't what you meant. Okay, sorry for all this.

--------------------
IT ONLY GETS WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER.!


Posts: 2
Joined: June 20, 2016


Posted: June 20, 2016, 1:32 PM
My heart goes out to you , I am dealing with the same identical situation . If you read the post from Hez , that's me .... I am sick to my stomach and feel helpless . My son is 35 and has been using God knows what for years . I gather he uses what ever he can get .... I have tried everything , nothing has helped ... I worry that he will never change ..... But I have decided as well to give no more ...not one dime ..... I have been his back up , I sure haven't helped as nothing has changed .... Read my post .....


Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011


Posted: June 20, 2016, 2:48 PM
I strongly suggest you contact your local Al-Anon and Nar-Anon groups.

Your son doesn't "love" drugs more than you and his family.
He is an addict !! A sick person who needs recovery.

An addict/alcoholic will fight tooth & nail to NOT DO what they need to do.

Al-Anon & Nar-Anon will help you.

Alcoholism/addiction is a family disease - they will help you.

All the best.

Bob R

--------------------
Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous

Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf


AA's HOW IT WORKS:
Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf


NA's HOW IT WORKS:
http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf


----------------------------------------------------------------

--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.

---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

... I need AA more than it needs me.

--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.


...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.

---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.


--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !


---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.


---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.


... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.


---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .


"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
--Richard Rohr


WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)
post replypost new topic