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Daughter Falling


Posts: 0
Joined: February 19, 2015


Posted: February 19, 2015, 12:59 PM
I just found out that my daughter (who has bipolar and is unmedicated) is doing speed. She's being evicted, has lost her job, says she's od at least once. She sent me an email detailing all these things but being very up and positive about wanting to get off, or at least get healthy. She won't go to rehab, but has said that she is interested in therapy. I don't know how much to believe, if this is just a positive high that she's experiencing. And what I want to do is run to her, take her in and fix everything. I know that's not good, that I'll be enabling her, but how much help can I give before it gets to that? I hate the thought of her being on the streets, maybe not knowing where she is or what she's doing, possibly getting worse.


Posts: 220
Joined: December 21, 2014


Posted: February 19, 2015, 7:09 PM
Dear Earthmoma,
In my opinion, there are 2 main barriers to recovery: First is denial, as to the problem or the extent of the problem. Second is a dumb "half mesaure" plan on the part of the addict. Addicts and alcholics will try a thousand combinations, short of a full measure, to control their addiction. In my opinion, the only solution is a full measure: Treatement (if available), attendance at meetings every day for at least the first 90 days, getting a sponsor, reading the literature, performing service work, working the steps, etc.. Doing this one day at a time, and focusing on the next indicated step.

Partnership with a doctor is important to those people who require medication for things like bipolar.

You may consider a family supoprt program such as Al Anon or NAR ANon. You will be amazed at how understood and welcomed you are. You will learn life skills so that you are in the best possible position to be good support for your loved addicted one.

There are real good people on these message boards. I bet their experiences will be of help to you.

I hope this helps. Let me know if I can clarify. Good luck. Flyboy


Posts: 299
Joined: September 27, 2014


Posted: February 20, 2015, 10:37 AM
Dear Earth Momma, Your daughter actually has 2 issues at hand you stated she is bipolar.I am assuming she was diagnosed ,the fact she is not addressing it or taking medication for that is something that must be addressed...That could be a factor in her overall mental health...She cannot ignore that, that alone could play a part in her addiction.Now far as the addiction you state you almost over dosed on one occasion she has lost her job ,she needs to understand therapy is not the cure all....she is trying to tip toe around her issues .Until she gets to the root of the problem she will not get any better....Now as far as you wanting to run to her and fix it all...You cannot fix anything you can enable but you are not the one who can fix her...She has to want to get better she has to want to fix herself. ..You can advise her and suggest she begin at addressing the bipolar,you can offer to go with her to the doctor ...No none can fix an addict, we believe our love can be the cure all...but love can't fix it and in fact sometimes we have to set love aside and not allow feelings to hamper in their recovery. ..we have to use cool level headed thinking ....we have to peel the layers and figure out if they mean what they say, is it a bunch of words or are they forming a rational way to begin their recovery. ..I don't believe she is serious not when she is giving you lip service about therapy. ..You need to discuss this with her...I know she's your daughter but you cannot allow her to fool your heart...when our children are addicts we still believe they are our children we knew before addiction entered into the picture. That is no longer the case they have changed as so have we....You can't travel the addiction path and be the same person...doesn't mean you can't love them but you have to be smarter then the lies they wish to tell you...she needs bipolar medication under the care of a doctor and allow that doctor to advise her as to how to address her addiction. ...
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