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Posted: May 30, 2016, 8:57 PM
Where to start, but thanks for reading my post.
Simply put, we went to a family get together and my two daughters stole the show. One (my heroin/opiate) daughter was having panic attacks when her make-up didn't go just right. I'm telling you, she came unhinged! I'm not really sure that she didn't create for attention or to watch me squirm in discomfort to see her act up in front of my dad in his 70's. The other daughter got sloppy drunk & was arguing with my dad. Threw up after that. Unbelievable. I was raised to respect my grandparents, uncles etc...Don't know where I went wrong. I thought I did a very good job. They both had full rides to college only to drop out & squander their loans for books, etc...on heroin, clothes, booze, etc... I'm just plain disgusted. One daughter will take her sister to her doctor appointment & sub clinic the next day. I need a time out. I'm losing my mind. My older daughter was telling me how to handle her sister, what to say & do, and this is all while she's been drunk & throwing up the night before & hungover today. So, she's hers for the next couple of days. I'm going slowly insane. I'm sick to my stomach every day. I feel like I'm drowning & don't know how to swim. I feel like i must have screwed up somewhere. I keep telling myself about the 3 C's...I didn't cause this, I can't change it & I can't control it. Thank you to whoever first wrote that. It's gotten my husband & I through so many situations where we're at the end of our ropes. Thanks for hearing me out. I need to know I'm not nuts! love, Dee | ||
Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015
Posted: May 31, 2016, 12:37 AM
Hi Dee, I answered your post under "Heroin Addiction". Hope things get better for you. Warn all grandparents not to take the one on drugs into live at their houses. Take care! Thinking of you. Mary.
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Posts: 60
Joined: September 3, 2015
Posted: June 4, 2016, 12:49 AM
Dee, This NOT your fault... say it with me- NOT your fault, NOT your fault..... U are not nutz, far from it. You need to just cut them loose. Tell them they are are NOT welcome until they decide to act like real respectful human beings. Drunk and puking / sub clinics and flipping out over make up -- all of it is TOTALLY unacceptable.
I understand where u think it falls back on you and maybe a very, very miniscule amount of it does- but these chicks are full grown women and you can't make them do anything they don't want to do... How old are they??? I know that I was still trying to piss my mother off right up until I was about 21 or thereabouts. Everyone is diff tho- and some chicks take much, much longer and some get it earlier. U didn't cause this hon- and u also can't cure it. They need to be on their own completely. Obviously I don't know your situation, but I'd tell you that if there is financial any help going on --they need to be cut off IMMEDIATELY. That may sound harsh, but I promise you it isn't. They need to realize how much life costs. First of all the fact that they got free rides at college sounds like a mistake. I would have given my front teeth for something like that- but I grew up in a very (VERY) hard situation in that our apartment had no hot water or heat from the time I was born till 16 -and I was very lucky to get to school myself ev day / week. My momz was a waitress and she did the very best she could for us- but it just didn't make ends meet so we did what we had to. I was lucky to get to high school nevermind college. It was never even mentioned nor was it expected. To think that there are folks that its just assumed- was totally foreign to me. I surely hope, hope, hope beyond what you can possibly know that things get better and these girls shake off their crazy drama and just get down to what is right...... But I'm so sorry Dee that your daughters are pulling the super drama queen card. That tells me that they are young cuz once u are a bit matured -you don't really pull that childish bulls*** anymore..... U say that one is already on the sub clinic- is that right? that is super expensive, how is she affording that? Do they work? Hell, I know that it took me YEARS to get straight cuz once I screwed up the first time- that was that. There was NO more help. And I can tell you that it took that long for me to "get it" anyway. Please please know that there is absolutely NO disrespect meant here- I just want to be sure to get that across... U asked for opinions - and I'm givn' mine..... Please just think about it.. OL | ||
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Posted: June 17, 2016, 6:53 PM
Dear OL,
I don't judge you for what you wrote & I am in no way offended!! You were right on each point! Wish I'd seen your post sooner. Sorry it took me this long to get back to ya. My daughters are 23 & 20, but as much as they want to be called 'adults' they act like immature brats, no lie. They both got great grades & got scholarships. Both screwed up & lost them in their first year of college. One's smart enough to be a doctor. My hopes for them have sure changed. Ha. I'm embarrassed when family members ask about their education. They have kids like you, that would LOVE to have what they did! It makes my stomach sick. Then they both took out loans for school, books etc...The younger spent $1500 on one very long heroin binge...not sure what to call it. She overdosed on Mother's Day on Fentanyl. Thought it was heroin. Stopped breathing & her lips were turning blue. Boyfriend found her. Long story short, she was trying here & there on suboxone, but quit it because she said it made her body hurt not to be on it. (Isn't that what H does too?) Anyway, my older daughter works & has her own apartment. She supports herself as a waitress. Her drug of choice are weed & alcohol. She can't control her alcohol consumption & gets way too drunk very fast. She's very small so it hits her hard. Yes, we have addiction in our family. The younger daughter lost her waitress job due to going in high & out of it. They said they'd take her back when she gets her life in order. The younger daughter, hooked on H, relapsed three times that I know of & as of the other day, has moved out for the 5th or 6th time. She's probably at her boyfriend's but made a new friend that has a nice 2 BD place nearby. My guess is she'll worm her way in there & mooch off of her. Thank God, this new friend doesn't do anything but weed, but who knows if that's the truth. She said she's a Quaker that's separated from her family/community. But, I take it with a grain of salt because my younger lies about everything. Lies more than tells the truth. The older daughter at least tells me the truth, for better or worse. I'd rather know than find out at the local ER or in a parking lot. Ha. Anyway, thank you for caring. I am hanging in here. I am reminding myself as you said, that it's not my fault. Sure I am not perfect, good God no!! lol But I couldn't have done so much damage could I? I thought I was being a really good mom. I hope to God my younger girl gets sick of feeling sick & tired all the time. I know I sure as hell am!! Take care, many hugs. Love & God bless, Dee | ||
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