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How Do You Walk Away? What Do You Do To Help?
Denise






Posted: April 8, 2015, 4:24 AM
So my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We were friends for about a year before and had an awesome relationship. During the time of our friendship I didn't know he was a user. I did have some suspicions from my own personal experience but never asked him. So we ended up starting a relationship. I eventually found out he used and we both began using together. I had used in the past at the age of 14 like twice and didnt ever use again until I was 22 this is when I eventually became an addict myself. In the beginning of us using together I didnt think much of it and we would just hang out. Until he had his very first episode and I freaked out, he started accusing me of giving signs to someone outside the window. After that first episode it all went downhill and I would get accused of everything from cheating to following him. He literally would tell me that he saw me following him in a different car that wasnt mine and this was impossible because I had a 9-5 and never called out. He would say I was sleeping with his co workers, hear me moaning, I mean the list is endless. Eventually we both stopped using for a period of 6 months but all that damage stayed and even if he is sober he believes that all those things really did happen. Why does that happen? & how does someone explain such things? Has anyone had similar experiences?

I eventually relapsed before and hid it from him because I was already too traumatized from his episodes. I was the only one working at the time Mon-Fri and on the weekends I had my son. I was still using and I hate to say it but I depended on it everyday to get me up and going. As much as I wanted to quit I knew that I was going to be past out asleep for days which I couldn't do because of my job and son. I eventually lost my job and during this time I took advantage of it and slept for days and stayed clean. This was when I stayed clean and went back to a daily routine without feeling as if I needed the drug to function. I was able to bring my son home permanently from his dads, which made me complete.

So now as of a week ago my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument and he left and stayed at his cousins house where he eventually got high. He went back to his parents house yesterday and all he talks about is how I and other people are just playing games and we all know what we are doing. He tells me how talking to me and everyone else just makes him more confused. I can't seem to understand what is going on with him or even how to help him. I feel really bad but I have told him many times that he needs to accept and quit living in denial. To my understanding is that he goes threw a psychotic stage while high on the meth then when he is sober he doesn't know how to seperate whats real and whats not real. I dont know I could be wrong. Im just ready to throw in the towel and stay away until he gets help. I just can't afford losing everything again for someone that doesnt want help. He says he does want help but then doesnt do anything about it and when we talk about his incidents all he does is get into this mad rage. Maybe hearing someone elses experience can help get a better understanding.


Posts: 1
Joined: April 21, 2015


Posted: April 21, 2015, 9:41 PM
Hi Denise, reading your post was like reading a book about my own life. My husband and I have been married for 25 years, with him having occassional bouts of drug use. He had been clean for about 15 years, when 2 years ago he started smoking METH (ice). He thought he'd be able to quit, but it now has him in a strangle hold. He has developed some of the exact things you talked about. He now sets recorders around the house when he leaves, then stays up all night listening to them accusing me of having other men in the house while he's gone. Everytime we leave the house I am accused of signaling to other men, etc. He constantly hears things that aren't real. Recently he went to a psychiatrist. She told him it was drug induced psychosis. It may or may nor get better with time, but it is imperative he stop using. I don't think he will. He is even on probation and is looking at having his probation revoked because of a failed ua. The thing that gets me is that he blames everything on me. Calls me a w****, etc, even though I have stood by him for 25 years trying to hold it all together. I'm sorry you are going through this, too. I don't know what to do anymore.


Posts: 3
Joined: July 28, 2015


Posted: July 28, 2015, 8:56 AM
Drug induced psychosis isnt cool. To me it seems those that have drug induced psychosis do not have the brain capicity to deal with meth. And it only makes the brain worse over time while still using. Rehab, halfway houses, na meetings sounds like the answer hear. U could find support at na meetings yourself. Help your husband with tough love. It helps for hard headed addicts. I myself am recovering. I myself needed altimatums to choose rehab or not seeing my wife and kid instead. I am a year and three months clean which isnt that long but im happy and working to maintain my sobriety. No regrets going to rehab. Was there for 10 months. Hard work, humilty and acceptance, and most esp.awareness of your emotions and triggers i believe can help your husband/bf. Godbless and goodluck. Visit your local churches if u dont know where to find na meeting as well. They know it all
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