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Posts: 27
Joined: December 31, 2014
Posted: January 5, 2015, 2:24 AM
My counselor told me to be aware of the possibility of my daughter's death. This came up when I explained that I cannot allow her to live here in our place, if she continues with her choices.
It's all so confusing. My daughter says she's been off all drugs for 20 days now and that's amazing. But she's in a circle of users, criminals and whatnot, and I haven't seen her in days. I don't know who to believe. I hope tomorrow's meeting will enlighten me! Fingers crossed! -------------------- If you have no voice, scream. If you have no legs, run. If you have no hope, invent. Alegria | ||
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Posted: January 5, 2015, 6:06 AM
I hope your daughters okay
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Posts: 27
Joined: December 31, 2014
Posted: January 11, 2015, 2:43 AM
She's not OK but she's a strong young woman. She has no time for me or her brother because her new friends take all her time, so we haven't spoken. She's choosing her current lifestyle.
She's staying in contact with me but I cannot trust her any longer. Her words don't connect with her actions. There are so many falsehoods. Enough of this denial I've been desperately holding to. She needs to see me living, so that she will want to live too. -------------------- If you have no voice, scream. If you have no legs, run. If you have no hope, invent. Alegria | ||
Posts: 5957
Joined: April 17, 2005
Posted: January 11, 2015, 3:00 AM
Stewart,
I don't have answers for you, but I can tell you that I falsely thought allowing my son to stay here would in some way keep him safe. As long as they choose to use, they are NOT safe anywhere! Of course, there's probably more temptation to use surrounded by people who are doing it too and it's a little more inconvenient sneaking around our houses to use, but there is NO SAFE PLACE for them. One night when I was on my way to bed, I heard my son's tv still on. I knocked to see if he was still awake and when he didn't respond, I decided to open the door to turn off the tv. I found him hunched over his bed with a needle in his arm unresponsive. After yelling and shaking him, he FINALLY responded!!! Thank God!!! It scared the heck out of me!!! I remember well the heartache I felt when my son was spiraling downward out of control! The only place I found ANY peace was in church. I prayed for God to send his angels to surround and protect my son until he was ready for recover. My son now has 3 years clean, thank God! He had several relapses before he got that much clean time. One day at a time! Sending prayers for you and your daughter. Susan -------------------- "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke (attributed) "If you think you are too small to make a difference, you have never been in bed with a mosquito." Anita Roddick | ||
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Posts: 27
Joined: December 31, 2014
Posted: January 11, 2015, 3:17 AM
Thank you for your prayers. Unfortunately I do not believe in any god. Some nights I wish that I did.
-------------------- If you have no voice, scream. If you have no legs, run. If you have no hope, invent. Alegria | ||
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Posted: January 11, 2015, 8:55 PM
Dear Stewart,
I am sorry to hear about your daughter. Regarding her strength, it is no comparison to the uber strength of addiction. I suspect she is in serious trouble and doesn't realize it (as part of the disease is denial). Regarding God - I encourage you to consider the concept of a "higher power". Your daughter already has a higher power - it is the drugs and the people around her. This power is taking her down, despite being a strong person. The key for recovery is to find an even higher power - one that leads to good health. This power doesn't need to be the traditional definitions - but it is an important concept toward recovery. The AA "Big Book" has an excellent chapter on this topic. For you, there are excellent family support programs such as Al Anon or NAR Anon. I would be glad to share more about my story if it would help. I am a recoverying codependent and also a recoverying addict. I have been in recovery for 10 years and found a much better wa to live. Fly. | ||
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Posts: 27
Joined: December 31, 2014
Posted: January 12, 2015, 2:27 AM
Fly,
Any information, stories, tips, support is welcome. I am alone, and very lost. Stewart -------------------- If you have no voice, scream. If you have no legs, run. If you have no hope, invent. Alegria | ||
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Posted: January 12, 2015, 7:05 AM
Dear Stewart,My son is a addict has been for ten years....it's so difficult to be the parent of a addict...especially hard because we get so consumed with their addiction behavior and downward spirals ,that we fail to see the effect it has on us.Their addiction isolates us,makes us enablers...we to are deeply effected...society ties our hands as they are considered adults,and we know that adults are allowed to make their own decisions whether they be good ones or bad ones....We cannot control them...they have to want to stop and seek help...otherwise we are blowing air in the wind...so what are we to do as parents. ..educate ourselves about addiction, realize that sadly our kids are different now....they are driven by the drug...if something doesn't seem right ...don't give them the benefit of the doubt....safe guard what you can...as believe me they will seek whatever they can for their fix....also don't tolerate the behavior....nothing will change if you are willing to except her nonsense......and seek help for yourself....forget about pride and I'm embarresed....get over it. ..get some counseling for yourself you need to vent and find strength. ...As far as her not having time for you or her brother...Right now she is consumed with her addiction...she's going to use whether she under your roof or with her friends....sadly it hasn't played itself out yet. ..eventually usually the addicts will turn on each other..she might even wind up getting arrested amongst other things...it's about her choices...she has to want to help herself ..until then you have to do what you can for you and your son...He still needs a healthy dad....and he deserves that.
This post has been edited by Christophers Mom on January 12, 2015, 7:12 AM | ||
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