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Posted: June 18, 2014, 10:59 AM
I just need someone to talk to, text, email, phone calls. My Husband is using this form of drug now instead of the cocaine he was using years ago before we met. This is the third time around and I just do not know what to do and I need help figuring things out. I do not know whether to stay or go. we have been married only a short amount of time and right now I feel like the only option I have is divorce.
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Posted: June 18, 2014, 4:27 PM
I feel your pain dear one. I am a 62 year old woman and just found out a month ago my husband has been using meth for over a year now. Let me tell you what I know for sure:
The pain that you are feeling is your inner knowing that is telling you what you do not want to face; that as much as you may love him, you have to be strong and give him the ultimatum, and stick to it. If he is going to heal, it will not be because you stayed and continued to enable him; it will be because it is what he really wants to do. He can only act according to what is state of awareness is dear, and until that changes, he will continue to do his drug and running from the parts of life he does not want to face. You cannot take this personal dear one. This is not about you not being good enough, or loving enough, it is not about you at all. It is about him and his issues, and his state of awareness. Sometimes the kindest act of love is to let them go. That is what it takes for some, to lose what they hold most dear. At my age of 63 years, we have been married for 22 years, this has been quite a shock for me as well, but I am old enough and wise enough to know it is not about me or anything I have done. I have loved this man all these years, and did notice changes over the past year or so. Our finances took a nose dive, he was becoming antisocial with our long time friends, and so on. There is a lot more I could tell you, but I think you understand. I have found much strength in support from our friends. He has been informed that if he does not make a move towards rehab this Monday he has to leave. I am very adamant about that. This is not the life I chose, it is what he chose for himself. I will no longer suffer because of his bad choices. I have to think about my well-being. So do you dear. Help him as much as you can and support him when he choses to get help, but until then, take care of yourself and make plans for yourself. Do not let yourself be drug any further into his pain and suffering. It is hard to do, and hard to watch, but if they cannot bring themselves to think about something other than themselves they will just have to continue to be in pain until they decided enough is enough. This is so hard to do, we love these people. I am heartbroken, but I will heal. I hope I have helped you, or at least given you some food for thought. I will be glad to support you through email if you would like. You can email me at bob_kat1@live.com I am happy to talk to you. | ||
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