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Posted: July 22, 2014, 12:33 PM
Hi Every one,
It's been awhile since I have been on here and took a while to find this site again but oh so glad I found it. Long story short husband addicted to oxy back in 2012. He came clean that he was addicted in spring of 13. He went on a long withdrawal period. He drained our finances. he is also a sales man for liquor and would order cases to sell for drugs but would never pay the invoices so accumulated over 10,000 in invoices. So I guess he started selling meth, coke, Pain pills to pay off invoices. Went through his car in Dec 2013 found meth pipe. Confronted him said it was his friends. During this time he lost lots of weight in a short time frame and started to chew gum. Never in the 7 years i have been with him did he ever like gum. I know it might sound crazy but that was a red flag for me along with the weight loss He supposedly quit selling after i confronted him. There were still odd things happening so I became obsessed with finding drugs in our house. I know sounds like I am going crazy. Started to find hollowed pens with residue in them them cut straws and numerous receipts where he bought lighters just in the past couple of months. I went on a trip to California with my mom. He couldn't go because of work. I told him to hang out with his friends and have fun. Big mistake. Come home and find meth and meth pipes in our bedroom closet He says it is friends but just before that I asked him if he had anyone over and he told me no. At first the story was the meth was his friends and he was hiding it for him because he couldn't take it home. Supposedly this friend is a drug dealer so that story didn't make sense. I was like if he is such a big bad drug dealer why do you need to hide his stuff. Then he told me he had been over and he had left it here so my husband put it in our closet so I wouldn't see. Then I found out that my husband was selling again. So last night found a pill jar of 25 percosets (sp?) They were 5 mg so I took them and hid them. He then went crazy this morning looking for them and finally asked if I had taken them I said yes. He is like where r they. So I gave them to him. When I had found the meth in our closet we had a big fight he said he wouldn't sell anymore blah blah blah. He wanted to start over. Clean slate in our relationship because I dont trust him needless to say. I keep telling him that isn't something that can just be given. But he still wanted a clean slate. So when he found out this morning that i had snooped he was furious that i had taken his pills saying we were supposed to start over. I told him this is how we start over as i gave him his pills. Like you want me to give you complete trust when you continue to do this. So he is saying he is going to move out but he is still coming every evening to see our 2 girls. I am at the point that i don't care that he leaves but i want him to know it's him but he keeps saying it's my fault. Was it right to snoop? Probably didn't help the situation and made me crazy but this totally is not on me. The few things that throw me off are the straws and lighters anyone know what kind of drug he would have been using? I think meth but he tells me how gross that stuff is. He also is not a big smoker so don't know what the lighter would be for. But it could all be him playing the part. Sorry my post is so long just wanted to give a update. | ||
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Posted: July 22, 2014, 1:34 PM
Oh and I should have added that he is super obsessed with being clean. He was always a clean person but he started to use rubbing alcohol to clean his body. He also uses mouthwash like it's going out if style. He brushes his teeth obsessively. He also spends hours picking pimples on his face and back arms aandhips/ butt region. They look like normal pimples to me but I don't know what meth sores would look like.
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Posted: July 23, 2014, 5:50 AM
You are putting yourself and your property at risk by harboring a drug dealer, even if you are married to him. If a raid by the police goes down, you could be charged, even if you are not involved with his crimes. The police don't split hairs or decide who is innocent or guilty... they just see what they see and round everyone up and let a judge decide guilt or innocence. If you knowingly "allow" criminal activity out of your home, you can get yourself in a lot of trouble even if you have nothing to do with it. Attorneys are expensive and judges may ask why you did nothing to report his dealing to the police.
If your husband is arrested while driving your family car with drugs in it, the car will be impounded as part of a drug crime. A customer of your husband's drug dealing could turn violent and seek revenge. Snooping is your right as a co-homeowner in order to protect yourself. I love it when addicts insist on us respecting their right to privacy, while they violate our rights on a daily basis. Factor in your two daughters. Child Protective Services would take a dim view of having children in a known situation of drug stashing and dealing, even if you are innocent. A parent has the obligation to provide a safe environment for the kids. Sorry to sound harsh, but you and your daughters are in a risky situation. Not only is he dealing, but the obsessing and skin picking sounds like he is using as well. Don't sit by and minimize the dangers of having him around you and the kids. By not standing up and taking action against his criminal activity, you are giving him "permission" to continue messing up your life. | ||
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Posted: July 23, 2014, 11:04 AM
Thanks Roberta for your reply. He swears he is done selling but in all honesty I can't believe anything that comes from his mouth. He just left this morning for a while, but still says he is going to come see the girls everyday.
When I found out that he was dealing both times I told him that I would get the girls taken from me too if he gets caught. I don't what that to happen he says that I am right and supposedly stops. I tell him that his car is easier recognizable and if someone gets pissed off at him they can find out where he lives they can come after us. He tells me he is just the middle man. Dont have any idea what that means but he says he doesn't actually sell the drugs he has someone sell them for him. But again how much is the truth idk. I have never seen him sell drugs from our house but I have seen him sell liquor from our house. I was starting to feel bad for him leaving but now I don't so much. You are completely right that I shouldn't let him ruin our lives. Thank you again! | ||
Posts: 3
Joined: July 23, 2014
Posted: July 23, 2014, 2:59 PM
Hi, my husband is a meth user, we were mariied since 1991, its only after 1998 when i realized that he is a drug addict although i suspected him but i never had a chance to entertain those tnoughts because he was so kind and loving. It was only during 1999 when he was caught by the police for illegal possession of drugs, since then i become a worrier and more paraniod than him. I develop stomach pains and heart palpitations whenever i thnik of that scenario. Hundred times i think of leaving him but i can't, he grew up with a dysfunctional family and i know he needs me to be on his side. We are childless and maybe that is the reason why i'm still here living with him i have no one to protect, but if iw will be in your situation i think i will die of nervousness.
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