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Sad And Angry!! My Babies Dad Using Needles Now...


Posts: 5
Joined: February 22, 2015


Posted: February 22, 2015, 1:00 PM
What do I do to protect myself and my children?. He says the right things but behind my back is still using and it's getting worse, he started to use needles to get the high from pills. I caught him in my basement shooting up. I feel like he is dead and I can't have him in my life or children's life. Now I feel like I'm not there to monitor his use but I dont want to be there any more. It's tearing me apart and no one understands the pain I feel. Help me understand what to do!! How do I move on from here free of the pain he's caused me?


Posts: 674
Joined: August 17, 2014


Posted: February 22, 2015, 1:20 PM
Hi Eloisa- your in a bad place-you need to protect yourself and your kids-you gotta get him outta there-you may have to involve the authorities - they will be on your side big time where kids are involved- you can ask him to leave or get him out - he cannot be using with kids around- the emotional stuff is harder to deal with-that is the curse of addiction it causes so much pain for those around the addict-the addict cannot see the damage and pain they are causing they are too wrapped up in their addiction-the drugs will always come first-thats terrible but its the way it is- addicts cannot be trusted-never, when using-we will say anything, do anything to get our drugs- you need to reach out to familly or friends someone you can trust who will support you- keep posting on here-you are not alone there are many people in similiar circumstances- you are among friends here Eloisa- best of luck- i'm truly sorry for the pain you are having to endure-


Posts: 220
Joined: December 21, 2014


Posted: February 22, 2015, 10:00 PM
Deare Eloisa,
I agree with Traveling Man. You and your children are in a bad spot. You need to seek out counsel. You should be able to call your local City, County, or State - either the District Attorney's office or the Department of Famly Services (this department is called different things in different states). If that doesn't work, you may consider talkig to an attorney who specializes in family law.

It is most helpful to reach out to someone who has been in your shoes. You may consider attending Al Anon or NAR Anon meetings, or see if there is a hotline in your ares. As you may know already, you are powerless over his addiction. Words and actions don't line up. He can say the exact right thing at the right moment and be very convincing. The problem is that it is empty air until he finds his own program of recovery.

Drug abuse is rampant and it leaves innocent people to suffer in it's wake.



Posts: 5
Joined: February 22, 2015


Posted: February 24, 2015, 5:09 PM
I'm so glad I found this forum. I've had my friends and family to talk to but they only see him as an axxhole. I see him as very sick. I've made a decision to cut him out of my life as much as possible and he said he accepts this. He hasn't lived with me since I was 7mnths pregnant and he was only here sleeping in my basement rec room. Man this had been the hardest thing I've ever faced and I have Multiple Sclerosis. He calls me crying. Breaks my heart. I'm still confused as to how I should react. This is not in his control, or is it??


Posts: 674
Joined: August 17, 2014


Posted: February 24, 2015, 5:25 PM
Hi Eloisa - you made the right decision-i know its hard-but you must protect yourself and your family- we addicts are very good at manipulating people and situations- be careful what you believe- be sceptical until you are sure of anything he tells you- sorry its not nice having to live without being able to trust someone, but it goes with the world of addiction, i am so sorry you have been dragged into this world- stay strong-remember your not alone- keep posting- best of luck-


Posts: 299
Joined: September 27, 2014


Posted: February 25, 2015, 10:29 AM
Dear Elosia, You have realized that his addiction is spiraling out of control.He is unable to care for himself at the moment and should not be around you or the children by doing such is detrimental. .his addiction poses a threat to the health of the family....He calls you crying to which you respond to him that he needs help...that he get some help...You want him to get help and get better for himself ....You have health issues yourself and it is no good for you to be under stress from this whole situation. It effects your health your well.being and you need to function as you have a child to look after and tend to...You have to put yourself and the child first...Addicts can be very selfish ....yo have to be more selfish and take care of the family minus Dad at the moment....do not allow him to come home when he calls remind him he needs help....You didn't cause his addiction nor can you fix it...it's up to him.


Posts: 5
Joined: February 22, 2015


Posted: February 26, 2015, 3:27 PM
I have a hard time being selfish. I just wish I could move away and have nothing to do with him ever again. I hate this so much. Its consuming my soul. I'm a prisoner to his drama.


Posts: 674
Joined: August 17, 2014


Posted: February 26, 2015, 3:45 PM
Hi Eloisa - looking out for yourself and your family is not being selfish- what your husband is doing is absolutely selfish - he is putting his need/desire to get high ahead of your needs, his family's needs - he does not care what effect this has on you- that is selfish- exposing his kids to this way of life - that is selfish - you are doing what any normal mother would do - putting the welfare of her kids before everything else - you have nothing to feel guilty about- far from it - you and your kids are the victims in this whole situation - not the guilty party - do what you have to do for your own well being and dont look back or feel any guilt - you are doing the right thing - best of luck and look after you and your kids-


Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011


Posted: February 26, 2015, 3:55 PM
You will be a prisoner to his drama as long as you play the game.

The co-dependant of the addict/alcoholic is as sick as he is...
He is addicted to the drug - You are addicted to the addict.

I strongly suggest you contact your local Nar-Anon or Al-Anon group(s) in your area and get to their meetings. They will show you what to do to get your life back.

All the best.

Bob R

--------------------
Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous

Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf


AA's HOW IT WORKS:
Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf


NA's HOW IT WORKS:
http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf


----------------------------------------------------------------

--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.

---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

... I need AA more than it needs me.

--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.


...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.

---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.


--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !


---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.


---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.


... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.


---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .


"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
--Richard Rohr


WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)
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