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Posts: 0
Joined: January 30, 2016
Posted: January 30, 2016, 1:03 AM
I am so in love with a great man and have been with him for 10 years and have recently discovered hes is ac rac head. he wont admit it he says theres two kinds and hes not the baser kind. theyre all the same in my eyesbut not to him. I am soooooooooooooo lost we have an eight year old and shes noticed hes been breaking down my pens it broke my heart when she announced that to we have been through so much but i dont know how much more ican take i love him and i dont want to leave him but he has to stop and think of his family. Im not sure hes evenin love with me anymore i told him i would leave if he did it again and it still didnt stop him. he chose crack over me. what should i do? I use to ask him hes my best friend but now i cant talk to him about anything without him blowing up on me. anyone have any tips?
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Posts: 35
Joined: January 1, 2016
Posted: January 30, 2016, 3:04 PM
The honest truth? Take your child and leave. I know it may sound harsh but leave. Do NOT subject your child to an addict. If it were you, I could understand staying, trying to help, but you have a child who cannot be exposed to that. Take her and leave until you are 10000% certain he's working a program and taking steps to get clean.
Until he wants help - you cannot help. You cannot force it or control his actions, but what you can do is protect your child from witnessing her father abusing drugs or getting into something she shouldn't, because you can't be sure it isn't in the house or that she won't find drugs somewhere. Protect your child and get out or kick him out until he's seriously working a program and clean. I know that's such a hard choice and seems extreme. Yet, you want as much stability for your child as possible and don't want her exposed to daddy on drugs or drug abuse, so what's best for her is to make him leave or leave yourself. -------------------- 14 Years with an addict... Click Here to Read My Story 
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Posts: 35
Joined: January 1, 2016
Posted: January 30, 2016, 3:09 PM
As a secondary thought - would you take your child around a friend/family that was high, drunk, or using drugs? Probably not. It's so hard and I know my response may sound cold. I'm sorry for that.
Truth is, my kids were babies when their dad was using and I didn't know. My youngest was a year and the oldest was 2. The night I found out he was in full blown addiction, I called the cops (he was drunk and high and wouldn't let me leave peacefully) and left. I didn't return until he went to rehab and then I went home to an empty house. I have told my partner that if he becomes addicted to anything or goes back to drugs, what will happen is I will take our boys and leave. They are 5 and 6 now and it's so unfair to them to see dad up & down and not have that stability. I can't stay here and protect them if their father begins using again so if that happened, my choice would be to leave.... as much as it would break my heart to walk away. You have to remember, you aren't doing this, he is, his addiction is ruining things, not you. And leaving is simply protecting your child, as you should. This post has been edited by BeccaJoy on January 30, 2016, 3:09 PM -------------------- 14 Years with an addict... Click Here to Read My Story
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