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Posted: September 8, 2015, 4:09 PM
Please help!! I dont know what to do anymore. My son who is 23 years old has been using Meth for the pass three years. I have kicked him out of the house but will show up to my brother's shop and my mom's house and of course they let him in. People have seen him standing by the freeways starring down to the floor or sleeping in the parks. I cannot take it anymore , i am about to loose it myself. I have three other sons to worry about 6, 8 and 16. I don't know if grabbing him and taking him to Mexico against his will is the right thing to do. As those Rehabilitation places don't require for their consent as long as its from a parent. Please help i feel like i am about to loose it. I have been looking for the right answers and don't seem to find it. Answers as to what to do with him. I am so sad now and unable to smile! People have noticed. My son tells me to leave him alone that this is the life he wants. PLEASE HELP ME!!!
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Posts: 34
Joined: August 19, 2015
Posted: September 9, 2015, 11:25 AM
Find a Family Anonymous, or Narcotics Anonymous meeting near you and GO! If your brother and mom will go with you all the better. Nothing changes unless something changes. You are stuck right now and need to hear what the meeting members have to say. They have been there and have wisdom.
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Posts: 4
Joined: September 11, 2015
Posted: September 11, 2015, 3:41 AM
The first thing for families is to figure out why he is where he is. What was going on in his life before he changed?
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Posts: 4
Joined: September 11, 2015
Posted: September 11, 2015, 3:44 AM
I will take the time to answer your questions and if willing ask u some, so we can get to the core of his addiction. Ok
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Posts: 674
Joined: August 17, 2014
Posted: September 11, 2015, 2:56 PM
hi, taking your son to rehab in mexico or anywhere else against his will is a waste of time - he needs to want to get clean and if what you said is true, that he wants to live like this for now- there is nothing you can do - that is the reality of addiction - there is no easy answer and no road map to recovery - every addict must make there own choices and decisions - only when he reaches out and asks for help can you help him - for now you need to look after you and your other children.
your son is an adult and must learn to live with the consequences of his choices - hopefully he will come to realise that he needs help and that he cannot get out of the spiral of addiction until he reaches out for help - addiction is a progressive disease - every addict needs more and more of there drug of choice to try and get that initial high that they once experienced - getting clean and learning to live like that is not easy, but can be done- hopefully your son will make the right decisions in his life- all the best | ||
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Posted: September 12, 2015, 11:21 AM
I am the mom of an heroin addict who has been clean for 8 years. I don't say X because it is a life time journey. He is still on suboxone and sees a doctor every month so he cn continue to fight. You can tell him about suboxone and even investigate to see if they have any free rehabs that he can work with a doctor to get on suboxone. However, the good news is this is his fight and not yours. The more you fight, the less he will. The more distressed you get, the more addicted he will become. The more you help, the less he cares. That is the phenomenon of addiction. The best thing, and the most effective thing you can do for your loved one is to allow them to fight the battle and for you to stay healthy, happy and focused on your own recovery as the loved one of an addict. Google Alanon and attend meetings....lots of meetings and for a long time. It will probably take several months before you realize some basic things about the loved ones of addiction. I know it did me. I'm doing good these days, but it does not depend on my loved ones fight over addiction. I put him in the hands of his Lord and Savior...where he belongs. I relapse on occasion and worry myself sick, but I'm better. Surprisingly, when I let go and let God take care of my loved one, he got better as well. I'm not sure why, but I thank God to do what was not in my ability nor my place to fix.
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Posted: September 12, 2015, 11:25 AM
Ironically, if he is living in such a devastatingly low level, his chances of hitting bottom and seeking help are a lot better than if he were living in a mansion and having his drugs and other needs met. So, it's really a good sign that he may soon seek help.
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Posts: 18
Joined: September 14, 2015
Posted: September 14, 2015, 10:59 PM
Dear DesperateMother,
Travel Man is correct, the user must come to a point where he/she wants to stop & change. It might sound harsh but its time for tough love, tell your mother & brother to call the cops if he makes a pest of himself at their places. With yourself tell your son you are ready to help him when he is ready to quit that filthy drug which contains all sorts of chemicals from ethanol to bleach that ultimately can cause minor to major brain damage as meth raises the body temperature that fries major organs & brain cells. I want your son to get better as I/'ve seen too many of my mates now in Mental Institutions. All the best rory. | ||
Posts: 206
Joined: July 27, 2015
Posted: September 16, 2015, 10:01 PM
I cannot give you a family perspective, but i can give you the perspective of an addict.
If you really want to help him, let him go... Your son has his own silver strand to God and you're not it. That does not mean you don't love him, in fact, it hurts a lot to step back. But when my family kept picking up my pieces, giving me money, a place to stay, they were co-signing my death. Don't get me wrong, as the addict in my family, I LOVED that they were so easy to manipulate. I fed on the fear they had of losing me and I used their love for me against them. And that's just what your son is doing to you. By sticking around, you will not help him get sober. You're just sliding a mattress under him before he can hit each bottom. If he ever does get serious about recovery, don't let him come right home after a stint in rehab. Insist that he go to a half-way house. Don't house him under your roof... If he's in recovery, there's no reason a grown man should ever want to live with his mother. Only active drug addicts come home time and time again to mom and granny for a bail out. Get tough and stay tough, you may just save his life. -------------------- " Many times I sought the lighthouse The familiar beam in the dark Looking for the comfort Radiating from its spark; Today I turn that inward No longer am I the seeker I am not just the lighthouse I am the light - And lighthouse keeper. " | ||
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