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I Am Afraid My Dad Is Going To Die
Daughter






Posted: September 3, 2015, 10:22 PM
My dad is an alcoholic.
I grew up knowing that, but he was sober for 10 years while I was growing up. Something awfully traumatic happened to him and he began to drink again. (Honestly, the thing that happened was so bad that I understand why). He began to take antabuse to prevent him from drinking, but now he has just learned to stop taking it days before he wants to drink.
He chugs fifths of whiskey like they are water. He will drink numerous ones per day. Some weeks he goes along fine, sober. Then sometimes it's weeks of alcohol nonstop, stealing our family members' cars to get it even though we hid the keys (found spares).
He is also depressed. And told me he wants to die.
I have always been his best friend and confidant. My mom is at her end, he verbally abuses her when he drinks. It is disgusting what he says to her. And I'm nearing my end as well.
My mom thinks once we get him back on his meds he'll be fine.
He tried a 30 day rehab and drank the first day out. He used to drink coming home from AA.
But I have never seen him as bad as he is recently. I feel like the parent. And I need help. Even if my mom disagrees, I need to help him. It feels like my dad is already dead and I can't lose him. He used to be the best dad ever, I swear. And I need that back.
I need my sober, loving dad back, not the abusive a****** I currently have.

I will bring him to the psych hospital near us (which offers depression/addiction programs inpatient or outpatient), I will try rehab again but I worry about that because it failed us before and costs so much, I will find a therapist, I will drive him to AA, I will pay to have a breathalyzer in his car.

I feel at a loss because I'm barely 20 and do not know what to do.
But if I don't do something I may have to watch my father die.

Please, someone help me.
Anyone with experience.

Please don't tell me to ignore him till he wants help. I study psychology and I know many people suggest that, but he is also depressed. If he sees his final support removed he might commit suicide. I need to save his life. I need my dad back. Please. I am desperate.


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Joined: July 18, 2006


Posted: September 4, 2015, 9:32 AM
{quote]if I don't do something I may have to watch my father die.[/quote]Unfortunately, this is the reality of the disease of alcoholism. You cannot force him to stop having the disease of alcoholism, just as you cannot force someone to stop having diabetes. What you CAN do is take care of yourself, start setting boundaries, and seek help for your mother and your self.

You can START HERE. Al-Anon is a group of families of alcoholics who have learned how to live happy and useful lives whether or not their alcoholic family members are active in their addictions. They learn to set boundaries, establish their lives independent from their addictions to their alcoholics, and things get better for them and different for their alcoholic family members.

You can't change the disease of alcoholism, but you can learn to live in spite of others' illnesses, and learn to be happy and usefully whole.



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Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.
Poster






Posted: September 4, 2015, 9:39 AM
That's giving up on him.

Alcoholism is a disease. It's just like cancer. Addiction IS an illness. It's not his fault that he's sick. Yes, he chooses to drink, but he does have an illness.

And I refuse to walk away. I will not let my father die. And I am strong. I do not need help for me. I need to figure out what to do for him.

Thank you for your response, but I will never agree that walking away from someone with an illness is okay or right.
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