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Posted: April 23, 2016, 9:46 PM
Hello everyone! My husband struggles with heroine addiction. He had a problem in the past but then was clean for 8 years before we got married. He relapsed since then and has spiraled down hill hard. He can't keep a job and he will steal, lie and rob to get drugs. After a long long battle with him I finally got him to go to rehab. While he was in rehab I got ahold of his phone and text messages and found out he's cheating on me!!!! I am so infuriated but I do love him so I don't want to jeopardize his sobriety. I know I have to divorce him bc cheating is totally unacceptable. My question is do I tell him what I found out while he is in rehab or should I wait til after he is out???? I am so affraid this will make him relapse.... Please help. Although he broke my heart I do love this person and want to see him succeed.
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Posts: 81
Joined: April 22, 2016
Posted: April 23, 2016, 9:56 PM
There's really no good time for such news. Telling him while in rehab may make him say screw it the reason i was here is now gone so what's the point. Doing it right afterwards when he is the most vulnerable will most likely have the same affect.
Is there no possibility of marriage counseling? I mean if he's getting drug counseling because of you I'd be willing to wager he'll get marriage counseling for you as well. I know addicts blame a lot of stuff on their addiction but there is a reason for that. Do you believe he would of cheated on you if he wasn't using? Does he have a history of cheating? Chances are incredibly good that this other female was an addict her self which is probably why his addiction was attracted to her. I can tell you addicts generally don't go seeking relationships that will interfere with their use, instead look for people that they can use with. What I'm saying is it's quite possible this affair is purely the result of the addiction and not a loss of attraction towards you. However, I will say that if you decide to do counseling and stay with him once he recovers than you need to make sure STD tests are done before you have intercourse again. Especially if he was using needles. Either way, though, get the tests done because you don't know what this other females habits were like assuming she to was an addict. -------------------- "He who master others is powerful. He who can master himself is mightier still." - Lao Tzu | ||
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Posted: April 23, 2016, 11:04 PM
The girl sells drugs so yes it is definitely stemmed from the addiction. I also REFUSE to have sec with him while he is using bc of fear of diseases plus I'm just not attracted to him while he is using. However, I can deal with a lot but cheating is the ultimate disrespect and I will never be able to erase this from my memory. Thanks for the swift response. I think I'm going to tell him while he's in rehab bc atleast he can start to deal with this and process it while he has support. I know if I tell him when he's home he will probably relapse right away.
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Posts: 271
Joined: June 27, 2015
Posted: April 26, 2016, 3:13 PM
That's a good choice. I hope all goes well for you and your family. You sound as if u got a good head on your shoulders. You can make this happen. Keep ur chin up girl. Were here for support if you need us.!
-------------------- IT ONLY GETS WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER.! | ||
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